


Truth and Consiquences

by voltagelisa



Series: Tania Shepard's Story [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2017-12-08 22:21:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 84,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltagelisa/pseuds/voltagelisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know this chapter is short, but I have been struggling with this story. Almost gave up on it, but as you can see I haven't. I will be finishing all of my stories, some chapters maybe very short, but the stories will get done.</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Well dear readers as promised the sequel to Trail and Errors. If you are new to story I would suggestion you read Trial and Error first. I’ve changed some of the story with the help of Alex and my awesome beta Jen. Man I don’t know what I would do without her, she’s the greatest.**

**Once to again to warn my readers, I will be changing the storyline. Not in this chapter but probably every other chapter from here on in.**

**Now to someone I owe a debt of gratitude to: Jen you are the best, you’ve stuck with me through all of my stories, you helped me in more ways than one. You’re the greatest friend a person could have, I am so glad I met you.**

**Well on to the story, hope everyone enjoys it. Leave a review let me know what you think.**  

Shepard sat back in her chair, enjoying the peace between missions. It was the only time she got to talk to Garrus. He had chosen to work for C-Sec and then enter the Turian Spectre Training Program. Valern said he should make the cut easily, but he still needed to be tested. Next month she was to pick up her husband and test him. Once that was completed, he would be a Spectre like her. 

It had been a few days since she last talked with him. Things on the ship had been hectic. She had been dodging Valern’s calls, telling him that all was fine, and they had no new information on the Reapers. That’s the way it’d been since she left the Citadel and realized that Valern loved her. To stop those emotions, she’d stopped talking to him. She hated to admit it, but it was one of the hardest things she had ever done. She finally admitted to herself that she had deep feeling for the turian, but it didn’t matter. She loved Garrus a lot more than she cared for Valern.

Shepard smiled lovingly as Garrus’ holo image appeared in front of her. “How is it going at C-Sec?” she asked, grinning at the scowl on his face. 

“Making a few arrests. We are still rebuilding the Citadel. Crime is up because of all the confusion and chaos. The Council has ordered a curfew until things settle down,” he said and sighed tiredly. “Oh and Valern asked me how things were going with you since you haven’t been sending reports regularly.” Garrus grinned, quite pleased that his wife was ignoring the turian. “When are you heading back here?” 

“After we check out reports on a nearby planet. It seems people have been going missing. After that we should be on our way there. And you can tell Valern that I’ll give him a full report once I dock at the Citadel,” she answered. She was about continue their conversation when she was interrupted by Joker. 

“Shepard, we need you on the bridge,” Joker announced urgently, the tone of his voice placing her on alert. 

Garrus heard the urgency and saw Shepard’s ‘commander face’ fall into place. Fear and worry instantly raced through them. “I’m sorry, Garrus, but I have to go,” she stated quickly before cutting the connection. He stared blankly at the screen, his gut clenching tightly before he pushed it away. _This was Shepard,_ he thought, trying to calm his nerves. _She would make it through anything. I don’t need to worry_.

Shepard moved quickly toward the bridge. She didn’t reach it before the Normandy rocked violently. She moved quickly, nearly losing her balance as the ship trembled beneath her feet. She grabbed the nearest extinguisher, trying to fight the fires that were springing up all around her. She feared for her crew; the ship was becoming damaged too fast. She knew it wasn’t going to survive this attack. 

“Shepard, Joker is still in the cockpit,” Liara told her urgently. 

“Get the crew onboard the escape pods. I’ll look after Joker,” she ordered. She didn’t look back as there wasn’t a need; she knew Liara would do as she commanded. 

She moved quickly toward the cockpit, glad to see this part of the ship was already emptied of crew. She wanted to keep the death count to a minimum and hoped she could. She found Joker exactly where she thought he would be, still navigating the ship. “Joker, we need to get out of here!” she ordered urgently. 

“I’m not leaving the Normandy! We can still make it,” he argued. 

“Joker, the Normandy is lost. Don’t go down with the ship,” she begged as she grabbed his arm. 

She saw the flash of pain in his eyes as one of his bones snapped beneath her hand. “Hey, take it easy,” he cried out. She ignored him as they made their way slowly to the escape pods. She hoped everyone was off the ship. Relief swept through her as she saw that all but one escape pod was deployed. Almost everyone made it off. Good. She helped Joker inside and strapped him in. She was about to jump in herself but the other ship, one she had never seen before, fired once more. Shepard stumbled back and tried to hold onto the pod doorway, but it was no use. She gripped the edge of the wall where the panel sat. “Joker, give this to Garrus,” she yelled, throwing him the necklace that Valern gave her for a wedding gift.

“Shepard!” Joker cried out, horrified as he watched her float away. He watched as she reached out, hitting the panel as he struggled with his buckles so he could reach her. To his dismay, the doors closed in front of him and the pod launched. 

Through a window he watched as she struggled, grabbing behind her helmet. He knew already that she wasn’t going to make it. He was watching her final moments. He buried his head in his hands and screamed out in pain and anguish. 

Shepard floated through open space, her lungs screaming for oxygen. There was none to be had. Her heart thundered in her chest, fighting to keep her alive. She was vaguely aware of debris floating past her as she fought to stay alive. She glanced around and saw a planet coming toward her. In that moment, she knew she was going to die. The atmosphere hit her hard. Her body began to burn. She would have screamed, but there was no air to make a sound. Her body heated up, and blackness slowly took her over her vision as pain radiated through every limb. 

“Goodbye, Garrus,” she choked out with her final breath.

Those were her last words. Her heartbeat slowed and she stared at nothingness as she felt her lungs collapse. Her heart stuttered and finally stopped. For one split second fear and terror gripped her tightly, and then she felt no more. Shepard’s body burned as it fell to the planet’s surface. 

Tania Shepard Vakarian died alone in space with her loved one unaware of her fate.    

**~ooooooooooooo~**

Kaidan stood on board an Alliance ship as he watched the Normandy debris float by. He sighed in relief as he watched the last pod pulled onboard the ship. _At least Shepard and Joker are safe_ , he thought with a small smile. He didn’t want to have to tell Garrus that Shepard was dead. 

He knew they had better get to the Citadel quickly or Garrus would come out searching for them; especially since this attack came while he had been speaking to his wife. He could just imagine Garrus’ state of mind at the current moment. 

He made his way to the cargo bay where the pods were held. He grinned as Joker climbed out of the pod with help, but his smile slowly faded when the door to the pod closed behind him. “Joker, where is Shepard?” Kaidan asked, his voice showing the panic he felt. 

Joker looked at Kaidan and slowly shook his head. His eyes were haunted as he stared at nothing. Kaidan swallowed thickly, his throat burned and his eyes watered. He saw the necklace that Joker held in his hands and knew. Commander Tania Shepard Vakarian was dead…

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Garrus sat in his office with a scowl; worry and fear slithered down his spine. It had been two weeks since his communication to Shepard had been cut off. He knew Shepard would have contacted him by now, unless there was a serious problem. He kept telling himself that there were problems with communications and Tania was on her way here to him. 

Pallin sat in his office, his hands balled into fists as Alenko stood silently in front of his desk. He wanted to talk to Garrus, but Pallin had interceded. Now with just a few words, he felt like he had been hit in the face by a krogan. Shepard had been killed in action, and the Normandy had been destroyed. 

Shepard was gone - a woman full of life, a woman who had been a good friend to him. His former lover was dead. She would never return, and he would never again hear her voice. He would never see her again…

He closed his eyes, a howl building in his throat. Unable to speak, he watched the human leave. His hand slammed into his desk and he howled his pain. Tears that he hadn’t shed in years burned his eyes and slowly trickled down his cheek. 

Chellick sat in his office. The krogan had just left, his howl of pain following him into the corridor. Chellick’s chest constricted as he buried his face in his hands. He cried silently. He pictured Shepard the last time he saw her. Her eyes bright and vivid, a broad smile on her face - she had been so very alive. 

He just lost a friend, an old lover, and someone who he held in the utmost esteem. 

Valern was pacing his office. He just received the news, and nothing in range of his grasp was safe from his rage. He howled, he cried, and then he howled more. She was the only human he had ever allowed close and  the only human that he had fallen in love with. He considered her to be his mate and his equal; and now she had been taken away from him. Shepard had taught him so much. She had accepted him, even though he hated humanity. She never pushed humans on him, and never forced him to change his beliefs. 

With a growl of seething rage, Valern plotted and planned. He would make sure everything Shepard had done would not be forgotten. He would make sure her mate was protected, even from himself. He would do what he knew Shepard would ask of him if she was with him. He may never like humanity, but he would do everything in his power to protect Shepard and those that were close to her.  

Garrus heard the howl coming from Pallin’s office. He wanted to investigate, but he already knew what had caused such a reaction. No one had to tell him. She was gone. He knew it. The emptiness that he had been ignoring told him so. Tania was dead. He wouldn’t be able to hold her; he would only have a memory of her scent. He would never hear her voice again, never have her close. But one thing he knew for certain was that he would always love his wife, his mate. He would take no other for himself; the one for him was gone. 

His head is buried in his hands as he howls out his pain. It wasn’t a one long one like Pallin’s. This was continuous, one of a Turian losing his mate. His chest hurt, he couldn’t think; all he could do was feel. Rage, anger, pain, and a loss so great he wasn’t sure if he could keep going. His whole world had just crumbled around him. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Kaidan walked into Garrus’ office. He heard the howls from Pallin’s office and was worried what he would find when he met his former crewmate. He opened the door to see Garrus crumbled at his desk. He looked like his whole world had been devastated. He walked over to the turian and he didn’t even notice him. He hesitated as he placed a hand on Garrus’ shoulder. There was still no reaction from his friend. He didn’t know what to do; he didn’t trust Garrus like this. He was worried that Garrus would do something stupid and end his life. 

He was about to leave, but stopped when a low, menacing growl left Garrus. Pallin stepped into the room and hesitated when he saw the C-Sec officer. He knew what Garrus wanted to do; it was written on his face. Pallin wasn’t sure if he should stop him or not. Garrus had just lost his mate. Though Pallin was sure it was more than that. If he was to go by how Garrus was acting, he would have said they were bonded mates. 

“Kaidan, leave him. There is nothing that can be done for him,” Pallin told him quietly.

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Tania floated, peace and warmth surrounding her. She felt secure, safe. At the moment there was nothing to worry about. The Reaper threat, her family, the politics - all of it gone. She knew she was dead. She felt the fire burning her lungs from lack of air. She felt the coldness envelope her. Then finally nothing - a thick darkness surrounded her, holding her close until her eyes slowly opened. 

She didn’t know where ‘here’ was, but she didn’t want to leave. This was where she wanted to stay always. Her heart throbbed and she knew she was missing someone… Garrus. Garrus was what was missing. God she wished she could see him, talk to him again; she wished that she didn’t have to leave him. 

She knew this would be very hard on him. It was breaking her heart and she was already dead. 

“I’m sorry Garrus…my mate,” she whispered. 

…she felt him near, she was with him…

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Garrus sat at his desk feeling like he just died. Tania was taken from him. He wanted to go and be with her, but that was impossible. He was a turian and she was human; they believed in different deities. 

Spirits, he didn’t want to be here. The pain was too great. He felt hollow and empty; just a shell of what he had been. He needed her.

Vaguely he remembered Kaidan coming into his office, but he hadn’t been _her_. Kaidan had been a foreign scent to him. He needed her scent - he needed his Mate. Slowly he rose to his feet, walking over to the window. His claw lightly scratched at the pane. _It would so easy to break it and…_

He raised his hand to do just that…

_I am sorry, Garrus…._

He swung around, expecting to see her there, but he was alone. It had been her; it was her voice. He knew that voice anywhere. He knew it had been her. He collapsed in his chair, his head cradled in his hands.    

His head snapped up when he felt _her_ presence. _She_ was here; he could feel her near, but all he saw was empty air. 

“Tania….” he whispered, his voice filled with hope, yet thick with the sadness that ate at him. 

_“I’ll always be with you, mate,”_ he heard her say. He bowed his head and wondered if he was going insane. Had he lost his mind? Did losing her push him to this? He didn’t know. 

He felt relief for the first time since learning of her death. The hollowness that held him slowly dissipated. He knew she was here with him; in fact, he was positive of it. 

He knew what she wanted - she wanted him to live. _For her_. He would try his best to live for her.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Tania was where she belonged; this was where she wanted to stay. She could feel her mate by her side. She couldn’t see him, but knew he was here with her. Nothing would take her from this spot, _nothing_.  


	2. Chapter 2

**I owe a huge thank you to my best friend and sister, Jen. You did amazing job with this chapter, I couldn’t ask for a better beta, especially with that mishap happened.  I owe you big for taking the time and redoing it.**

**For all of your reviewers, man you guys made my last few days totally awesome. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the reviews.**

**Well I promised that I was going to put a twist in things and here is the beginning of it. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Well leave a review and let me know what you think.**

A woman with dark hair stood in front of a large window looking over the dark void of space. She listened as her boss took another drag from his cigarette. This meeting was inevitable, and she dreaded what he would have to say. She knew he was upset, and that scared her. He was powerful; too powerful to cross. She knew that her chances of remaining as the head of Project Lazarus were slim, given the recent rash of failures. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, his calm voice bringing chills to her skin. 

“We’ve done the tests. We’ve tried different procedures and all of them lead to the same conclusion. We cannot revive Shepard with her memories intact. Her biotics are more than enough to handle right now. If we bring her memories back, we will fry her brain. The strain will be too much and everything we have worked for will be gone,” she stated heatedly. 

“Is there no other way?” he asked, his voice hard and cold. “What if we took her biotics away instead?” he suggested. 

“That is not an option. Her biotics are a part of her, and we can’t remove them,” she told him. She could see that he didn’t believe her, but she knew she was right.  

“We hope that blocking her memories will be enough. Then they have a chance to resurface on their own once again, instead of vanishing entirely,” she said and sighed in frustration.

“Will she still be the same person?” he asked in a controlled voice. What had been a sound plan was turning into a nightmare and they still had yet to tell him why it was happening. Every time something went wrong, his people told him it was due to Shepard’s biotics. That didn’t tell him much. First they had to create a new implant especially for her; after the old one would no longer handle the amount of power she exhibited. Once it was implanted, his scientists had been in awe of how her biotics began healing her in the same way an asari’s would. Now those same biotics were causing problems with resurrecting her in the way he wanted. If someone didn’t get a handle on the issue soon, heads would roll. 

“We won’t know until she wakes,” was the quiet answer. Not what he wanted to hear. The Savior of the Citadel, the only individual that could save the galaxy from the Reapers,  may no longer be the same person. If her personality was based off of her training and she had no memory of that training, then all his money and time would have been for nothing. But if her personality was her own and not based on her military training, then there was still a chance to salvage her. 

“Though there is good news,” she murmured with slight hope in her voice. 

“What would that be?” he asked snidely. There hadn’t been any truly good news since they started this project. 

“There is a high chance that her muscle memories will still be there. She may not be conscious of it, but her body will know how to react in a battle situation,” she told him firmly. Well, she was right. If that was truly the case, it would be good news. 

“Is there any way, once this project is finished, to have her memories returned?” he asked her. Miranda Lawson was his best operative and she was failing him. 

“It would be the same as amnesia victims. Anything that may have meaning to her; whether sights, sounds or smell, could help her memory to return,” she explained. She hoped this meant that she was keeping her job. She hated letting him down. 

“Who was closest to her?” he asked, picking up her file once again. They both knew it by heart, but the records said nothing about a significant person in her life; even though there were rumors that she had been married. Most of her personal life had been classified. They were lucky to get the small amount they had. Every time their agents came close to finding something significant, they would end up dead or missing. So they only had her military background, and that was the same information that everyone had access to. 

He didn’t know who was stopping them, but whoever it was had power and knew how to use it. He wondered often who would protect Shepard this much. So with regards to her personal life, all they had were rumors. She was a lover of turians, she might have been married, and she was humanity’s most powerful biotic. Rumors - that was all. The biotic rumor had been proven, however, when two of their scientist’s died while working on her body. 

“We still don’t know,” Miranda replied. “Our latest agent called in, stating that he had something we would want; but he has since disappeared. We sent a search team to look for him, and we hope there will be some information on his body when we find it,” she stated tiredly. They both knew the chances of this were slim. Every missing agent they found had been stripped bare. They had been killed by a professional, though they were never able to determine an identity.

“Don’t send any more agents out,” he ordered. What was the point, if none would return alive?

Miranda nodded and left him there. She didn’t feel secure anymore. Her job and possibly her life were on the line. She thought of all she could do to save herself and could only come up with one plan that had a chance of success. She knew it would work, but she would have to wait until there were no people surrounding Shepard’s body. Then she would do what was necessary. She smiled grimly as she moved to Shepard’s side. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Valern looked at the latest datapad he had received from his contact. He grinned as he read that Cerberus’ newest operative was dead. Thane Krios had been doing a good job of late; too bad he was leaving. Now all the Council needed to do was figure out how to get Shepard back into their hands. He knew that wouldn’t be easy, but there was no way he was leaving her with the human terrorists. 

If he was looking at this properly, he knew he should leave her there and let her tear their operation apart. The Shepard he knew would do that in a heartbeat. Though, once she found out how far the Council had gone to discredit her, he wouldn’t blame her for staying with Cerberus. He knew she wasn’t going to give up on the Reaper threat, and that pleased him. They were a threat that he believed in, too. But neither of his fellow Councilors would listen to him, so they made Shepard a scape goat. He kept his silence, but refused to help them. The only reason he kept his silence was for Shepard. When he found out that Cerberus had her body and was trying to resurrect her, he did everything in his power to stay on the Council; even when he wanted to leave. 

Her death had hit him hard; so hard that he almost handed in his resignation. But an asari he had seen only once came to him, telling him that Garrus was missing and Shepard was coming back. Since then he played the game and did what was expected of him. He continued his campaign against humans, though that part wasn’t hard. In fact, it was actually too easy. He still didn’t trust humans and probably never would. The only human he trusted was Shepard. 

For the past two years he had gotten rid of agents, and covered up Shepard’s personal file. He also hid her marriage to Garrus so he would be safe when she returned. He kept up payments on her apartment, and anonymously helped her former teammates pay for renovations. 

With the agreement of the other Councilors, her Spectre status was still in place; even though she was in the hands of a terrorist organization. Now his only worry was Shepard’s husband. He had disappeared and no one knew where he was. He hoped that Garrus was still alive, though the odds of that got slimmer every day.

He leaned back in his chair, glancing over at this door when it opened and Thane Krios walked in. Valern was surprised to see the drell again. “What can I do for you?” he asked. 

“This is the last of the information the Cerberus agent had,” Thane answered, placing a datapad on the desk. 

“The operative?” he questioned brusquely. 

“Dead. Stripped of all material and electronics,” he stated without emotion. Valern didn’t understand how the man could live without emotion, but his eyes were always cold and dead. 

“How often have they tried to communicate with him?” he asked, avoiding those cold eyes. 

“Twice; after that, all communications ended,” he answered calmly. “This is my last job for you. I have other contracts to do.” 

“So noted. Thank you for your help in this matter,” Valern said and nodded in dismissal. 

“One other thing, Councilor. From the last transmission, the probability of Cerberus sending further agents is nil.” Thane bowed and quickly exited the office. 

Valern glanced down at the latest datapad. It contained nothing new, other than the note at the bottom. He glanced at the door the assassin walked through and smiled. He would definitely keep that option open. He knew Shepard would eventually need him.  

He turned back to his work now that he had some answers. His remaining concern was how much Cerberus would change Shepard with their resurrection, though he couldn’t allow himself to focus on that. He would know if she was a different person. As soon as he saw her, he would know. He just needed to make sure that she would come to see him once she had returned. Once he saw her, he could start planning how to save Shepard. Until that moment, his main priority was finding Garrus Vakarian. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Anderson looked down at the latest datapad the Turian Councilor handed him. He still couldn’t believe that he had joined the Council. Shepard had made the decision a few days after Sovereign was destroyed. 

Looking down at the datapad, he shook his head slowly. So the rumors were true. Shepard was in Cerberus’ care. He wondered how different she would be once they resurrected her. He hoped she was the same person, though he didn’t hold his breath; not with that particular organization pulling the strings.

Everything had gone to hell as soon as Shepard died. Her team split up, and her husband disappeared. It still amazed him that she had married a turian. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was. He was happy for her. He knew no human would have caught her attention. He grinned, remembering the look on Udina’s face when he found out. That was one of the best days of his life. What made it even better was that it was the Turian Councilor who informed him. That made everything perfect. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Mordin patched up another patient, his body aching. He’d been working non-stop for the past few days with barely any sleep. He glanced up when his assistant walked into the room with a datapad in his hand. Mordin thought it was another file on a patient; but when he took the datapad and saw the name at the top and the encryption used, he knew it was from someone else and the information contained within was of an extremely sensitive nature.

He decrypted it, reading it over quickly. He smirked as he read. What the person asked for was impossible. There was no way it would happen. He was shocked to learn that Shepard was being resurrected by Cerberus. They had wanted his expertise for quite a while and he always declined; none too gently on most occasions. They must have gotten the message, since they hadn’t sent any agents in several months. 

The favor being requested on the datapad piqued his curiosity. Unfortunately, the likelihood of it ever happening was quite small. It still interested him and a part wished that he would be given this unique opportunity presented to him. He watched his assistant closely before encrypting the datapad once more and placing it on his desk. It wouldn’t do for others to see the information he had received.    

He would use his contacts to find the turian that had been with Shepard when he first met her. It was the one favor he could do. He would send back a message once he had any information, though he wasn’t going to stop his work on the recent plague for anyone. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Three weeks after sending the message to Mordin Solis, Valern sat happily in his chair. The salarian had come through for him and found Garrus. Time to put his plan into motion. If everything worked out, they would have Shepard back with them soon. Though he knew it was wrong, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was a way to make Shepard his own, instead of giving her back to Garrus. 

He hadn’t seen any Cerberus agents sniffing around, so he would have to proceed delicately so they didn’t become suspicious. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

The Illusive Man looked at the latest dossier he had received on potential crew members for Shepard. This one piqued his interest. From what his agent said about this turian, he would be an asset to their cause. The individual known only as Archangel had many of the talents he was looking for. Information said he was a dead shot, excellent with electronics, and highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat. He had been holding his own against three different mercenary gangs on Omega. Oh yes, he would do nicely. They needed the best and he just found one out of many. 

His main concern was Shepard’s memory. He thought about trashing the project when he learned of the memory difficulties, but decided against it. He had spent too much money to give up everything on a possible flaw in Shepard’s character. His other problem was Miranda. He had placed her In charge of Project Lazarus and she had made one mistake after another since its inception. If this kept up, he would have to terminate her. She knew too much information about Cerberus to let her go, so the only other alternative was to kill her. He vowed to watch her closely and then decide her fate.

 

  


	3. Chapter 3

Her body ached. Deep within herself she could feel something growing, wanting out. She was suffering a headache that caused her eyes to burn and she had to close her eyes. She groaned, shifting her position to ease the ache in her body; to no avail. 

“Shepard, you need to get up!” a female voice ordered distantly. _Shepard? Who in the hell is Shepard?_ She moaned, sitting up on the bed. In the distance she could hear fighting; people crying out in pain and fear. Fear took control of her limbs, momentarily freezing her in place. Determination quickly replaced the terror, and her breathing returned to normal. _She had to be in that fight,_ her brain told her. 

“Good, now go to the locker and grab the armor and gun,” the voice ordered as she slid off of the hospital bed. She scowled as she heard the order. Hearing someone order her about brought anger to her for some odd reason. At the moment she was too confused to dwell on it. 

She put the armor on as quickly as her body would allow; fighting with the clasps and latches. There was something off about them. It was like they were in the wrong place. Her fingers knew what to do, but she couldn’t remember ever doing this before.  

She took the gun and looked at it oddly. There was something wrong with it. Her mind knew that; but once again, she couldn’t remember where she learned the information. She stood for a few minutes, trying to determine what was happening to her. No matter how hard she struggled, nothing would come. It was as if her brain was a blank slate. That annoyed her. It made no sense and she couldn’t figure out the why of it. She tried to remember what led her to be in this place; but that knowledge was also hidden from her.  

She moved through the room toward the doorway. “Shepard, pick up the clip. It’s the only way the gun will fire,” the female explained. There was that voice again - ordering her around. Who was that? Why was she being commanded about? Something about it felt wrong. Her gut told her this wasn’t right. 

She snatched up the clip from its deceased owner. She found it odd that touching a dead body hadn’t bothered her. It was as if it was a normal occurrence. She glanced at the clip and loaded it into the only available spot she could find. Her hand gripped the gun tightly before relaxing, as if it knew what to do; even if she didn’t.  

She scanned the area with gun in hand. It felt comforting there. She peeked around the corner, checking out the area. The hallway was clear, but through a window not far away she saw _machines_? Fighting? She stared at them for a moment and gasped. Her hands burned, itching to move. She looked down at them and they glowed a fiery blue. She stared in wonder as she moved one of her hands in front of her face. _Safe_ was her first thought when she saw the blue glow. _Death, danger…_ those words rushed through her mind, as well. But above all the others was one she knew to be important - _BIOTICS._

She slipped the gun into a holster at her side. Something told her she wouldn’t need it now. She felt an odd sensation in her body, as if something was slowly growing within her. It alarmed her at first, but still felt familiar. She was concerned with the ferocity with which the feeling grew. Whatever it was, it was trying to find a way out. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on that feeling. She could see it behind her eyes; a blue fire building and  growing.  One word came into her mind - power. 

She knew she had a great deal of power at her disposal, but at the moment it was of no use to her. Try as she might, she couldn’t figure out how to release the energy within her. She ignored the feeling and trotted quickly down the hall, trying to avoid the window and the robots moving around behind it. 

She scowled as she heard the voice once more. Now she wanted her to use a grenade launcher against the mechs that were coming her way. She wasn’t going to argue, but when she met this woman - _if_ she ever met this woman – she would give her a piece of her mind for presuming to give her orders. 

She moved through the halls, arriving at a steel door. It slid open in front of her. Inside, she saw two mechs crawling slowly across the floor. Energy surged through her hand, lifting them off the ground. The action greatly startled her. She held the mechs up in the air and looked over her shoulder, annoyed when _someone_ wouldn’t shoot them for her. _No one was there…who was she expecting?_ Disappointment, pain and emptiness lanced through her, and she dropped the machines to the floor. It wasn’t a pain of her limbs, but of her heart; someone was missing. Someone should have been here with her. The strength of the emotions nearly doubled her over. A tear slipped down her cheek. She reached up, catching the drop in wonder. _Who is she missing that could bring her to tears?_ she wondered, caught off guard by the pain in her chest.  

A burning anger welled up inside of her. As her rage grew, she glared at the mechs that were now crawling toward her. She shot her hand forward, slamming them against the wall with ease. The emptiness built, leaving her a hollow shell. The pain she felt seemed to vanish. The burning anger and emptiness were too consuming to allow anything else inside.   

She stormed through the halls, ignoring the woman’s voice. She didn’t give a fuck anymore. Someone, somewhere, took something away from her that meant more to her than her own life. She couldn’t remember anything; she had nothing left, other than these feelings. If this was all that remained of who she was, she swore to hold them close and keep them burning. They were too strong to do anything else.  

She moved up the stairs and spotted a human male crouched low behind a reinforced barrier; avoiding shots from some mechs on the other side of the room. She sneered as she watched him. He should be standing up and facing them. They weren’t that powerful. She lifted her hands, slamming them into each other until they sparked and fell. 

“Shepard?” the man said, looking at her in shock. 

“Is that my name?” _I guess that bitch was talking to me,_ she sneered. Her sneer turned into a cold smile as more mechs entered the room. 

“Let me know if you want me to use my biotics,” he told her. It came close to an order for her. 

“Why would I want your biotics when I’m more powerful than you?” she asked scathingly. 

He narrowed his eyes, and she wished he would try something. She didn’t want to be here. Everything she knew was gone; it was all blank. These emotions consuming her; she knew they weren’t natural for her. She didn’t know who she was anymore. All she knew was emptiness, filled with hate and anger. He would be doing her a favor by putting a bullet in her head. She wished he would - silently she _prayed_ he would. Someone close to her had been taken away, and she wanted the pain to end. 

_Claws lightly tracing skin. Sharp teeth breaking skin…_ for one moment, she felt happy, safe, and content. Then, as quickly as the memory came, it slipped away. Pain and agony lanced through her. She knew then that whoever it was that she was missing so much was dead. Silently she pleaded with the human standing before her - _please kill me…_

Jacob wasn’t sure what to think. He had been informed that the old Shepard had been nice; a natural diplomat. The one that stood in front of him was a bitch. He watched as another squad of mechs came through the doors. She slammed them into each other once again. A sneering smile covered her face as she looked at him. He couldn’t say a word. His military training was ingrained in him and she was a commanding officer. 

“So, are you going to stay cowering on the floor or are we leaving?” she asked snidely as she walked away from him. _This man doesn’t have it in him to kill me,_ she thought angrily. 

He watched as the doors closed behind her, his mouth hanging open. Quickly he rose to his feet and followed her. He didn’t know what happened to the project, but something obviously went wrong. He knew it would be interesting if Miranda still lived. He could just imagine the battle of wills those two would have. In the back of his mind, he knew that crossing this Shepard would bring nothing but pain. 

She moved through the halls with confidence, searching every room they found. She listened closely to every terminal that had information about her current situation. The man’s worry rose as he watched her; the more she heard, the blacker her mood became.

 _They raised me from the dead, took me away from my love and didn’t bring him back with me. To top it all off, they took my memories so that I can’t even remember him._ That one thought brought her unbearable pain. But it also brought a vengeful anger to her heart that she readily embraced. 

The soldier froze as Shepard turned and stood in front of him; a vicious snarl on her face. He swallowed thickly as he watched her eyes narrow cruelly. “So, you fucking assholes brought me back from the dead?” she asked lethally. 

“Yes,” he answered after swallowing nervously a few times. 

She grinned menacingly. “It looks like I have some debts to repay.” Without another word, she turned around and walked off; not caring if he came along. He stared at her retreating form worriedly; he wasn’t sure if he should consider her statement a threat or not. He knew once he got aboard the ship, he would be sleeping with one eye open for the duration of the mission. 

Shepard. That was her name, or so they keep telling her. So, she finally had a name. Now why the fuck did they bring her back from the dead and leave her empty? Why did they take everything from her? The black void in her chest was consuming her and at the moment she didn’t care. Anything, including death, had to be better than this. And these people - they did this to her and they were going to pay! 

She moved through some doors and stopped dead. A man sat on the floor before her, his leg seriously injured. For a split second she felt remorse and then she slapped that emotion away. There was no place for those emotions. Remorse would only get in the way if she wanted to escape from these people. _These people took your life away. They took your memories. Don’t be nice to them,_ she reminded herself. 

She scowled down at the man as he looked at her with hope in his eyes. “Shepard, grab me some medigel from that case,” he said and pointed frantically to a nearby medical station. 

“If you want it, crawl for it,” she sneered, walking away; stopping only when some crates blocked her way. With a shake of her head she shot her biotics at them, laughing as they collapsed. Anyone hearing that laugh would know that there was something wrong with its owner. Something had gone horribly wrong with the project. The injured man watched her walk away, unsure what to make of this new turn of events. 

Shepard marched through the halls with determination. There had to be a way off this ship and she planned on getting there before either of those idiots caught up. She came to a staircase and hesitated. Her brain registered immediate danger and she moved slowly down the stairs, watching the area carefully.

She made it more than a couple of steps onto the stairs and more mechs popped up in front of her. Her actions were automatic. She threw two into the air. She spread her fingers wide toward the final machine and its head exploded. She looked at that one in wonder.

With a shake of her head, she quickly moved up the stairs and headed for a set of closed doors. Her heart raced as she heard a noise behind her. She knew that sound now. _Stupid, stupid move; allowing myself to become sidetracked,_ she berated herself. 

She swung around abruptly to find a group of mechs in a nearby doorway. They spotted her and were firing. She was out in the open and didn’t stand a chance. She smiled peacefully, waiting for the killing blow; but it never came. The biotics that were within her flared to life, and she cried out as she felt her body burning. The first shot rang out; hitting, but not damaging her. A second shot was fired and she was already in cover before she had a chance to realize it. Her body had taken over and her mind had closed down. 

She raised her hands, shoved them forward and watched the mechs shoot back into the room from which they had appeared. She moved quickly toward them, her body burning brighter with each step. What should have scared her instead felt soothing and welcoming. 

Jacob entered the room with Wilson. He saw Shepard and his jaw dropped, though he shouldn’t have been shocked. Shepard was the soldier who destroyed Saren. She was a one-man army right now; her body was a blue flame. Dark energy encompassed her like an asari. She moved quickly and with agile grace, bullets grazing off her biotic shield. He watched as she demolished the group of mechs without a problem. 

Shepard knew the men were in the room with her, she could see their energy. She didn’t understand what that meant, but the first guy she met had a colored glow surrounding his body. She ignored them and headed back for the closed door, hoping that there was a shuttle behind it. 

The two men moved up next to her, watching her warily as she scowled at them. It looked like she had no choice but to be with them on the shuttle. She wasn’t worried; if they pushed her too far, she’d shove them out of the airlock into space….

_Floating, weightless, her body burning, fighting for breath, coldness holding her close…._

The flash was gone as fast as it had come. It made no sense to her and left her a little disoriented. She ignored the two men as she tried to wipe those thoughts from her mind. The man that had been injured moved forward, preparing to hack the panel. She smirked to herself at her stupidity; she hadn’t even gotten his name. Oh well, it’s not as if it actually mattered. 

She stood impatiently as the doors opened. Behind it was a woman with black flowing hair and a gun in her hand. The injured man seemed surprised to see the new arrival. Before he time to speak, she raised the gun and shot him in the head. Shepard moved quickly as the body fell to the ground. She used the energy still surrounding her, shoving the woman up against the wall. In seconds, she had one hand at the woman’s throat while gathering more energy into the other. 

“What the hell, Miranda, why did you do that?” the man behind her yelled, outrage filling his voice. 

Miranda struggled to breathe as she looked at Shepard; someone she’d been working to resurrect for the past two years. With everything they knew about her, Miranda never would have expected this behavior. She saw Shepard’s expression darken and struggled to speak. 

“He was going to kill you,” she whispered hoarsely. 

Shepard’s eyes widened when she heard the voice. It was the same voice that had been on a lot of the computers she passed. It was also the voice giving her orders; the same person who had brought her back to life and taken her memories. That angered her more than anything else and she didn’t know why. It was like this woman had betrayed her; taken something important from her and now she was going to pay. 

She leaned close to the woman, her mouth brushing against her ear. “Now I know where retribution should begin,” she said softly; her voice full of menace, anger and hate. 

She let the female go and walked quickly toward the nearby shuttle. 

Jacob had seen the exchange and didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t sure about climbing aboard that shuttle with Shepard. She wasn’t what he expected and that scared him. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Shepard watched out the window as they left the station. She leaned her head against the window, fully aware of the two Cerberus agents. Their names were Jacob and Miranda, and their boss wanted Shepard back from the dead. But why did he want that? She knew Miranda had the answers, but she wasn’t saying anything. 

“Shepard, we need to ask you some questions,” Miranda stated brusquely. 

“Whatever…” she mumbled.

“What year were you born?” Miranda asked, watching her closely. 

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Shepard hissed. 

“What is your full name?” she asked. 

“Why don’t we quit with the fucking twenty questions! You already know I don’t have my memory. I heard your reports; you took them from me,” she snarled, glaring murderously at the woman. 

“It was the only way to bring you back,” Miranda told her, pain flashing briefly in her eyes. 

“Bring me back?” Shepard scoffed. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m still dead. You took everything from me - my memories, my identity. For that you’ll pay before I die again.” 

Miranda moved further back in her chair, genuine fear flowing through her body. This wasn’t the woman that was supposed to come back. This person was vengeful and full of hate. 

                                                                                                ~oooooo~

Shepard paced the floor anxiously. She was about to meet the man behind all of her pain. She walked into a small room and stepped onto a pad. A holo image of a man sitting in a chair appeared before her. She scowled at him as he smoked a cigarette and took a sip of his drink before speaking to her.

“Ah, Shepard, it’s good to see you,” he said politely. 

“So why the fuck did you have your lackeys bring me back without my memories? Is this your way to make sure you can warp me into what you want?” she asked scathingly. 

“No, you were supposed to come back with your memories. You were supposed to be exactly as you were, but some problems arose,” he stated, ignoring her tone of voice. “Now as for why we brought you back. Several human colonies have been abducted and we believe the Reapers have a part to play in their disappearances.” 

“Why the fuck should I care? It was humans that took my memories. It was humans that left me with nothing,” she sneered. 

He sighed heavily. He had been afraid this would happen. This is what he wanted to avoid. Damn Miranda! She should have kept her memories and got rid of her biotics, but she had done this without talking to him first. Dealing with Shepard now was going to be tricky. He had no illusions that he could sway her to side with Cerberus. She was too strong willed for those types of tactics. 

“Did my operative tell you that your memories may return?” he asked calmly. 

“No, she left that part out. You better hope they return,” she warned coldly. He stared at her for a moment, weighing what he was about to do; wondering if it would help persuade her to work for them. 

“I’ll make a deal with you. Look at the most recent colony to be abducted and I’ll give you what information we have about your past,” he murmured. 

“I lost my memory, not my brain. I can find out about myself on my own,” she smirked, shaking her head at his stupidity. “You want to deal, here it is. Obviously you have money and money is power. Your two operatives fucked me over, and they obviously did it on your order. When I do finally take my revenge, you will be first on my list. So from now on, whatever I do to your two operatives is my right. You turn a blind eye and I’ll leave you the fuck alone,” she smirked. 

His eyes widened; a part of him truly worried. He wondered how much she had truly changed. From all reports, this didn’t sound like the Shepard they were supposed to bring back. If that was so, then Miranda had failed him; and Jacob was a loose end as it was. So he was losing nothing and he would be safe from her; at least for now. He was sure that as soon as she regained her memory, she would be coming for him. 

“Done, but you need to check out that planet,” he stated firmly. 

“Fine, I’ll check out that fucking planet if it means I get to kill those two,” she muttered. A slow grin appeared on her face now that she could do as she chose with the Illusive Man’s hirelings. She owed the female big time and planned on making sure she received what was coming to her. 

“Since you are being cooperative, I’ll give you a few details about your past,” he paused, seeing if he had piqued her interest at all. She raised a brow, giving him a curious look; but he could see the irritation in her eyes, as well. “You are Commander Tania Shepard. You were in command of the SSV Normandy, and the first human Spectre. You were killed in action, when an unknown vessel attacked your ship. Our preliminary reports indicate that the individuals that destroyed your vessel and killed you are the same ones that are abducting humans. However, we cannot be positive of it, at this time.” 

She smiled coldly at that news. Now she really wanted to meet these things. She would do this mission and see where it led. After that, she would go hunting for them. She was positive that they were the ones who killed the love she now mourned. Once she confronted them, she could die in peace. Until then, she would find other outlets for her anger; starting with the Illusive Man’s precious Cerberus agents.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you Jen, you did awesome correcting this chapter. I owe you big for putting up with my bitching, uncertainty with this chapter.**

**Thank you all who has reviewed this story, you support means the world to me. Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think.**

Garrus sat on the floor with his back propped up against the wall. Six months ago things had started falling apart for him. He didn’t feel Tania’s presence anymore. He was betrayed and his team killed. Now he was being hunted by three different gangs on Omega. He didn’t know what else could go wrong; but he needed to be careful, just in case. Tania had always taught him to prepare for the worst. That way when it did happen you weren’t shocked; and if it didn’t happen, then you could be pleasantly surprised.  

He knew he was going to die soon, but he was going to fight until the end and he wasn’t going to make it easy for his enemies. If he did, Tania would be so disappointed in him. He fought to stay alive, for her. He knew she would want that. 

There was another reason to stay alive, if what the salarian who replaced Tania’s implant said was true. Cerberus had her body and they were bringing her back. That alone almost made him smile - something he hadn’t done since the last time he had talked to Tania - the day she died. Not even three hours after she cut their connection she was gone. He knew that now, thanks to Alenko. For the first year Kaidan and Valern had been there for him, forcing him to live. Kaidan had lived with him in Tania’s apartment for a while, until Garrus got his shit together and stopped trying to find new ways to be with his dead wife. She may have been with him in spirit, but he had wanted to be with her so badly that taking his life had seemed the only option.  

Garrus smirked as his thoughts wandered to the new information he had. Cerberus was bringing Tania back. He chuckled at the thought. That particular organization should be very afraid. Tania hated Cerberus with a passion. They had cleaned out a lot of their secret facilities. He knew she would level the building with everyone inside.

He closed his eyes for a moment, a wistful smile on his face. His mate was alive and if he managed to make it out of his most recent mess, he would go searching for her. That thought alone gave him the will to fight and stay alive. He needed his mate; needed to hear her voice, have her scent surround him, and feel her loving, tender touch. He needed her by his side - where she belonged. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard and the two Cerberus lackeys stepped off the shuttle. She glared at them when they moved beside her. She thought about killing them now and letting this abandoned planet be their graveyard, but decided to bide her time. That would be too easy. She didn’t want them to expect it so she could see the betrayal and fear on their faces. Then they would understand what she was going through. 

Moving through the place was easy enough. The enemies they had faced so far were more of a pain in the ass than an actual danger. 

She grinned as her biotics flared once more. Since she’s hadn’t been using them for the past few days, her hands were a constant blue glow. At first she had been afraid, but now she enjoyed it; especially when she touched the two lackeys. Miranda had screamed in pain when her hand brushed against her. Jacob avoided her touch and when she came too near, he stumbled back a few steps. It was actually fun to watch them squirm. 

They walked through another set of door and encountered their first group of living beings. They wore body suits and masks, and no skin showed. Shepard found that odd. She tried searching her mind for a reason; but it was blank, as she expected. She hesitated when one of them stiffened and gasped after catching sight of her. Shepard glanced at the person from a moment before turning her attention to the one behind her. He had a gun pointed at her and Shepard felt her anger soar.  

Shepard reached out her hand, using her biotics to yank the person brutally toward her. The one female that had been shocked to see her cried out. “Shepard, no….” was all she managed to say before her companion dropped to the floor. Shepard had taken the gun and used her biotics to shove him roughly to the floor. She didn’t care now. The guy would learn and she had the gun. 

“Shepard, how could you?” the woman asked, her tone a mixture of anger and terror. 

“Who the hell are you?” Shepard hissed, not impressed that the woman was being so familiar. 

“Shepard, what happened to you?” the woman asked softly, Shepard detected a hint of betrayal, but shrugged it off. She couldn’t care, so she didn’t.  

“I got fucked over by Cerberus. From the way you’re talking to me, I’m guessing you know me,” Shepard commented. She didn’t wait for the female to answer. “The person you knew is dead. It’s best that you remember that,” she bit out coldly, looking at the woman disdainfully.

Tali stood there, too shocked to say anything. She stood in front of someone that looked like her friend, but _wasn’t_ her friend. This was a stranger. It hurt to hear Shepard talk to her like that. When she heard that Shepard died, she had cried for days. Now Shepard was standing before her, and her hopes bloomed; until she saw how she treated one of her people. 

This Shepard was cold, brutal and angry. Tali hoped Garrus wouldn’t meet her. She didn’t want Garrus to be crushed by this woman. If he knew that his wife was acting like this, it would kill something inside of him. This wasn’t Shepard; this was something else in Shepard’s body. 

She glanced at the two humans that were with Shepard, and saw that they wore the Cerberus logo on their clothes. What shocked her most was the fear she saw in their eyes when they looked at Shepard. That threw her off. She thought of what Shepard had said, that ‘she got fucked over by Cerberus’, but here she was with two of them. It didn’t make sense. 

“Did any of the colonists survive?” the Cerberus woman asked. 

“No, not that we know of. We are trying to get to one of our people. He’s locked himself in a bunker on the other side of the settlement. He’s the only survivor of which we are aware,” Tali explained, glaring at the woman. She would look to Shepard for help; tell her what happened and how these people couldn’t be trusted, but she knew that was useless now.  

“So, why haven’t you retrieved him yet?” Shepard asked, bored. “Cowards?” she asked mockingly. 

“I’m not a coward. The real Shepard would know that. My name is Tali,” she bit out angrily. 

Shepard hesitated as a wave of dizziness rushed over her. She swayed in place. Flashes of images came to her so quickly that she couldn’t see them properly. One image was clear, however - this woman sat a table, laughing… As quickly as the vision came, it vanished once again. Shepard shook her head, trying to clear her dazed mind. 

“Tali….” Shepard whispered and then stopped. Saying her name had brought back long-lost feelings. She wanted to smile; she felt trust when she said her name. Shepard shook her head, trying to shake those emotions. “What’s stopping you from getting to him?” she asked, and she couldn’t keep the concern from her voice, even when she tried. 

Tali stopped and smiled for a brief moment. She had seen the old Shepard peeking out. “He activated the security droids and we can’t get near him,” she explained to the Shepard she once knew and that she was sure still existed, beneath the bitterness and hate. For a brief moment, she saw that Shepard - she knew she had. 

“Fine, I’ll take care of it,” Shepard muttered, her face showing the disgust she felt. Tali watched as the old Shepard disappeared and the cruel facsimile returned. 

“We’ll create a distraction so you can get closer,” Tali offered. She was doing this for her crew mate, not this Shepard. 

“Fine, do whatever you want. Just don’t get in my way,” Shepard sneered. She turned to the Cerberus agents beside her. “Let’s hope the two of you don’t die. It’ll take all the fun out of my plans,” she murmured, reaching out to Miranda with a glowing hand. “Remember what the Illusive Man told you,” she said and grinned evilly. 

Miranda flinched, hiding the searing pain that lanced through her at Shepard’s touch. She tried to hold her fear at bay. She had received a message from the Illusive Man stating that neither her nor Jacob were under his protection anymore. The intel she was supposed to send him was no longer necessary. Now she was thankful that she had already planned for this possibility. All she needed to do was retrieve the device in the labs and Shepard wouldn’t be able to harm her. But at the moment she was wondering if she would even make it back to the labs.

Shepard took lead, moving them through buildings until they were on the far side of the settlement; where the missing quarian was supposedly hiding. Miranda had finally told her what race these people were, but that was all she got. She wouldn’t say who Tali was or how she knew her. It didn’t matter anyway; Tali was already becoming a distant memory - no one of importance. 

They came to a clearing and took cover by some doors. Tali opened the doors for them. Shepard watched as the quarians were decimated. It didn’t bother her to see them fall. They were obviously too weak to protect themselves, so they were of no use to her.

She didn’t go into hiding as Jacob and Miranda had; instead she allowed her biotics to rush over her. She grinned as she felt its warmth embrace her. Shepard raised her hands as a YMIR Mech made its way toward them. She spread her fingers as she had with the smaller ones, but her attack didn’t work with this one. Its body didn’t explode. Her failure disconcerted her for a moment. She made a pushing motion with her hands, shoving her biotics at the mech. She watched as it swayed, but stayed upright. She didn’t know what to do; she couldn’t remember going against something like this before. 

_A fist thrown, smashing through metal and hardened skin. Hissing and gurgling reaching her ears. She grabbed something soft and removed her hand…._ Another memory came and ended abruptly. 

She ran to the nearest crate, using it as leverage to jump up onto the mech’s back. She balled her glowing hand into a fist and hit the mech with all of her strength. She thrust her hand forward, punching through the thick metal, gasping as it cut her skin. She ignored the pain as she felt inside the machine, grabbing groups of wires and circuits. Sparks flew from its casing and it collapsed to the ground. Shepard jumped off before it hit the concrete.

Miranda thought about telling her to run, but decided to keep her mouth shut. Her experiment hadn’t gone the way it was supposed to. They were to bring Shepard back the way she had been before her death. From the information she had, this woman was not Shepard. Even the quarian knew the truth, judging by the look on her face. Documents said that Tali had served aboard the old Normandy, so she would know if there was a difference.  She watched as the mech exploded right behind Shepard. She was well within the explosion zone and should have been seriously injured or killed, but nothing happened. Shepard’s biotics flared around her body, enveloping her in a blue glow, and she walked toward them unscathed. 

Shepard moved to a nearby locked building. She was positive that the quarian was inside. She looked at the locked door and was about to issue an order, but stopped. He wasn’t here. That mystery person she always thought was right behind her wasn’t there. With an annoyed sigh, she started hacking the doors. It annoyed her even more that she was struggling with her hacking attempt. After several tries, she smirked as the doors blinked green and she entered. 

Her eyes narrowed as she saw a quarian seated before a series of computer monitors, muttering to himself. He didn’t give any indication that he was aware of their presence. “He looks out of it,” Jacob stated. She had to agree with that statement. Nothing the quarian was muttering made any sense. 

Shepard pulled her gun and shot one of the bottom monitors to get his attention. She chuckled and shook her head as he yelped. Finally he turned to them in alarm, but she ignored him. What she saw on the monitor held her attention. On it was a picture of some sort of pod. The quarian played the screen for them and Shepard’s gut clenched. 

“The Collectors,” Miranda murmured. 

“You know what these things are?” Shepard asked coldly. She wondered if Miranda had always known and was playing a game or if she just figured it out. 

“Yeah. They aren’t seen often in this part of space. Why do they want so many humans?” Miranda muttered. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooooo~

The Illusive Man sat in his chair, waiting for the pilot to show up. This would be the first time he would talk to him in person. But this man knew the old Shepard and he needed the old Shepard back. He hoped that this pilot, “Joker”, would be able to help him. What he was about to do was not normal protocol for him. 

He stared at the pilot’s holo image, and the Illusive Man couldn’t help the smirk as he watched Joker’s eyes widen. “I called you here for a reason. We gave you a job, and you know that we brought Shepard back. But there is a problem. The Shepard you knew has lost her memory and is gone, and we need her back. It is your job to get her memory back,” he stated coolly.

“What makes you think I can do that?” Joker asked with a raised brow. In his mind he tried to read between the lines. He was sure there was more going on than what this man was saying. He wondered if this was Cerberus’ way of making sure that Shepard didn’t wipe them out. He chuckled to himself. If they think they will stop Shepard from trying to take them out, they had another thing coming.  

“You know her. The procedure wasn’t fully successful and she has no memory of who she once was. For this job to succeed, we need the old Shepard. We need anyone she may have loved,” the Illusive Man stated, knowing he was taking a gamble. He was positive that the rumors were true, but there was no proof of it. If they could get her loved one under their control, then they didn’t need to worry about any threat Shepard might become. They could use that loved one to their advantage.  

“Loved one?” Joker scoffed, and then chuckled. He was going to lie through his teeth. It was something he had become very good at since the Turian Councilor warned them that Shepard’s enemies would go after Garrus to get to her. So here he was, protecting that turian for Shepard. He respected the commander too much to turn against her, no matter how sweet the offer.  

“Are you telling me you don’t know?” the Illusive Man asked, watching the pilot closely for signs of deceit. He found none.

“Shepard didn’t have loved ones, she had lovers. Quite a few of them,” Joker muttered, shrugging. “I didn’t make a habit of prying into her personal life.” Cerberus - he couldn’t believe he was working for them now. But they were going to allow him to fly, and he would get to be with Shepard again.  

The Illusive Man scowled, cutting off communications. _So the rumors had been a lie,_ he thought tiredly _._ Looks like he would have to find a different way to keep her under control and help her to regain her memories.  

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Valern checked his messages and smirked. Someone was using Shepard’s old account so they were able to hide themselves. He knew who it was; there was only one person that would use it. He remembered that the first time the person used the account, he’d been pissed. But that changed when the pilot told him about the Citadel’s history. He read the message quickly and smiled. Shepard was alive and on her first mission. She would have a ship soon. He would wait a few days and then send her a message. He needed to get her back to the Citadel. He needed to see her before Garrus did. 

If she came to him, he could have her stay a few days; try and sway things his way before she saw Garrus. But he knew that would be hard to do. Tania loved Garrus and it would take more than a prayer to the spirits for things to work in his favor. That wasn’t going to stop him from making her his mate, however. Garrus wasn’t going to have her this time.

Valern knew he made a fatal mistake by arranging for Cerberus to find Garrus. He knew that they were looking for recruits for a mission and it had to do with Shepard. If he had been thinking clearly, he would have never allowed that information to slip through his fingers. Now the chances were high that Shepard might attempt to recruit her husband before coming to him. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Shepard had just finished her meeting with the Illusive Man. Jeff Moreau, also known as Joker, stood beside her as the lights to the cargo bay came on; showing a large ship berthed there. 

“So, you are saying you knew me before I died?” she asked him while they watched the ship through the window. She wanted to be bitch to everyone, and keep them away from her; but for some odd reason she couldn’t do it with him. The fact that she couldn’t stay distant from this man really pissed her off; and it helped her hold the anger close to her heart so she could avoid the other less constructive feelings that threatened to overwhelm her. 

“I was the pilot of the Normandy,” he answered. Joker glanced at her, sadness hitting him hard. She didn’t remember anything, and that worried him. The person standing next to him wasn’t the Shepard he knew. This was a stranger. She looked like Shepard and sounded like her; but she didn’t move like her. She didn’t hold herself like the commander he remembered. This Shepard didn’t have the grace the other Shepard did, or the commanding presence; nor did she have enough confidence to pass off as Commander Tania Shepard-Vakarian. This Shepard had a cold edge to her, something very close to hate. It was his experience that people like that were dangerous; and dangerous people shouldn’t be in command of a suicide mission. 

He watched her walk away. For a year now he had been waiting for this moment; when he would see his commander alive. Now disappointment weighed heavily on him. Cerberus had messed up and brought back someone else. He knew Garrus was going to shit if he ever saw Shepard. He hoped the turian would be able to bring back the other Shepard. Maybe when she got her memories back, things would be different.  

Joker glanced down at the necklace in his hand. The same one Shepard had thrown to him just before she was spaced. He had tried giving it to Garrus once, but almost lost his life in the process. So he kept it close to him. It never left his person. When he once again met the old Shepard, he would give it to her; but not until then. This Shepard didn’t deserve it. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard walked onboard her new ship. She had to admit that she was impressed. As far as she could tell this ship was state of the art. She glanced toward the cockpit where Jeff Moreau sat. He was looking over the panel spread in front of him. 

She moved down the aisle, looking at the crew that manned the ship. They had a full complement that she could see. Her eyes snapped to the center of the room, where most of the people were working. A large holo of the galaxy could be seen, but there was something wrong. She moved forward slowly, stopping at one particular terminal. 

Joker watched as she moved. He smirked as she stopped where Pressley’s terminal was in the old Normandy. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her as she lightly touched the console; her gaze far away. He watched as she moved from there and started moving to where the stairs would have been. He knew it - she was starting to remember. _Maybe there was hope yet,_ he thought, though he wasn’t going to hold his breath. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard’s gut was screaming at her that this was wrong; too many things were different. She stared at a nearby wall. Something was missing from it, but she couldn’t quite place what it was. She walked back toward Joker, wanting to ask him about it. She didn’t really care if he thought she was insane. She needed answers and he had already admitted that he knew her from before. 

She almost made it to him when she was stopped by Miranda and Jacob. “Shepard, we have two dossiers that we should do first, before anything else. One is Professor Mordin Solis. We will need his help to fight the Collectors. The other is Archangel. He would be beneficial to the team as he is known to be a dead shot,” Miranda explained. 

“You see that is where you are wrong, Operative Lawson. The Illusive Man already said I was in command of this ship, so that means that what I say goes,” Tania said with a cold smile. She watched Miss Lawson’s features contort into angry lines. Tania didn’t care. She hoped the woman would push her luck. “If you don’t like it, there is the airlock. Just remember to hold your breath when you exit,” Shepard smiled sweetly as Miranda scowled at her. 

Shepard turned to Jacob, waiting for him to comment; but he stood at attention, not meeting her eyes. She raised a brow, curious as to why he wasn’t defending Miranda. 

She watched Miranda stalk off. Jacob stayed for a moment and saluted before leaving. She turned back to Joker, shocked to see him smirking. “Something funny?” she asked with a raised brow.

“Nah, you reminded me of someone I knew,” he answered. Joker quietly smiled to himself as he watched Shepard. For a moment, she reminded him of the Shepard he knew. Though he would never tell her that; at least not now.

Shepard quirked a brow and shrugged. She wasn’t going to press for the information. It wasn’t worth it. She didn’t want to make friends. She just wanted to get this mission done so she could finish her personal mission. Then she could rest…

She made her way toward the elevator that she saw earlier, but was stopped by an annoyingly bubbly female. Shepard held back, rolling her eyes as the woman chattered away. She was sure of it now - Cerberus brought her back to drive her slowly insane. First they took her memories, then they make her work with the one person that took her memories, and now they give her this bubbly person. Yep, Cerberus’ intentions were to drive her insane. 

“What is your position on this ship?” Shepard asked, cutting her off before she got a headache. 

“Well, I look after your messages. I am also the ship’s councilor and will keep you informed of anything you need to know,” she explained. 

“Is there anyone else on this ship I should know about?” Shepard asked, leery of what the answer would be. 

Kelly watched the commander for a few moments. She saw the irritation on her face, but ignored it. She had been informed that the commander had no memory. “There is Dr. Chakwas. She served with you before. And there is also EDI,” Kelly answered, watching closely for any change in Shepard’s demeanor. She found nothing.

“EDI?” Shepard said and looked at her curiously.

Shepard’s head snapped around when she heard a voice behind her. A holo image appeared on a nearby pedestal. “An AI?” she asked, her eyes wide. She hadn’t been expecting that and wasn’t sure how she felt about it. That feeling was back, reminding her of a warning. She wished she had her memories, but that wasn’t to be. She smirked at that thought, remembering that she had some payments to dish out during this voyage. 

“Oh and you have some messages waiting for you. You can look at them from your terminal here or in your room on the fourth floor,” Kelly told her. Shepard nodded absently as she went over to the terminal. 

She scanned over the messages. Some of them were dossiers, but there was one that she was shocked to receive. It was from the Turian Councilor, notifying her that she was needed on the Citadel. The message was marked as a priority. 

She moved over to Joker. “Head to the Citadel. The Turian Councilor wishes to see me,” she muttered. 

“Didn’t take him long,” Joker murmured as Shepard walked away.

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Miranda thumbed the small device she retrieved from its hiding place in the research lab. She knew no one would give it a second glance among the lab equipment, but anywhere else it would have been questioned. With this device in her hand, she felt safe for the first time since meeting up with this new Shepard. 

She knew if the Illusive Man or anyone else found out, she would be dead. But with this, she didn’t have to worry about Shepard killing her. She wouldn’t be able to. 

A cold smile crossed her face. Shepard thought she was in charge, but she was in for a shock. Miranda was the one in control of this ship - not her.

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Shepard moved round her spacious room, her attention always drawn to the large aquarium. It was empty of life, and it reminded her of herself. She felt like she was looking at herself when she stared at the empty water. Having her own ship, or having someone from her past onboard made no difference; she still felt hollow. The rage that had filled her in the beginning was still there, but it wasn’t overriding anymore. That emptiness the rage had filled was back and growing quickly. 

She sat on her bed and buried her head in her hands. She had walked this ship and nothing on it was familiar; everything was off. Where there weren’t supposed to be doors, there were. Where stairs were supposed to be, they weren’t. How she knew this she wasn’t sure, but it was true. Her brain was screaming at her that it was all wrong. Even she felt wrong here, like she didn’t belong; yet she was supposed to be the commander. 

She closed her eyes, trying to remember anything; but there was nothing. Not even those few flashes she originally had. With a desolate sigh she lay back on the bed, closing her eyes. 

_She sat on the edge of a bed, and an alien with dark skin and white and blue markings stared at her with loving eyes. She could still feel his touch, feel his face buried against her shoulder. She watched as he left, sadness aching through her as he walked away._

Shepard sat up, gasping for air. She blinked a few times, trying to regain the image of the alien. She knew that person, she cared for him - _she was sure of it_. A slow smile bloomed on her face only to vanish once again. She didn’t know who that alien was. 

Her skin still hummed, and the memory of his touch still lingered. She lightly ran her finger down her cheek, but it didn’t feel right. She slid her nail along her skin, a sad smile on her face at the familiar sensations. The feeling was off, but similar, and she didn’t understand it. She tried to recall the memory, but all she could recall were dark scales with white and blue paint.

“Shepard, we will be at the Citadel by morning,” Jeff announced. 

“Mr. Moreau, how long have you known me?” she asked. 

“I worked with you for over a year,” he answered, leaning back in his comfortable leather chair with a quirked brow. He thought about telling her to call him Joker, but it wouldn’t be the same. This wasn’t the Shepard he knew. He couldn’t see this Shepard being friendly enough to call him Joker.  

“Do I know an alien with dark scales and white and blue markings?” she asked softly. She needed answers and he seemed to be the only one who might have them. 

“You know a turian with dark scales and white marks. Also another turian with blue markings,” he answered. He didn’t know if he should give her names. This was a Cerberus ship and the Illusive Man had been asking similar questions. He didn’t feel it safe to give names right now, so he kept the information to himself until he could get Shepard alone. 

“Thanks,” she muttered, cutting the comm.

Shepard went over to her computer, bringing up a picture of turians. Her eyes widened. Her finger traced the picture lightly; running across the mandibles and lightly tracing the neck. Her eyes widened and one hand slapped against her neck. She felt around, but her skin was smooth. Something about that was wrong. _There should have been something important there_ , she thought fearfully.

She closed her eyes, bowed her head and hardened herself. She was going to drive herself insane if this kept up. She buried the feelings of loss and remorse; there was nothing she could do about it. To be honest, she didn’t really care. Not anymore.

                                                                                ~oooooooo~ 

 Joker sat back in his chair and scowled at EDI. He hated the computer with a passion, but his mind was veering toward Shepard. He hoped her questions were a sign that she was remembering. 

He thought back to the day she had met him…

_“I’m the pilot, ma’am,” Joker answered. He was nervous. He had heard all about the woman standing in front of him. She was a hero and a strong biotic. People also called her a diplomat that was easy to get along with. When crossed, however, she could be very dangerous. He watched her walk onto the bridge with the turian. She held herself confidently, with bright smiling eyes._

_“I asked your name, not what you do,” she chuckled, amusement shining in her eyes._

_“Joker, ma’am,” he answered with a grin._

_“So Joker is your nickname. What’s your real name?” she asked, her brow quirked in question._

_Joker sighed. He knew his name had a reputation to it - some good, some bad, depending on what stories you heard. “Jeff Moreau,” he muttered._

_“Well, now that is interesting. Heard quite a bit about you,” she said and grinned slyly._

_He automatically went on the defensive. “I earned everything I have. I worked hard to be the best to prove that the sick boy could beat the healthy soldiers,” he bit out._

_“Joker, I am only going to say this once,” she bit out. Her eyes turned cold for a moment and he worried. He thought for sure he was going to get a reprimand or even worse. He waited for her to continue and kept silent, but didn’t hide his glare. “I don’t care what the fuck you did before. As long as you do the job, don’t destroy the ship and don’t steal my coffee, we are good,” she grinned, patting him on the shoulder before walking away. He watched her go, his mouth opened wide in surprise._

_He didn’t know how long he watched her with a grin on his face._

The next time that she shocked him was when she confronted him about his disease. 

_She stood there watching as we went through one of the relays. She was a Spectre already. He could see sadness in her eyes, but didn’t ask. He knew she and the turian Spectre had been lovers._

_“Rumor is that you have a disease,” she commented._

_“It doesn’t affect my flying,” he growled belligerently._

_“No really, I would never have guessed,” she drawled with mocking eyes that also held a teasing smile. He relaxed in his chair, wondering why she brought it up if she didn’t actually care about it. She saw the unasked question in his eyes. “The main reason for asking is that if there is an emergency, I need to know if you can get off the ship quickly or if you will need help,” she explained with a serious face. He knew then that no joking answer would be good enough._

_“I can’t move quickly. The bones in my legs are too brittle for that,” he told her, watching her very closely and waiting for the disdain that always accompanied his admission._

_She didn’t say anything, but nodded and started to leave. “Why?” he couldn’t help asking._

_“Because if something bad happen, I need to know who I need to help. NO ONE gets left behind,” she stated before walking away as he sat there, speechless._

Joker smirked as he thought of the old times. Every day she would visit him in the cockpit. Sometimes she would sit there, keeping him company while he made jibes about Garrus. He remembered Kaidan’s astonishment when he found out that he hadn’t read Shepard’s file. He trusted Shepard. He didn’t need to read the file. When he did finally read it, he had been shocked and amazed. Now she was back and not the person he remembered. 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard walked onto the Citadel and noticed the guard at the door to the main thoroughfare. Something about it struck her as wrong, but she couldn’t quite identify the problem. She moved toward the guard at the door. “Please give me a moment. New security measures have been installed since Sovereign’s attack,” the turian guard explained when he saw the irritation on Shepard’s face. “We need to scan you. I take it this is your first time here since the Citadel was rebuilt?” He tried to make small talk as he worked. He studied the woman before him; she seemed very familiar, but he couldn’t place her. 

His eyes widened when her name popped up. He double checked his findings, believing that it had to be a mistake. As far as he was concerned, the scan results couldn’t be correct. Commander Tania Shepard died in battle while saving her crew. Everyone on the Citadel knew this. He met the woman’s cold eyes. “Excuse me for a moment. I need to contact my superior,” he stated. 

He tapped his ear piece when he was out of the woman’s hearing range. “Sir, we have a problem. There is a woman attempting to pass through security and her scan says that she is Commander Shepard,” he stated quickly. 

“Are you sure?” his commander asked sharply. He knew the affect this must be having on his superior. Chellick had been friends with Shepard. There were even rumors that the two had been lovers. 

“Yes, sir. Did the scans twice,” he answered, ignoring the gasp he heard on the other end. 

“Keep her there!” Chellick ordered, when he had his voice under control once more. “I’m on my way.” 

Chellick left his desk, moving quickly over to Pallin’s office. He had to tell him about this. Shepard’s death had affected everyone who had been close to her. Now there was someone wanting on the Citadel that matched Shepard’s DNA. He wouldn’t believe it was her until he saw the proof for himself. 

Pallin’s head snapped up when his doors opened. He glared at Chellick until he saw the shocked look on the turian’s face. “What happened now?” Pallin growled. He hated being interrupted when he was busy. Chellick was the last turian he wanted to see. It usually indicated a problem that he would be forced to deal with. 

“There is someone wanting on the Citadel….” Chellick began. He didn’t get a chance to finish before Pallin cut him off. 

“Chellick, I don’t have time to check out everyone who seeks to enter the Citadel. You are to look after this!” Pallin commanded brusquely. 

“Scanners say it’s Shepard,” Chellick told him softly. 

Pallin’s eyes widened, and his mandibles went slack from shock. “What…” he whispered, rising from his chair on shaky legs. “Shepard… alive? How?” he mumbled, following Chellick in a daze toward the Citadel scanning area. 

Pallin was the first to walk through the doors. He stopped dead. Without thinking about what he was doing, he walked toward the woman that he had missed. 

Shepard watched the approaching turian. She raised a brow when he stopped inches short of walking into her. “Shepard…” he whispered, raising a hand and brushing his talon against her cheek. “How? Where have you been…?” the turian choked out before Shepard found herself pulled roughly toward him into a tight embrace. 

“I don’t know who you are, but you have two seconds to let me go or…” she trailed off when he buried his face into her shoulder as the turian in her memory did. As abruptly as she was grabbed, he let her go. 

“What do you mean ‘who I am’?” Pallin barked. If this was a joke, he wasn’t laughing. 

“I thought the question was obvious or do you need it spelled out for you?” Shepard asked scathingly. This turian brought emotions that she was trying to shove away back to the surface. She quickly buried them deep; she wasn’t going to allow them to resurface again. The Shepard he seemed to know was dead and gone.

“Shepard, what the hell happened to you?” another turian asked, looking at her in shock. She turned to him and could clearly see the hurt in his eyes. She ignored the remorse that came rushing over her and ruthlessly pushed it away. 

She turned coldly to the second turian. “The Shepard you knew is dead. You would do well to remember that. I am here to see the Turian Councilor. Either you let me through, or I go through on my own,” she sneered coldly at him, giving him a disdainful look. 

“If you try and force your way through, we will have no choice but to stop you; by any means necessary,” the emotional turian told her harshly. 

“I’d like to see you try,” she grinned maliciously, allowing her biotics to flow over her. “Who wants to be first?”

Pallin and Chellick looked at each other in shock, their mouths agape. The Shepard they knew wasn’t like this. They didn’t know this Shepard. Pallin gave Chellick a slow nod, allowing her through. His response wasn’t due to the threat; the threat meant nothing to him. He wasn’t scared of death. When Shepard was killed in action, he thought he was dying for quite a while. 

“Allow her access. Maybe Valern can do something,” Pallin ordered. 

Shepard swayed when she heard Valern’s name. 

_Green eyes stared at her with love, and gentle claws grazed her cheek. A face pressed against her shoulder, strong arms enveloping her. Hope, happiness, sadness and anger ran through her. Remorseful eyes looked at her - eyes that showed his feelings for her._

_“Why are you putting yourself through this?” she asked._

_“I don’t know,” he whispered softly, his head bowed. She watched him walk away…._

She broke from the memory gasping, the two turians watching her closely. The one who held her was now looking upon her with knowing eyes, while the other wore a blank expression. “You can go through at any time. When you come back from the Turian Councilor’s office, you can set it up so that you won’t have to go through this very time you return to the Citadel,” he explained. 

Shepard glared at him, annoyed that both turians had witnessed her remembering something. She knew this Valern that they spoke of. He was someone close to her, someone she could trust and that loved her. She was positive he was the one she had been missing. He had to be the one that haunted her dreams.

Pallin and Chellick watched her as she walked away. “What do you think happened to her?” Chellick answered. 

“She doesn’t have her memories; that much is obvious. I am going to find out how it happened,” Pallin growled. 

“Garrus is going to be devastated when he meets his wife again,” Chellick muttered. 

“He may be for a short time; but when Garrus left, he wasn’t the same man we once knew. He was colder, harsher than ever before. Maybe it will be a good thing when they meet. Any word on his location?” Pallin asked thoughtfully. 

“No, but Valern has been hinting that he knows where he is,” Chellick grumbled. “Shepard better be careful. We don’t know what game Valern is playing.”

“Keep an eye on Shepard’s comings and goings every time she comes onto the Citadel; at least until we have the Shepard we know back,” Pallin ordered before leaving. Chellick watched the turian for a moment before nodding to the C-Sec guard. 

“You heard him, red flag it every time she is on the Citadel,” he ordered. 

“Sir, was that really Shepard?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Smelled like her, sounded like her; but other than that, I don’t know,” Chellick growled, anger rising in him at the thought of this new Shepard. 

He glanced down at his wrist to the beads that Shepard had given him before things went to hell between them. He knew he should have given them back to her when she took Garrus as her mate, but he couldn’t. It was the only thing he had left of her. When he finally figured out that his obsession to have her for his mate was from her biotics, he came to another realization - he truly cared for her. Not as a lover or a mate, but as a close friend. He silently prayed to the spirits that the old Shepard would come back.

Pallin sat back in his office chair, his eyes narrowing as he thought of Valern. He remembered how many problems Shepard had with him before her death. Her loss of memory would be a perfect opportunity for Valern to step in and shove Garrus to the side before he had a chance to reconnect with her. There was no way Pallin was going to allow that to happen. To prevent it, however, he needed to find the missing turian.   

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Valern sat at his desk, shaking his head in frustration. His paperwork was consuming him. He had received word that Shepard was on her way to the Citadel, but he didn’t expect her anytime soon. Before she died she had begun to avoid him, so he expected nothing less from her now. He hated that she felt she needed to stay away from him. 

He barely paid attention when the door to his office opened. A scent he hadn’t smelled in years came to him and he slowly raised his eyes. Shepard stood there before him. He rose from his chair in a daze and moved slowly toward her. Knowing she was alive was one thing; seeing it for himself was an entirely different matter. 

He didn’t ask questions; he wasn’t sure if he could form words. Without asking permission, or worrying about the plans that he wanted to set in motion, he did the one thing he had longed to do for years. He pulled Shepard into his arms and held her close. 

Shepard stood immobilized in his arms. She remembered her dream and she knew it was this turian. She was pretty sure that she had found the one who left the emptiness inside of her. She raised her hands and placed them on his back, returning his embrace. 

She gasped when she felt him nip at her skin. Pleasure shot through her body, and her hand automatically travelled up under his fringe; her nails digging into the softer flesh there. She pressed herself closer when she felt his rough tongue run along her skin. “Spirits, Shepard, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this,” he murmured against her skin.

Shepard broke out of her haze when he spoke and moved from his grip. She was surprised that he didn’t fight her. She stood there staring at him. “Who are you?” she whispered. This was the first time since her resurrection that she felt happy in someone’s presence. She felt safe and secure. She was sure he was the one, though something in the back of her mind refused to accept it. She didn’t care - she ignored that voice.

Valern stood there watching her. Lust roared through him, but what he saw stopped him from continuing. She didn’t hold herself like Shepard. There wasn’t the confidence he was used to seeing. He didn’t know what else had changed, but he was fairly sure there was more. At the moment he didn’t care. He moved toward her, watching for the rejection that never came. He gripped her hard, pulling her close to him and brushing his mandibles against her shoulder. He heard her gasp and grinned. 

Shepard allowed him to touch her, even when her body was telling her it was wrong. Pleasure slowly filled her at his touch. She gasped when she felt something brush against her, sending a shiver down her spine. Her hands automatically went beneath his fringe, nails digging into the softer skin there. Fear slithered through her as she heard him growl. The fear receded when he moaned.

He lifted her up, placing onto the desk. Her legs automatically wrapped around his waist, holding him close. He tasted every piece of skin he could get to, and he reveled in her moans of pleasure. He reached for the buttons on her shirt, revealing her soft skin to him. 

Triumph roared through him when he saw that her mate’s mark wasn’t there anymore. She didn’t have his bite or his scent to protect her. Now he could mark her for himself, have her without Garrus’ interference. 

He stripped off his clothes quickly as she slid out of her pants. He took in her scent - the musky aroma of her arousal. He thought it would be stronger from the rumors he had heard about human females. His eyes raked over her as she sat perched on his desk. Her eyes were dark with pleasure, but still alert. He hoped to dissolve her alertness with passion-filled eyes instead. 

Shepard watched him with a mixture of fear and pleasure. It wasn’t an overwhelming pleasure, but a warmth that ran through her body; leaving her wet. She felt him entering her, and she held her breath in anticipation. Her eyes snapped closed when he shoved himself inside her. Pain lanced through her, but she fought it; forcing herself to relax. She was glad when he didn’t move again.

“Shepard?” he asked in his growling voice. 

“I’m fine,” she whispered, her hands automatically going to his waist; urging him on. She felt him push into her further, and she worried that she wouldn’t survive this union. When his body was finally flush with hers, alarm bells rang loudly in her mind. 

She _knew_ this wasn’t the one. He wasn’t the one that she missed. She _knew_ she didn’t know this body - it was foreign to her. Everything about him was wrong. The pleasure she initially felt disappeared as he moved within her. She tried to relax and give in to the pleasure he was offering her, but there was little pleasure to be had. Her mind wouldn’t allow it. 

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the turian pounding into her…

_Blue piercing eyes stared down at her, holding her close. His body moved roughly into hers, taking her. Blinding pleasure shot through her as she moved with him. His growls filled the room, and her cries of pleasure matched his own._

_His head moved to her neck, sharp teeth gently holding her as he moved. Her fingers dug into the soft skin under his fringe, urging him on. She screamed her pleasure as it exploded through her when his teeth pierced her skin. She felt him pump into her a few more times through her haze. Her inner muscles still squeezing him, milking him. His roar echoed off the walls as he found his release, bringing her screaming again as she felt him filling her with his essence._

Her eyes fluttered open to see sharp green eyes watching her smugly. Her body felt lax, sated. She could feel that the desk was drenched from the both of them. She hadn’t been with him. She had been with someone else; someone with blue piercing eyes. She searched his face, alarmed at the blood around his mouth. She could feel discomfort on her shoulder and knew he had bit her. 

Valern purred his pleasure. He never thought Shepard could have that much passion within her. She met him thrust for thrust, challenging him to move rougher within her. She knew the right places to touch, and where to lick him to give him the greatest amount of pleasure. There was no way he was letting her go now. He couldn’t allow her to go back to Garrus. What pleased him the most was the loving look in her eyes as she watched him. At first it had been alert, with barely any pleasure; but in the end she showed him what she truly felt for him. It was more than he could ask for. 

They both dressed slowly. Once she was dressed, she moved to a chair in front of his desk. He took a seat behind the desk, ready to get down to business. “I know you are with Cerberus. I plan on breaking your ties with them,” he stated bluntly. 

He paused when he heard her laughter. It was cold and calculating, not something he attributed to Shepard. “I don’t think so. Nobody is taking me from them until I’ve had my revenge,” she said and grinned menacingly. 

“I know you hate Cerberus, but what revenge are you speaking of?” Valern asked, confused. 

“The ‘why’ isn’t your concern, Turian,” she sneered, giving him a scathing look.

Valern looked at her, startled at her tone of voice. Tania had never spoken to him like this before. She always treated him with respect and as an equal; never sneering at him. Even when she didn’t know him, she didn’t sneer at him. Anger rose in him, but he held it at bay. He finally had Shepard as his own and nothing was going to change that. He would just have to teach her how to talk to him again. 

Shepard knew she should treat him with more respect after what they had just shared, but she couldn’t. She felt disgusted with herself, dirty. She had been so sure that he was the one and she had been so very wrong. She knew she needed to accept that she would never find that part of her that was missing. 

She looked at Valern and saw that he was shocked with her attitude. No matter how angry she was that he wasn’t the one she was missing, she couldn’t deny that she had feelings for this turian. He meant something to her, and she couldn’t just let that go. She closed her eyes and gave up on that cold anger. 

Valern watched the anger leave her face with a raised brow ridge. “Are you finished?” he drawled with a smirk. “I’ve never known you to be cold, Tania.” 

She bowed her head and sighed deeply. “Yeah, well a lot of things have changed,” she muttered. Her instincts told her she could trust him; that he was important to her in some way. 

“I would say,” he commented. He moved around the desk and sat on the edge before her. “Being raised from the dead couldn’t have been easy,” he said, watching her carefully. If he wanted to keep her as his, he knew he had to play his cards right. Garrus wasn’t going to have her this time. This time she was going to be his. 

She looked up at him, sadness in her eyes. Everyone else she rejected had backed away from her; but not him. She searched his eyes and saw what he felt for her - he loved her. She could see it. Maybe she was wrong; maybe he was the right one and her brain was messing with her. “It’s even harder when Cerberus took my memories,” she sighed, running her hand through her hair. 

“You have no memories?” Valern asked, hiding his triumph. 

“I have flashes here and there, but nothing concrete,” she muttered, shaking her head in frustration. She started to get up from the chair so she could move around the room; but Valern stopped her, pulling her into his arms. 

He had to hold her or she would have seen the triumphant look on his face. Her scent was soothing and she felt right in his arms. He had the perfect opportunity to get Shepard back and to have her as his own. There was no way he was going to mess up; this time he would finally have the woman he had loved for so long. 

He purred softly as she relaxed against him, running through his plan in his mind. “What do you want to know?” he asked her softly, running his talons through her hair; marveling at the way it slipped free to flutter back into place. 

She asked the first question on her mind. “Why is everyone shocked by the way I act?” she asked softly. 

“You are different than you used to be. Before your resurrection, you held yourself confidently. You were a commander and a Spectre, tracking one the best Spectres the Council ever had. You let nothing stand in your way as you hunted him. Now you don’t have the same confidence, but that is to be expected,” he answered her, taking her hand in his as he smiled down at her. 

“But we need the old Shepard back,” he told her quietly. “The Reapers are coming and you are the only one that can stop them. And I think, even if you won’t admit it, that you need to regain who you once were, as well.”

She listened to his voice. It was soothing and comforting to her. She leaned in close to him, needing to keep him close. “Who are you?” she whispered, though she wasn’t expecting an answer.

“Someone who loves you and would do anything for you. I will help you through this, if you let me,” he murmured, stroking her hair softly. He saw her vulnerability and smiled. He had finally broken through her walls. He saw the trust in her eyes, but he knew it would take a lot more than this meeting to finally win her as his mate. 

She stepped away from him with a small smile. “I should head back to my ship,” she told him. 

“Or you could stay the night and head back to your ship in the morning,” Valern offered with a raised brow. 

_Did she want to do that, stay here with him?_ She trusted him, and she didn’t feel threatened. She knew he really wanted to help her. She had so many questions, but no answers. However, could she ever give herself to him again? She wasn’t sure if she could. “Not this time. I need to get back to my ship,” she told him softly before walking to the door. 

Valern watched her walk away and rejoiced. Soon Shepard would be his and there wasn’t a thing Garrus could do to stop it. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Pallin sat in his chair, softly growling. He had just received word that Shepard had been Valern’s office for several hours. He could just imagine what the Councilor was doing. For the past few hours, he had tried everything to find Garrus’ location. If anyone could make her remember it would be him. He knew it. But finding that turian was next to impossible.

He knew he needed to keep an eye on Valern before he ruined any chance Garrus had to reclaim his wife. It didn’t take much effort to figure out that Valern was going to try and win Shepard over. In her current state, it wouldn’t be that hard for him; considering they were close friends before she was killed. 

Pallin pulled up Shepard’s service record and hoped there was something in it to aid his investigation. Unfortunately, his efforts proved futile. Someone went to great lengths to delete information from her file. The only other place he could think for finding information was Shepard’s old apartment. He knew that Garrus had lived there before his disappearance; even after Tania’s death. He decided to hire someone to break into her apartment and find the information he was looking for. 

                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Shepard stepped onboard the Normandy. Mr. Moreau was sitting in the cockpit, focused on the control panel in front of him. “Mr. Moreau, what can you tell me about the Turian Councilor?” she asked quietly. 

Joker turned in his seat and fought the urge to cringe. Hearing her refer to him as Mr. Moreau was a killer.  He glanced at her with a shocked look. “From what you’ve told me, he’s always been there helping you. While we were searching for Saren, he provided you with updates on the locations we were to investigate. When the Normandy was forbidden to leave the Citadel, he was one of the ones willing to help you. You talked to him quite often,” Joker answered, confused. “I remember once he bought you a new bed and a coffee machine.” He chuckled at that memory. 

Shepard nodded her head and left, heading toward her terminal. She was about to check it on her own when a bubbly voice stopped her. “You have messages waiting for you,” Kelly stated with a smile. 

“Thanks,” she muttered, eyeing the woman warily. She opened the messages. The first was from the Illusive Man and it mentioned a potential new ally in their fight against the Reapers. According to the message, the candidate was a master thief by the name of Kasumi Goto. It seemed that she was here on the Citadel. That worked for Tania. She could do that first thing in the morning. 

The others were dossiers. There were three on Omega, one on a prison facility and another on the planet Korlus in the Imir system. She decided to seek out the Warlord first, then the convict. After that she would head for Omega. It wasn’t like there was any hurry; or so she thought when she read Archangel’s dossier. He might be a problem. She’d have to look closer at him before making her final decision. 

She clicked the final message and her eyes widened. She was shocked to have received a message from him so soon. 

_Tania,_

_I wanted to inform you that the Council has reinstated your Spectre status. I’ve also arranged it so you have access to the entire Citadel, even the places that are closed off to high ranking visitors. You can contact me using this address at any time._

_Yours,_

_Valern_

Shepard smiled as she closed the letter, ignoring Kelly’s curious stare. She went to her loft where she could be alone. She didn’t feel comfortable on this ship, with these people. She hated that they watched her all the time and she was positive that the Illusive Man had video surveillance everywhere. After all, he had that AI to do his bidding, didn’t he? 


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard stalked onto the ship, her face a mask of irritation. She wasn’t impressed with the newest recruit, a thief by the name of Kasumi Goto. The woman had a mysterious air about her, but her chipper mood grated painfully on the commander’s nerves. 

Shepard smirked at the thief when she kept silent in decontamination. It was the only good thing she had done since they met. If only she would have done it earlier. 

The doors opened before them and she watched the thief move quickly away. She smirked at Joker when she found him watching her. “Where are we heading to next, Commander?” Joker asked.

“Head to the prison ship in the Osun system. We have a pick up there,” she answered.

“We’re picking up criminals now?” Joker asked, shock plain to hear in his voice. 

“Looks like it. I am quite anxious to meet this one as the criminal is considered to be the most powerful human biotic,” Shepard murmured thoughtfully as she let her own biotics flare over her hands. 

Joker watched her hands anxiously. He was shocked to hear that there might be a biotic more powerful than Shepard. He wondered if this ship could handle both of them onboard. He heard the stories of Shepard’s biotics and had seen some of the video feeds. Garrus told him all about how she shoved her hand deep into Saren’s chest and pulled out his heart. That one still got him. He didn’t know how she could do that, but he didn’t blame her. 

“I’m not sure about the ‘most powerful biotic’ part. Your file gives you that label,” Joker muttered. 

“We’ll find out, won’t we?” Shepard asked and Joker shivered when he saw the coldness in her grin. 

“You’ve changed, Shepard,” Joker stated, holding his breath when she turned cold, deadly eyes to him. 

“Yes I have. Remember that,” she retorted before turning away. 

Joker watched her walk away and shook his head. Shepard had changed and he wasn’t sure if it was for the good. That worried him. They were on a suicide mission and this Shepard would never be able to get them through alive. Had she been more like her old self, he knew there was nothing that could have stood against them. He only hoped that she would soon regain her memories and once again be the leader he remembered. They needed the old Shepard so desperately in order to succeed.

                                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

The illusive Man sat back in his chair; his mood pensive. _So, Shepard had the ear of the Turian Councilor….That could prove beneficial,_ he thought smugly.He read over the letter once more and smiled. The letter had a personal note to it; as though the Councilor and Shepard were more than mere friends. 

He wondered if the Councilor was the one who had been blocking all his attempts to gain information on Shepard. He also wondered if this particular turian was the one the rumors spoke about. Was he her husband? If that was the case, it would be very beneficial when they got Shepard under their control.  He didn’t believe a word the pilot had said. Shepard had a past, and he intended to find out what it was before she regained her memory. If he had the information and could feed it to her by bits, it may enable him to gain her trust. Then when she regained her full memory, he could use her without problems. 

Now all he needed was to find out who else was close to her. He could try using the Turian Councilor, but it would be a great risk if his plan didn’t succeed. He would just have to watch and see who would be the first to truly gain Shepard’s trust. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

The walls of her room where closing in on her. She didn’t trust anyone on this ship, and she didn’t feel safe. Joker was the only one she trusted enough not to stab her while she slept; but that didn’t mean she was comfortable talking to him at length about her feelings. 

She paced her room once more, frustration welling up in her. She grabbed the first thing her hand clasped and threw it with all her strength, but it didn’t calm her. She sat down with a sigh, her head in her hands; frustration taking firm hold of her. 

Her mind flashed to the Turian Councilor’s letter. In it he stated that she could contact him if she needed him. She pondered the idea and knew they were still docked. She opened a com channel to Mr. Moreau. “Stay docked until morning,” she ordered. 

“Understood, Commander,” Joker responded, confusion evident in his tone. The Shepard he knew rarely changed her mind unless something big was bothering her. It seemed that everything bothered this new Shepard. 

He sagged in his chair and checked the panel in front of him once more. He didn’t have anything better to do until Shepard was off the ship. Once she was gone and wouldn’t accidently walk up behind him, he could surf the extranet for more interesting material. 

                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Valern scowled at his computer. He really didn’t want to be disturbed right now. It would be difficult to explain himself if he was caught in his current situation. He was studying turian and human mating rituals. So far he’d learned that humans were a lot like asari, which made things easier for him. He had been with a few asaris in his time. Allergic reactions were also an issue, and he was glad that he’d picked up the necessary medications in case they were needed. There hadn’t been a problem the first time he was with Shepard, but he didn’t want to take any chances.

With an annoyed sigh, he opened the message waiting for him. He was shocked that it was Shepard requesting a video chat with him. He grinned and opened a channel to her. He knew he had to be careful with what he said. She was on a Cerberus ship and he couldn’t trust that their conversation would remain private. 

“Shepard, what can I do for you?” he purred softly. He was so relieved that he could finally be honest with her and not hide his feelings. 

She looked at him uncertainly. “I…never mind. It was stupid. I shouldn’t have bothered you,” she muttered, her cheeks a light red. He saw she was about to cut communications and knew he had to move quickly. 

“Stupid? I highly doubt that,” he chuckled. “What’s bothering you?” 

“I need off this ship and I don’t want to be alone,” she muttered, scowling at the screen. Even to her it sounded lame, but she didn’t feel nearly as safe here as she did with him. 

“I’ll meet you at your ship in half an hour,” he smiled, trying not to scare her with his sharp teeth. That was the last thing he needed. She nodded and cut communications. 

He sat back in his chair for a moment and grinned. He couldn’t have planned this better, himself. He was happy that Tania trusted him enough to call upon him when she needed company. 

With lighter steps than he had in a while, he made his way out of his office and headed to meet with Tania. _Maybe this time around I won’t have Vakarian as a challenger,_ he thought, suddenly quite pleased with himself. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Tania made her way through processing without a problem. She passed through the doors and instantly relaxed. Valern was standing there waiting for her. She relaxed as she neared him. The anxiety that she felt earlier slowly disappeared once she was by his side. 

Valern moved near her, but kept some space between them. He didn’t want to spook her. He motioned for her to follow him to his apartment. He tried to hide his agitation. In his current condition, he wanted to take her to his bed the moment they entered his home. He longed to have her scent covering every inch of his bed, but he knew he couldn’t move too fast or she may flee from him. 

Her scent surrounded him as they moved toward the Presidium, and he had to stifle the purr that rose in his throat. He carefully closed the space between them as they walked until his hand was brushing against hers with each step. He watched her reaction out of the corner of his eyes. She didn’t seem to mind the contact, which thrilled him. 

Valern stopped when he felt her stiffen beside him. Her gaze was riveted to her old apartment. “What is it?” he asked, hoping she wasn’t starting to remember her past. He needed more time to mold her in order for his plan to work. If her memories returned too quickly, she would return to Garrus, and that was something he wanted to avoid. 

“Noth… nothing,” she said and shook her head, looking confused. He reached out, touching her cheek softly. 

“You don’t have to hide. What is bothering you?” he asked. 

“I look at that door and it’s like I should know it, but I don’t. It’s like every other door,” she shrugged, looking frustrated.  “Forget it, let’s get out of here.”

Valern took her gently, steering her toward his home. They walked into his place. He stopped near the doors when she didn’t move any farther into the room. Her eyes were distant, glazed over. 

Shepard watched as he moved; tall and foreboding, but safe. She watched as he punched in a code on the panel and the door opened. A memory pressed against her, but wouldn’t come until he turned her way. 

_Valern stood before her, his claw idly running along her skin…_

_He drops his face down to her shoulder, and there’s a wetness left behind when he raises his face. His eyes dark with challenge as he watches her…._

_Valern, talking softly to her, his eyes showing so many different emotions - far too many to count. She wants to reach for him, she feels the same, but she can’t…._

_Valern talking to her, laughing with her, and she is content, safe._

She blinked rapidly, clearing the images. None of them were enough to give her memories, but the emotions behind the flashes reiterated the fact that she could trust him. She knew he was a safe place for her. She didn’t need to hide with him, she was sure of it. They had cared for each other…yet there was something off and she didn’t know what. She knew it wasn’t Valern, but something else. She knew if she kept dwelling on what was missing, she would go insane. She had been dead for two years. That person she was missing was either dead or had moved on. It was time she moved on. 

She sat on the couch with him, talking for hours. She told him about the flashes of memories she’d had, hoping that he might be able to fill in the gaps. She told him about the oddities that she found and why she didn’t feel safe onboard her own ship. 

He listened patiently, his claws running lightly along her skin; leaving goose-bumps in their wake. 

Her eyes never left his when she felt his touch. She was mesmerized by the change in color, from bright green to dark green. Shepard finally decided that she needed to know if she could have pleasure with this turian. She knew she couldn’t dwell on whoever had the blue eyes. He was the past, and she had to keep him in the past. 

Hesitantly she reached up, brushing her fingertips lightly along his jaw; grazing his mandible. She heard him purr and was soothed by the soft noise. Her eyes widened as Valern reached up, stopping her hand and holding it firmly against the side of his face. “What?” she asked, her voice shaking, showing her nervousness. She didn’t want to lose him by her stupidity. He was the only thing she had left. 

“Don’t continue, my control is not limitless. If you do continue, I’ll be taking you to my bed,” Valern stated bluntly, a challenging look in his eyes. 

Shepard caught the challenging look, and her stomach fluttered in excitement. Her neither region tightened in anticipation…her body reacted to him. That was all she needed to know. It was her mind stopping her before, not her body or its reaction to him. She desired him. She knew and accepted this as her body flooded with warmth just by a look from him. 

She reached out, finally secure in her desires, and brushed a finger down the length of his mandibles. She chuckled darkly as she heard him moan and felt the shiver racing through him. 

“Tania…” Valern growled, trying to remind her once more; before he lost what little control he had left of his body. He tried valiantly to ignore the throbbing erection pressing against his partially shifted plates.  

Tania raised a brow, smirking at him. Valern hissed out a breath as he watched her. This was his Tania Shepard. This was her as he remembered her. He saw the confidence in her green eyes, the taunting look; challenging him to do his best or worst. He purred his pleasure, his hand lacing through her thick hair; pulling her face closer to his. His tongue flicked out, taking a deeper scent of her; tasting her lips at the same time. 

He gasped as her tongue met his, unsure of how to continue. It seemed decadent, almost obscene doing this with a human; but her taste removed the last of his control. He could feel his erection pressing heavily against his softened plates. 

Shepard’s body throbbed as his taste filled her. She had tried to force the memories of the blue eyes from her brain, but she couldn’t. Instead of green eyes she was now staring into heated blue eyes. Thankfully the memories didn’t ruin this moment for her. In fact, her brain was enhancing the moment. Those familiar blue eyes urged her on. Her body was with Valern, but her mind was with someone else. She would never tell him that - she couldn’t. As far as she was concerned those blue eyes didn’t exist anymore. However, she would use them if that was how she would receive pleasure from the turian in front of her. 

She laid her teeth gently on his tongue. He panicked until she began sucking hard on it. His claws dug into her skin, pleasure filling him. Then she moaned around his tongue, sending a vibration through him. Pleasure shot through him, straight to his hardened shaft. He groaned when she let his tongue go, wishing he could reciprocate the pleasure he’d just experienced; but he knew that would be impossible. He growled low and at first she thought it was out of anger. When his claws began tracing her skin, leaving red welts in their wake, she knew he growled out of pleasure. 

Valern wanted to take her now, but he also wanted to take his time with her. He wanted to memorize her taste, every noise she made, and what gave her pleasure. He wanted to hear his name on her lips when she found her release while he was seated deep within her. He’d read that humans could have multiple orgasms like asari and he wanted to put it to the test. 

Her shirt was the first thing to be removed. He purred his pleasure as she undid the clasps of his shirt. His hands wandered along her body, followed quickly by his tongue. He watched her closely, trying to find what made her moan, cry out or shiver. Those spots he paid more attention to. 

He removed her pants, her musky scent going straight to his head. He growled his pleasure against her skin as her nails bit deeply into the skin beneath his fringe.  He entered her with a forceful thrust that had her bowing backward. She was seated on the edge of the couch. He was on his knees before her, fully seated within her. The sensitive shell that hid him from view brushed against her warm flesh with each movement of her body. He fought to refrain from immediately spilling his seed deep inside her. 

She looked at him with passion filled eyes and that was his undoing. His instincts took over and his marking scent filled the room. He leaned down to the base of her neck, biting deeply; placing his mark on her body. 

Before Valern could even think of what he was saying, the words he wanted to say for so long spilled out of his mouth. “Bite me, mate,” he whispered hoarsely against her shoulder. 

Shepard hesitated when she heard those words. 

_A musky scent filled the room - a hard body pressed up against hers, thrusting deeply within her. She tried to see the face, but couldn’t. “Bite me, mate,” the person growled, urging her on._

She heard Valern whisper the same words. She had once been mated, she knew that now. Was he the one? She didn’t care. She cared for him and he loved her. She couldn’t keep looking for this other mysterious turian, even though she knew it wasn’t Valern who originally said those words to her. She bit deep into his neck, her tongue lapping at the blood that came from the wound. A part of her felt disappointment. He tasted wrong and her body knew it. 

Pleasure soared through Valern. He shouted his release as he thrust deep within her. He heard her cry out his name as her muscles clamped around him, milking him. He nipped at her shoulder, showing her affection as they leaned on each other. 

“When do you leave?” he asked, wondering how much time he had with her. 

“As soon as day shift starts we’ll depart the Citadel,” she murmured, laying her head on his shoulder. She smiled as she heard him purr. She raised her head, looking at the content turian in front of her. Her eyes widened as he placed his forehead against hers.

“What does that mean?” she asked quietly. 

Valern searched her face, hoping that he would see her feelings for him. He knew he could tell her. She already knew how he felt. His mandibles flared as he smiled. “It’s the way turians show that they love you,” he answered. He wasn’t going to explain everything to her, as she probably wouldn’t understand. Turians had a gland in their foreheads, beneath the hard casing of their skin. If she had been a turian, the touch of each other’s foreheads would produce a scent that confirmed they were mates, or close to it. It was an unspoken promise that they would take no other.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard left Valern’s late in the night, close to day shift. She walked slowly through the Promenade hoping something would jog her memory; but it proved to be a lost cause. She was surprised at the damage that still showed around her. She could tell that a lot of work had already been done to fix the place up, but there was still so much to do. 

She was about to get a cab back to the docking bay when she was stopped by a familiar voice. She turned to find herself staring at the turian with white face paint. “Shepard, we need to talk,” he stated brusquely, motioning for her to follow him. 

She followed hesitantly, not sure what this turian wanted. He led her into an office, locking the door behind them. 

Pallin kept his growl to himself when he caught the territorial scent that covered her. He knew who it belonged to without being told. Valern had overstepped his bounds this time. Pallin knew he would have to step in sooner than he planned. He’d hoped to find Garrus first, but he now realized that he may not be able to wait. 

He thought about telling Shepard about her history and her husband; but she was with Cerberus and he couldn’t be sure that she wasn’t bugged in some way. He couldn’t put Garrus in danger, especially not with how unstable he had been when he vanished. Losing Tania nearly destroyed him.

“What do you think you are doing?” Pallin bit out, a growl tingeing his words. 

“That is not your concern,” Shepard snapped, very irritated with the turian standing in front of her. 

Pallin growled low in his throat, pinning Shepard against the wall; using his body to hold her in place. “It is when you play games like this. Valern isn’t the one for you,” he bit out. 

Tania hesitated. She knew this body; in fact, she was sure that she knew it very intimately. She held her breath, hoping for some memory that would explain her familiarity with him. “Who are you?” she whispered hoarsely. 

“I’m Ambassador Pallin, your ambassador,” he answered softly, lightly brushing her hair out of the way. “What happened to you, Tania?” he asked, concern filling his eyes. 

Tania stared at him, mesmerized by him. She knew him very well, she was positive of it. She felt even safer with him than she had Valern. _Was he the one?_ He had to be. There was no other explanation for it. He had to be the one she was missing. She remembered the look on his face when she had first met him. He had shown shock, relief, happiness and finally pain when she pushed him away. 

She reached up, lightly brushing the side of his face; resting her forehead against his shoulder as she tried to work through her confusion.

Pallin held absolutely still, lust roaring through his body. He remembered what it felt like to be buried deep with her, having her nails bite into his hardened skin; the sound of her pleas and cries of pleasure as her muscles clenched around him. He couldn’t allow his baser instincts to be released, however. She was Garrus’ and he would make sure she stayed that way. 

His certainty faltered as she brushed lightly against his mandible. He was about to force her to stop, but her tongue replaced her fingers and he groaned low, pulling her tightly against him. He fought with himself; forcing his body to obey his mind. Her final breathless plea destroyed any resistance he had left. “Please…I want to feel again. I don’t want this to be another dream…” she begged.

His will broke and he answered that plea.

He groaned torturously, his mind still fighting what his body wanted; but her pleading gaze made it impossible to refuse her. He didn’t want to do this to Garrus. He knew he should push her away, but he couldn’t; not with the fear, pain and loss he felt from her. He had to answer her, if only to ease her loneliness.

He held himself ramrod straight as she brushed against his mandibles once more. He closed his eyes, trying to pretend it was someone else, anyone else; but her scent made a lie of any image his mind conjured. Lust and desire raced through him, but still he fought them. 

“Tania, we can’t do this,” he whispered hoarsely. 

Tania looked into those blue eyes and almost wept. He was denying her. The blue eyes that haunted her didn’t actually want her. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t stand to be shoved away; but if he forced the issue, she would leave. Her heart broke and despair held her in its tight clutches. She was alone again. She thought he was the one and he felt right, but it didn’t matter. She was right to stay with Valern. This guy didn’t want her anymore. 

Pallin saw the despair in her eyes. He saw her closing down, and fear rushed through him. He didn’t know what to do. As gently as he could, he brushed a stray hair from her face. She closed her eyes, pressing her cheeks against his hand, rubbing her scent onto him. 

Something he hadn’t expected flared within him. Dominance - a need to bathe in that scent. With a growl, closer to a roar, he pinned against the wall; all previous thoughts of resisting gone. 

His sharp teeth grazed her skin, tasting her, scenting her deeply. Anger and resentment washed through him as he caught Valern’s territorial scent. He couldn’t allow that to stay. He had to replace it. There was no way Garrus’ mate would wear Valern’s scent. 

Tania gripped tightly to the soft skin beneath his fringe, her nails digging in as pleasure she hadn’t known she could feel rushed through her. 

Clothes disappeared and claws bit deep into soft skin, drawing blood. Sharp teeth embedded themselves, holding her firmly in place as he tasted every inch of her skin. He bathed her with his own scent, erasing Valern’s. 

He lifted her in his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. He was going to move to the desk, but she lowered herself onto him until he was firmly sheathed inside of her. Her muscles clamped around him as she cried out her pleasure. Pallin shuddered and his body shook from the force of will it took not to move. He wanted to thrust violently into her. He wanted to hear her scream, but this was wrong. He had to stop this. 

Shepard felt him hesitate, and she couldn’t allow it. She needed him. He was her only safe port, even more than Valern. She knew this now. She lowered herself onto him roughly once more, taking him deep within her. Her mouth latched onto his mandibles and that was all it took. 

She closed her eyes, basking in the satisfaction when he finally lost control; He was no longer trying to shove her away. He moved roughly within her, each movement sending jolts of pleasure through her body. Each time he dug his claws into her skin, marking her, greater pleasure raced through her. There was no place for pain. 

She felt her orgasm bursting over her and screamed her release, his name echoing in the office. She was home, where she belonged…finally. She felt him release deep within her, filling her with his seed. If she could have made the purring sound he was, she would have been doing it in that final moment with him. 

He raised his head to look at her, to make sure he hadn’t harmed her too greatly. His bite mark still wept, but she didn’t seem to mind. He was about to say something, but she shocked him silent. He sat there stiffly as she gently placed her forehead against his. 

Pallin didn’t know what to do. He decided it would be best to just ignore the action. When she once again returned to the Citadel, he would be sure that he was nowhere to be found. She had just committed herself to him, telling him that she would take no other because she loved him.   

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard boarded the Normandy just as day shift was starting. Joker was sleeping in his leather chair. She was about to head for her room when Joker’s voice stopped her. “Are we still leaving?” Joker asked, eyeing her warily. 

She turned to him and noticed his eyes widen; his gaze lingering on Valern’s bite mark. “Problem?” she asked, narrowing her eyes in warning. 

“Just wondering which turian from your past bit you?” he asked, watching her carefully. _Garrus was just going to love this,_ he thought with a roll of his eyes. If Garrus found out about this, there would be bloodshed. He was hoping it was no one from her past, but he knew that he was probably wrong. 

“Valern did. Pallin, as well,” she answered, smirking as he blinked slowly. There was a lot he wanted to say, but anything that came out of his mouth right now would be bad. She had given him good cannon fodder for a lifetime of ribbing.  

He watched her turn away and shook his head. The Normandy just got interesting and Garrus isn’t even here. If they ever did pick him up, the pilot wanted front row seats. Joker couldn’t believe the Turian Councilor would actually do this. A part of him found it amusing. Valern was well known for hating humans. But Shepard had his attention in more ways than one, it appeared. And now her ambassador was added to the mix. Yep – interesting wasn’t even close to the right word… 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard thought of her time with Valern. She had pleasure with him, but it was nothing compared to Pallin.  

She still couldn’t believe that she bit Valern, but she had. A part of her hand found it erotic. There was still one part of her brain that wouldn’t shut up. It kept rearing its ugly head, telling her it was wrong.

She thought about the promise she made and smirked. He made her promise that she would return after she picked up the first dossier, but she wasn’t going to. She planned on picking up the vigilante and Mordin Solis before she would even consider going back. Shepard’s brow furrowed as the doctor’s name crossed her mind. She thought she knew the name, but wasn’t sure. The only thing that came to her when she said the name was pain. She wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

“Mr. Moreau, how long until we reach the prison in the Osun system?” she asked. 

“Four days, Commander,” he answered. “We are just heading through the relay,” he stated, and she could have sworn she heard a note of anticipation in his voice. She didn’t understand why that would be. 

So, in four days she would be picking up her first dossier. Then she would do the ones awaiting her on Omega – the scientist, the vigilante and the bounty hunter. After that, she would return back to the Citadel. Until then, she wouldn’t be alone. Valern had promised to stay in close contact with her until the moment she came back to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Pallin sat behind his desk, grinning smugly at the data pad sitting on his desk. He’d found him, and wasn’t shocked by what he found. Garrus had gotten himself into a mess of trouble. He was now going by the name Archangel. Pallin chuckled as he thought of Valern. _This will teach to him to mess around with Tania._

He sent a quick message to Tania, marking it urgent. He hoped that she would receive the message before she collected that convict. He wanted her to bring Garrus onboard her ship before Valern could do any more damage.

Pallin wasn’t sure what he was going to do with Valern. He knew what it would probably come down to, but Pallin would have to move quickly so that he would be next in line _if_ the situation became that volatile. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Tania stared at the message on her personal terminal. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Pallin said it was urgent that she collect Archangel. He also stated that the vigilante was in imminent danger and she would lose her chance to recruit him if she waited around. It annoyed her that he was asking this of her. She already had everything planned, but now that plan wasn’t working out. 

She was still annoyed when she reached Mr. Moreau  and he watched her expectantly. “It looks like someone other than Cerberus wants to call the shots. Pallin says we are to go to Omega and collect Archangel immediately,” she muttered, not bothering to hide her anger. 

Joker watched her and held in his laughter. He had been expecting her. Executor Pallin had sent him the new coordinates, explaining that it was Garrus’ current location. The turian actually contacted him via videoconference to give him the news. He was surprised that Pallin would even wish to talk to him. He’d only met the turian once and that was during a ceremony where the Council gave Shepard praise for saving the Citadel. 

“Orders, Commander?” he asked, a vile taste entering his mouth from being so formal. He knew she saw the disgust in his face, but he didn’t care. The Shepard he knew would have stolen his hat and ordered him to call her Shepard or Tania or he wouldn’t get his hat back. She had done that the very first time he had used her official title. 

“I have no choice but to go after this Archangel,” she muttered. “Pallin is my Ambassador and I have to listen to him.” She shrugged nonchalantly, but Joker could see the anger lurking below the surface.

Though she seemed to relent, nothing this Shepard did would surprise him. She may simply ignore the command or change it to suit her needs. He sat there impatiently as she stared blankly at him. It was eerie to watch. “Commander?” he asked quietly. 

“Sorry, Joker…” she murmured distantly before walking away; her eyes still distant as he stared at her back in shock. That had just been Tania Shepard Vakarian, not this new Shepard. He grinned as he watched her walk away. _It’s only matter of time before the old Shepard comes back,_ he thought with a large smile.

Joker plotted a course for Omega, where Garrus awaited them. He couldn’t wait for that particular turian to board. After what happened with Pallin and Valern, he was anxious to see Garrus’ reaction. He knew things were going to change around here and the Councilor would only be safe if he started running immediately. He wasn’t sure what Garrus would do to Pallin, but he was sure it wasn’t going to be nice. Tania was Garrus’ and no one could dispute that. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Miranda sat at her desk, running her finger over Shepard’s control unit. She had put the receiver inside Shepard’s brain, connecting it to her implant when she found out that she wouldn’t have any memory. She worried about using it, however. She wasn’t sure what the repercussions would be, but she needed a way to keep this Shepard under control. The Normandy’s commander was a walking bomb that could go off at any time. 

Miranda absently tapped the long thin device against the desk, going through the list of pros and cons of using the device. As far as she was concerned, the pros outweighed the cons. One - Shepard had no memory and that made her a wild card. Two - Shepard already wanted her dead. Three - this Shepard wasn’t the same as the ‘old one’. These facts were too big to ignore. So she would keep the device and use it when necessary. If Shepard left the ship late at night again instead of continuing with the mission, she would have to use it. The final goal was too important.

She wasn’t sure what to do about Jacob. He didn’t know about the implant and she knew he wouldn’t agree with it if he ever found out. She’d also noticed that Shepard seemed to be warming to him and she wasn’t sure what to make of the change in attitude. At first she thought it was because she was interested in him, but now she scoffed at that idea. She’d seen the bite marks on Shepard early this morning and realized that her commander wasn’t attracted to human men. She was relieved that Shepard hadn’t noticed her standing in a corner, watching her come aboard the ship after her night out.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~ 

Tania stood in front of the doctor’s office. She didn’t want to be here, but the doctor said she had to come down for a scan. She glanced around and noticed that quite a few crew members were sitting around having their lunch; some of them watching her closely. She knew they were wondering what she was seeing the doctor for, but she didn’t care to enlighten them. 

She sighed and walked through the door. An older woman with grey hair and a soft smile sat on a chair facing her. Shepard’s heart raced as she stared at the woman. 

_Pain lanced through her as a friendly face stared down at her. Her shoulder ached, but she wasn’t upset at the doctor. She knew the woman wouldn’t intentionally harm her._

“Dr. Chakwas?” Shepard asked, searching the woman’s face for anything that would give her more memories. She knew this woman, and felt sure that she wouldn’t harm her. 

Chakwas watched her carefully. She’d been informed that Tania had no memory of her past. That worried her a lot; a person who had no memory sometimes lost their personality, as well. She hoped that wasn’t the case with Shepard. 

“Shepard, take a seat,” she said and motioned to one of the beds. “All I’m doing this time is scanning you, to make sure that everything is working properly,” she explained, smiling gently. 

Tania allowed her irritation to show and took a seat. She held perfectly still as the doctor ran the scan over her. She couldn’t relax even if she wanted to. The woman ran the scanner over her head. “Your implant and biotic readings always confounded me; even more so now than when I first saw them. You’re the only human I know who has lived through four exposures of element zero,” the doctor murmured. 

“You sound like you know my biotics personally,” Shepard commented, fishing for any information she could get of her past from this woman. 

Chakwas chuckled, “Oh, yes. While you were chasing after Saren there was a problem with your implant and it had to be replaced. I was one of the doctors involved in that procedure. Let’s just say it was a learning curve - one that I wouldn’t wish to repeat.”

“What do your readings say?” Shepard asked quietly. 

“Your biotics are in the normal range, for you. Your reproductive organs are still developing, so you should be getting your menstruation shortly. At the rate they are developing, I estimate several weeks at most,” Chakwas explained. Though most of the readings were normal, there was something that bothered her. There were unusual readings in Shepard’s brain that weren’t there years ago. She would have to look at it more carefully and try to determine the cause. The biggest concern about the abnormality was its location. It was directly next to her cortex, near her implant. “You’re free to go,” Chakwas told her. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Shepard moved into the Mess Hall, taking a seat at one of the empty tables. She was shocked when someone placed a plate in front of her. She glanced at the man. Every time she came in here he would place a plate of food in front of her; yet she didn’t even know his name. “Who are you?” she asked. 

“My name is Gardener. I’m the ship’s cook. I also take care of small repairs on the ship,” he answered before walking away. He didn’t know what Cerberus saw in this woman to bring her back from the dead. She had no confidence. He expected Shepard to be eye deep in confidence, but this woman wasn’t anything special. She was like every ordinary woman you would pass on a street. He wasn’t sure how she would succeed in defeating the Collectors. She had no fire in her eyes - they were dead. He was having second and third thoughts about being on this ship; but he’d signed a contract and he would stay. The sad part was that he wasn’t the only one worrying about their new commander. No one on this ship felt safe enough to go against the Collectors, not with this Shepard in charge. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Shepard sat in front of her of computer, Valern had messaged her and she was trying to set up a video call. It took a while for the connection, but she didn’t mind. It gave her time to get her thoughts together. She smirked when she saw Valern’s image flicker in front of her. 

“Tania, good to see you again,” Valern murmured. 

“I’m just returning your call. You said it was important,” she reminded him.

Valern narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t sure how to ask this question without giving too much away or alerting her to the fact that there is a problem. He sighed deeply. “Tania, I’ve been informed that you will be picking someone up by the name of Archangel?” Valern asked stiffly. He hoped this didn’t bring on too many questions. 

“Yes, we are heading to pick him up right now. Pallin ordered it, actually,” she grumbled, anger brightening her eyes. 

Valern stopped, panic rushing through him. _Pallin was stepping in. This could make things a lot more complicated for me,_ he thought irritably. Spirits, he didn’t know what to do. Pallin was too powerful to touch. The ambassador had too many supporters. 

“Why did you want to know about Archangel?” she asked, her curiosity piqued. 

“Tania, he’s not someone you can trust. He used to be part of your team and then left you to work in C-Sec. I hate to tell you this, but there was a romance between the two of you and he left you. I don’t want to see you hurt again. I would suggest that you avoid him until…” he said softly, trying to make it sound believable. He just hoped that he succeeded. 

Tania sat silently, not sure about what he told her. A funny feeling in her gut told her there was something off about it. She ignored that feeling and trusted him. She didn’t believe that he would lie to her. So she would take his warning to heart and keep a close eye on this Archangel. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Joker sat leaned back in his chair glaring at the holographic display of EDI. She annoyed him to no end. He couldn’t do anything fun without her interfering. He was about to say something scathing, but stopped when he heard the ‘new Shepard’s’ footsteps. He turned slowly in his chair to face her and wondered what she wanted. 

“How long until we reach Omega?” she asked when she reached him. 

“That’s it right there, I’m about to dock,” he told her, motioning to the view screen. 

“What should I expect out there?” she asked, feeling nervous when she saw the planet. 

“Drugs, gangs, prostitution, embezzlement, murder - all kinds of fun things,” he answered with a smirk. 

“Hmm, maybe Valern was right. Archangel isn’t trustworthy,” she murmured. Joker’s head whipped to hers, his eyes narrowing. 

“I don’t know what Valern told you about Archangel, but I know one thing for certain. He wouldn’t be affiliated with any of the groups here. If anything, he would be fighting to clean this place up. That’s the way he was,” Joker bit out. 

“What else can you tell me about him? Valern said he left my team,” Tania told him, hoping she might get the truth from him. 

“Yes he left, with your permission. Actually, it was your idea. He wanted to become a Spectre so he left for training. You were going to be the Spectre that did his testing. The two of you talked every day; sometimes two or three times a day. I don’t know what the Turian Councilor said to you, but so far it’s been a lie. Archangel would never have abandoned you, not willingly,” Joker snapped, a scowl set solidly in his features. 

“I don’t know who to believe,” Tania said quietly, shaking her head in frustration. These were the times when she wished she had her memory. She watched Joker for a moment and wondered if he would lie to her. She decided he wouldn’t. He had nothing to gain from it. He’d been honest with her so far, so why would he lie about this? Maybe she couldn’t trust Valern after all. She knew for certain that he wasn’t the one from her dreams. She now knew it was Pallin and he had ordered her to go after this turian. So maybe now she would have to watch herself around Valern and not believe everything he might tell her. That thought hurt, but she couldn’t ignore it. 

“Thanks, maybe you’re right. Maybe Valern can’t be trusted,” she sighed. “Tell Miranda and Jacob to suit up.”  

“Aye, aye, Commander,” Joker said with a small smile. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Shepard stepped onto Omega and wrinkled her nose at the odors coming from the marketplace. She glanced around and spotted a four eyed alien that she knew to be a batarian, waiting for her at the dock. Beyond him was a human male, obviously involved in an altercation with a second batarian. She wondered if that was Zaeed Massani. It looked like his photo, but she couldn’t be sure. 

She scowled as the batarian ordered her to see Aria, whoever the hell that was. She wasn’t going until she was good and ready, no matter what that ass said. 

She moved closer to the human. “Zaeed Massani?” she asked with a raised brow. 

“Yes, and you must be Shepard,” Zaeed answered. He gave the small woman a once over and wasn’t impressed with what he saw. This woman was supposed to lead them through a dangerous mission? That seemed highly doubtful. He thought about rejecting Cerberus’ offer, but it was a lot of money. For the time being, he would play along.

He still couldn’t believe this wisp of a woman was the famous Commander Shepard. She didn’t have the confidence that he was expecting. She looked fragile - too fragile to be a commander. It wasn’t her build or her size, but the way she held herself. It was as if she was scared of something. 

“Once you’re finished here, place your stuff onboard the Normandy and meet me in Afterlife,” she ordered. Zaeed thought about challenging her just to see what she was capable of, but decided to wait. Now wasn’t the time. 

Shepard spoke to him a few more minutes, finding out that she had no choice but to do a mission for him. She didn’t like it, but she would do it. She watched as he walked away with his prisoner. She wasn’t sure what to make of him. 

Miranda took the lead, heading for Aria. Shepard followed her, not sure about this place. It was loud and crowded, but the atmosphere set her off. She wasn’t sure what it was about it, but it didn’t sit well with her. She was nervous, almost scared and didn’t like it.

She walked up the steps in the back of the bar toward an impeccably dressed asari. No one needed to tell her that this was Aria. The only thing she was missing was a neon sign that read ‘Aria sits here’. Shepard narrowed her eyes as a batarian stepped close, waving a scanner over her. 

“What makes you think you are going to be able to scan me with that?” she sneered, glaring at the batarian. 

“The scan is non-negotiable,” Aria stated firmly.  

Shepard smirked coldly, allowing the man to scan her. When he finished, she reached out for the scanner and shoved a surge of biotic energy into it. “Oops,” Tania said and smiled sweetly at Aria. “As I said, I don’t like to be scanned.”

“You want to talk to me, you better allow the scan,” Aria bit out. 

Zaeed moved up beside the two humans that followed Shepard. He had watched her fry the scanner and raised his brow. He hadn’t thought that was possible. “What’s going on?” he asked the guy. 

“Shepard wants to talk to Aria, but Aria wants to scan her,” Jacob answered. 

They watched as Shepard raised her hand toward Aria. Zaeed’s eyes widened when he noticed the blue glow emanating from her fingertips. He wasn’t sure what she was up to and worried that she was about to fuck up their chances of getting the other two dossiers that she was supposed to collect. He was about to step in and do something, but he wasn’t sure which path to take. Turned out his help wasn’t needed. 

“Aria, do you really think I am going to allow you to scan me; especially when it’s common knowledge that Cerberus resurrected me? Do you think I will allow anyone to have that information?” Shepard scoffed. “I don’t fucking think so. If you’re looking for weapons, then yes I am armed. I am not going anywhere without my weapons. If it’s listening devices you are worried about, there is no need. They don’t work on me - my biotics disrupt them,” Shepard told her with a sneering smile. 

Aria narrowed her eyes. She believed the human. She could feel her biotics from across the room and knew that what she said was true. She nodded her head slowly. “Fine. What do you want?” she asked. 

“I want Archangel and Mordin Solis,” Shepard stated. 

“You and everyone else want Archangel. He has every major gang on Omega after him. Right now they seem to have formed a momentary alliance and are about to take him out. This is the first time I’ve ever seen that,” Aria murmured. She’d heard of Shepard, but couldn’t believe this was her. She was expecting someone more dangerous. This woman didn’t have that edge of danger to her, unless you considered her use of biotics. But she was only human, after all. She may be the best that humanity has to offer when it comes to biotics; but that didn’t mean much, as far as Aria was concerned. 

Shepard listened to what she had to say. So, Archangel had pissed off all the gangs here. After what Mr. Moreau said she wasn’t surprised. The more she heard, the more she believed that Valern lied to her. She wasn’t pleased with that discovery as she had put her faith in him. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

They decided to go after Mordin Solis first. It was a judgment call. They would need a really good doctor to patch up Archangel, should Aria’s story be true. Shepard was pretty sure that even if she got to him in time, he would still need medical care. There was no way he could survive three separate gangs going after him. After doing some research, she found out that the main attack against Archangel wouldn’t happen for another day, so she knew she had time to retrieve the professor before heading his way. 

Finding Mordin Solis required them to travel through a war-torn infected zone in the middle of Omega, but at last they reached his supposed medical clinic. She could see a lot of sick people and wondered what he was doing about it. Seeing woman and children coughing bothered her to a point; but after all she’d been through, she found it easier and easier to close off her emotions. It was becoming easier not to care. 

Following the directions of the clinic staff, she moved to a room in the back of the facility. The salarian was looking over data on his omnitool and comparing it to information on his computer. “Mordin Solis?” Shepard asked.

Mordin glanced up and his eyes widened. He couldn’t believe it - the Turian Councilor had been right. Commander Shepard was standing here in front of him. She had searched him out; for what reason he didn’t know, but he was shocked to see her in his clinic. 

“Commander Shepard, didn’t think I would see you again. Heard you died,” Mordin said, covering up his shock. He watched her intently and noticed some changes. Her posture was different, her eyes were cold and distant, and she wore a sneering smile. Her natural confidence also seemed to be absent. This wasn’t the woman he remembered.

“Ah, another person who knows me. Joy! As I’ve told everyone else, the Shepard you knew is dead and gone,” she spat. She hated this! The professor obviously knew her and yet she knew nothing about him. 

“Yes, can see that. You’re different and not in a good way,” Mordin told her bluntly; not really caring if she tried to harm him. He didn’t think that would be possible. She didn’t seem capable anymore. 

“That’s your opinion. I’m here to collect you for a mission,” Tania stated coldly.

“What mission is that?” Mordin asked curiously. 

“I’m going against the Collectors. I need the best team if we are to survive and I am told you are the best in your field,” Tania muttered. 

“Can’t leave. Still need to get cure out,” Mordin told her. He thought about turning his back on her, but he didn’t trust this Commander Shepard enough to do that. He wouldn’t have put it past her to do something to force his hand. “Have possible solution. You put cure through the ventilation system to help this entire ward and I will join you. Also want you to keep a watch out for my assistant, Daniel. He’s took cure to some people and hasn’t returned.”

“Fine, I’ll do this, but your ass had better be ready when I get back,” Shepard bit out, glaring at the salarian. 

“Will be ready and will join you,” Mordin told her. He knew he had more work ahead than just figuring out how to destroy the Collectors. He needed to figure out what happened to Shepard. For a dangerous mission like this, they would need the old Shepard; not this cold one.

He watched as she turned her back, running an inconspicuous scan over her. He read over the results quickly and his eyes widened. He needed to put the Commander under immediately to remove the alien chip his equipment indicated was located near her biotic implant. He knew it wasn’t possible at this exact moment, but it would be his first priority when they boarded her ship.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~ 

The professor owed her big time for doing this. The trip to the ventilation room was one ugly fight after another. This was the first time she had used her biotics this much and she was getting a headache from it. She wasn’t impressed. When they finally returned to his clinic, Tania marched straight to his side; a furious expression on her face. 

“The cure has been placed in the ventilation system and your student has been found. Now you need to get your ass to the Normandy!” she ordered coldly. 

“Will be leaving here shortly for your ship,” Mordin told her. He waited for the gun to be pulled, but nothing happened. Mordin glanced at Shepard and noticed that she was rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Sit!” he ordered.

Tania scowled, but followed his order and took a seat on a nearby chair. Her eyes narrowed when she saw the needle in his hand. “You bring that needle near me and I’ll shove it up your ass,” she growled. 

“Only way to make headache disappear,” Mordin told her and moved quickly; grabbing her arm and injecting the medicine into her. She didn’t have time to react before he was well out of her reach once again. 

He smirked as she glowered at him. His smirk turned into a smile as the commander began chuckling, shaking her head at him. “Quick, aren’t you?” she asked, her eyes bright and smiling. This was the Shepard he remembered meeting. He looked into her eyes and saw the confidence that was missing. The danger that she once exuded had returned, as well. This was the true Commander Shepard and he swore in that moment that he would help her return permanently. A few moments later, she lost that confidence and air of danger and once more became a fragile human. 

Zaeed watched what transpired carefully. It was almost as if there were two different people inside a single woman’s body. This one he didn’t trust. She was erratic, dangerous and suicidal to a point. The other person who looked out of her eyes just moments ago is the one he would follow. That was what he imagined Shepard should be. He now realized that his new boss had a split personality and that could be deadly for anyone who stayed at her side. He suddenly didn’t like this contract very much.

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Shepard stood at the airlocks once more; this time with Mordin, Zaeed and Miranda. She was starting to respect Jacob now. He was a good fighter, took orders without question and didn’t have a problem being used as a lure during dangerous missions. At first he’d looked at her with concern when she suggested it; but after he saw that she wasn’t trying to have him killed, he stopped arguing. 

Now she was going to try out Miranda, but she wasn’t expecting to be impressed. She didn’t like that woman. Though she had the Illusive Man’s permission to kill them, she knew she wasn’t going to kill Jacob. Miranda, on the other hand, was still a possibility…

Shepard’s eyes widened as she saw the guard on the door. She hadn’t expected to fight right in the bar, but nothing surprised her anymore. She let her biotics flow over her and Miranda took a step back from her. “Don’t worry, Miranda, I’m not killing you today,” Shepard said, grinning evilly at her. 

Miranda narrowed her eyes and yearned to press the button on the control switch, but decided not to do it. Not yet, at least. If Shepard became too out of control, then she would press it. 

Shepard walked past the guards and stood in front of the mercenary recruiter. “Looks like we have fresh meet,” the batarian drawled. 

Shepard glanced over to Miranda. “I’m sure if you pay her enough she’ll put out,” she replied and winked at the batarian. 

Zaeed chuckled, but Mordin kept silent; not sure what to make of Shepard’s twisted humor. 

“Wasn’t talking about her. I was talking about you,” the batarian snickered. 

“Well now, that is different. If it’s me you want, then we have a problem,” Shepard murmured. She let her hands flare bright before grabbing the batarian by the neck and nearly pulling him over the table. His partner made to move forward and stop her, but she held him place with her biotics. “The first one to move wrong gets my hand through their chest,” she told them with a challenging smile. “Now I want Archangel and you are going to get me to him or…” she murmured, snapping the neck of the batarian she held while staring into his companion’s eyes. “We understand each other?”

“Yeah, there is a shuttle leaving soon that will take you to him,” he muttered hurriedly. 

“So glad you could help me,” she laughed as she walked away. 

Mordin watched the scene play out and shook his head in disappointment. Zaeed narrowed his eyes. The killing didn’t bother him, but the look in her eyes bothered him immensely. She was too calm, as if she had enjoyed killing that batarian. The Shepard he had heard about wouldn’t have done that; not unless pushed. 

Miranda watched and feared for herself. She knew Shepard planned on killing her, but she thought she would be able to talk her way out. Now she knew that wouldn’t be possible. This Shepard enjoyed killing. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Garrus knelt next to the wall, scoping out the next batch of fodder jumping over the wall. He prayed that he would somehow come out of this mess alive. He wanted to see his wife, hold her in his arms. He wanted to taste her skin, smell her scent, and hear her voice as she put things back in perspective for him. 

He shot the first intruder and was about to take out the next one when someone else interfered. Blue biotic power caught the guy and he was thrown into the wall; the impact heard even from Archangel’s position. He turned his scope to the person who had thrown him. 

His mind stilled and his legs collapsed beneath him. His heart was racing and he felt relief and safety. His wife was here…she was here with him. Coming to him. He would see his wife soon. He wanted to weep in relief; he wanted to shout his joy. She was alive. But all he could do was sit on the floor, listening to them fight below him. He couldn’t help them even if they needed it. He was stunned…

A part of him hadn’t actually believed it was possible to bring her back, but now she was here. The first tear trickled down his cheek. He would have his wife in his arms soon. Years…years of anguish, sorrow and pain weighed heavily on him. He needed his wife….he needed Tania.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Tania took lead, still snickering about Cathka, the Blue Suns mechanic-slash-mercenary leader who was working on Tarak’s gunship. He’d turned his back and she had killed him. Now she didn’t have to worry about that ship creating havoc for her party. She’d reprogrammed the Eclipse mechs to make sure they stayed out of her way, as well.

“So, what do we do about Archangel?” Zaeed asked. 

“Save his ass. What else is there to do?” she sneered. 

Zaeed shook his head irritably. He already knew that part of the plan. He was looking for specifics, but he wasn’t going to bother explaining it to this woman. He watched as she moved forward onto the bridge. His sight was now on Archangel, and something told him this was going to be interesting. The guy had stopped firing and slid to the floor as if he had been shot. Something told Zaeed that these two knew each other. 

They moved over the bridge, killing all resistance. After clearing the main floor of Archangel’s base, they headed up the stairs to confront him. Shepard stepped into a room to their left, and the mercenary didn’t immediately follow her inside. He could only take her in small amounts. 

Shepard walked over to the bed, a scent coming to her. It was so familiar, but she couldn’t place it. Memories swamped her. She knew this scent - her heart raced and her tense muscles relaxed as she took in a deeper scent. 

_She curls up to a soft pillow, his scent still strong upon it. She hears him moving around the room and a contentedness fills her._

_“Mate, it’s time to rise,” he whispers. She feels his solid frame leaning over her, his breath fanning her cheek. She feels one of his mandibles fluttering against her cheek and smiles contentedly._

_“Why don’t you come back to bed and wake me properly?” she murmurs huskily, pulling on his three fingered hand. His growl of pleasure fills the room as he finds her body already wet and wanting._

_“With pleasure, mate,” his raspy voice slithers over her, tightening her body. She reaches for him, her eyes closed, going to the place on his body that she loves the most - his neck. The softened skin breaks beneath her teeth and a sweet tasting flavor hits her tongue, making her moan. His arms tighten around her and he purrs his pleasure as she marks him once more._

_Images of her and the turian making love flash before her eyes, along with whispered words that she can’t hear._

_They lay curled next to each other, holding each other. “I have to leave. Pallin is waiting for me,” he murmurs, pulling away from her reluctantly. “I’ll talk to you soon. I love you, my mate,” he whispers before vanishing._

Her eyes flicked open; she hadn’t realized that she closed them. She was sitting on the bed, holding a pillow in her arms. It was close to her body, and her nose was buried in it. She was shaking; the memory had been as real as if it had only just occurred. She glanced around, her eyes falling on Miranda and Zaeed. 

She met Miranda’s eyes. “You took everything from me. I don’t even know who he is, but you took him from me,” she whispered accusingly. 

“We did what we had to in order to bring you back. It was your life or you memories, and we made a choice,” Miranda bit out. 

“Yes, and by taking my memories you took everything I knew; everything I was. I hope you got what you wanted,” Shepard sneered as she rose to her feet. “Let’s get Archangel and get the fuck out of here.”

She led the way to the door on the opposite side of the hall. She was shocked to see a turian standing there, waiting for them. She was almost sure he wore a smile on his face. Her eyes widened when he moved toward her quickly; and before she could think of reacting, he had her in his arms. “God, Shepard, I thought I’d lost you forever until Mordin told me they were bringing you back,” he whispered. She felt him take a deep breath and stiffen. 

Garrus scented his mate and anger roared through him. He didn’t know who’d marked her, but it was the last thing they would ever do. He finally had his wife back and he wasn’t going to lose her now. The most shocking fact was that she had allowed the intrusion of another male. That angered him beyond anything he’d ever known. 

Shepard froze, his scent playing havoc with her senses. His closeness had an immediate effect on her body. She was already wet and ready for him. For the first time, she actually relaxed while touching someone. She finally felt safe and contented; as if the precious piece of herself that was missing had been returned. The strength of the feelings terrified her. She couldn’t allow this - there was something wrong. “I don’t know who you are, but you better let me go,” she warned breathlessly. 

Garrus moved back and saw the mixture of desire and fear in her eyes. That was something he never thought to see in his mate’s gaze. It took a moment for her words to sink in; but when they did, they were like a cold shower. “What do you mean ‘you don’t know who I am’?” he growled, grasping her arms tightly. 

“What part of ‘I don’t know who you are’ didn’t you understand?” she asked snidely. 

“All of it?” Garrus answered with a smirk. He raised a brow ridge when she looked at him, confused. He finally took a moment to really look at his wife and immediately recognized the changes in her. They might have brought her back, but they left a few pieces of her behind. This was his wife; her scent hadn’t changed, other than the turian scent on her. Her voice was still the same, though not as certain. From what he could see of her body, it was still the same; but her mind obviously wasn’t. 

“Let’s try this instead. I have no memory. The Shepard you knew is dead,” she stated, rolling her eyes. She really should get that tattooed on her forehead soon. It would be a lot easier then having to repeat it over and over again.

“No memory? What the hell happened?” he roared. The Shepard he knew wouldn’t have flinched; she would have met him squarely and not backed down. This one came close to cowering. 

“If you want to know so bad, ask her,” she said and motioned to a dark haired woman standing behind her. “She’s the one who gave the order to take my memories. And if you are planning to kill her, think again. That pleasure is mine alone.” 

Garrus’ brow ridge rose when he heard her words. They sounded like Shepard, but they weren’t her words. This was not the woman he knew. “So which turian marked you?” Garrus asked. He had to know the truth, no matter how much it would pain him to hear it. 

“And why should I tell you?” she sneered, looking at him incredulously. 

Garrus took a challenging step closer to her, taking over her personal space. He noticed that no one moved to defend her, which was odd. Tania’s former crew would never have allowed such disrespect of the commanding officer. “Because you are my wife,” Garrus bit out, “or did they forget to tell you that you were married?”

“They didn’t tell me shit and why should I believe you?” Tania spat. There was a slight vulnerability to her voice that everyone detected. 

“This conversation will take a while. We should figure out how to get away from here first,” Mordin reminded them. 

“Too true,” Shepard murmured, walking by the turian. She stiffened when she felt him right behind her.

“And we will continue this later, wife,” Garrus warned her as he took his place at her back. She glanced back at him; in her eyes he saw fear, but also hope. He planned on getting to the bottom of this as soon as they were out of this mess.     

Garrus knelt down and scoped out the three mercs that jumped over the barricade. He passed her the gun and watched as she struggled with the weight and the bulkiness of it. He found it amusing as he watched her. He gave a low growl of approval when her first shot caught her enemy between the eyes. She may not remember him and may not trust him, but he couldn’t back off; even if she wanted it. There was no way he was leaving her, not when she had just returned to him. This other turian was a problem that he was going to rectify as soon as possible.

He watched as she walked away from him, heading down the stairs. “Where is she going?” Miranda scowled as they watched her walk away. 

“She’s going to do what she does best,” Garrus told them as he covered her from above. 

Mordin moved up beside him, his eyes widening as he watched Shepard in action for the first time. She threw people around easily, or lifted them high in the air and slammed them back down onto the ground; killing them instantly. The rest of the group covered her; catching any enemies that she missed or ignored. 

Zaeed worked with Shepard downstairs and was impressed. Something was different about her now, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He watched her move; she seemed to have more confidence, and was more graceful on the field than she had been when they collected the professor. He glanced up at the turian and wondered how much of this new attitude was due to him. 

Shepard ignored the turian covering her. She knew it was him, the one she was missing, but she couldn’t think about that now. He messed with her mind; she couldn’t think straight with him and that scared her. What was worse is that he had the same scent that was in the bedroom; the same one from her past. She remembered that vision or memory vividly. She could still taste his skin, and feel his arms around her, but she couldn’t see his face. “Shepard, we should regroup and come up with a plan,” Garrus commented. He knew better than to order her about. He wasn’t sure how this new Shepard would react, but he wasn’t taking any chances.

She scowled up at him. “I’ll be there when I am damned good and ready,” she snapped and slowly made her way to him. She knew it was childish to behave that way, but he irked her. 

Zaeed hid his smirk. Shepard now had fire in her eyes. It was interesting how much this turian affected her. He couldn’t wait until the main confrontation came. Now that one would be interesting. He still couldn’t believe that she was married to him, but the turian hadn’t seemed like he was lying. Maybe this guy could straighten her out.

His thoughts turned to Miranda. She was the one who started all of this. He knew she had a lot to answer for and he was sure that this turian would get his answers. The professor seemed to know her, as well, and he wondered how many more people they were going to meet that knew her in one way or another. 

                                                                                ~oooooo~

The Eclipse and Blood Pack mercs were dead, and they were now fighting Tarak and his Blue Suns soldiers. Shepard watched as Garrus was shot down. Without thinking she reacted, her body moved toward his. She laid her hands on his chest, shoving her biotic energy into him. He gasped and coughed before opening his eyes and gazing up at her. She stared transfixed, not able to tear her gaze away. What she saw there stopped her breath, and made her heart race. She saw his love and his utter confidence in her; something she hadn’t seen from anyone since her return. 

She grabbed the grenade launcher off her back and laid on the trigger until Tarak’s gunship smoked and plummeted to a fiery death. She glanced back at the turian and her mind shut down. Her body, however, knew what to do. She was on autopilot, but wasn’t in the driver seat. She knelt beside him, her hand reaching out and tracing the surviving blue tattoos that matched his brilliant blue eyes. Mordin tried to move her out of the way. After several attempts, he gave up and worked around her. She didn’t care; her body wouldn’t move, even if she tried to make it. 

His clawed hand reached out and grasped hers firmly; his eyes held hers as each breath labored from him. She allowed her hand to glow, allowing his body to absorb her biotic energy. It was something she had dreamt about, but didn’t know was possible. Now she knew. 

She felt Mordin back away. She vaguely heard him talking to someone, but she didn’t care at the moment. Her main focus was the turian lying on the ground, surrounded by his own blood. “Shepard, we need you to give the order for the Normandy to make an emergency pick up,” Mordin told her. 

“Moreau, we need an emergency pick up on this location. Archangel is down so have Dr. Chakwas prepare for his arrival,” she ordered absently; her eyes still locked with his. 

Zaeed watched them and knew that he was once again looking at a different person. He was nearly sure this was the old Shepard. He hoped that she didn’t order him to follow her on more missions unless that turian was with her. 

He glanced at the black haired woman, Miranda, and finally understood what happened. He had heard the warning Shepard gave about her life and wondered if she would survive to see the next mission. He glanced at the salarian and noticed how he never once asked Shepard to move. His new companion’s reactions made him wonder what the ‘other’ Shepard was like. 


	8. Chapter 8

Tania sat on her bed, her mind a jumble of thoughts. With conflicting information coming from every direction, she now had no idea what to believe. Her reaction to both Archangel and Pallin left her very confused. She’d been certain that Pallin was the one she was missing; now she wasn’t so sure. 

What was amusing is that she didn’t even know the name of the man who had caused such uproar in her life. She only knew him as Archangel. His presence messed with her emotions. Her body reacted to everything about him - his scent, the sound of his voice and his body when he was close. What scared her more than anything was that her mind calmed when she was near him. She found that out when she was destroying one of the gangs that had come through the lower levels of his hideout. She had become frustrated and then he spoke to her. The sound of his voice washed away that frustration and allowed her to think clearly. She felt surer of herself the longer she listened to his voice. 

She knew she’d shocked her other companions when he issued an order to her and she didn’t bite his head off. She’d actually found the situation amusing. She could hear the challenge in his voice, taunting her to reprimand him. That alone told her that she would be able to shove him away. She had decided to stay as far from him as possible, but she had a feeling that it wouldn’t work. He wouldn’t allow it. His challenging looks and taunting voice warned her of his intentions. 

Then there was Pallin. She felt safe with him, comfortable. At first she thought he felt like home, but she had been so wrong. This new turian was home. She knew that now. When he touched her, it was like she’d found the missing piece of herself. It almost made her believe that having no memories didn’t matter; but that was a lie. It mattered. It wasn’t just her memories. Her entire identity had been taken from her, and she knew that she had to get it back. 

She didn’t know what to do now. Archangel scared her. The emotions she felt toward him terrified her. Yet even though he scared her, she has been in the medical bay every day; staying with him. And every time she was there, she had to fight off tears. Her heart would clench each time she saw him lying unconscious, the right side of his face nearly destroyed in the explosion. She found herself tracing the remaining tattoos even though he didn’t know the difference.   

While she would sit there staring at him, Chakwas watched her like a hawk. The knowing look in the physician’s eyes was truly unnerving. Not once did she touch Archangel while Chakwas was present. She couldn’t. She was glad that Mordin was usually the one with her. He gave her the space she needed. He pretended that he didn’t notice anything odd about her behavior.  

Above all this, there was a larger worry - the crew of the Normandy. Not just the ground crew, but the ship crew, as well. She knew they wouldn’t follow her for long; she could see it in their eyes. They were following her right now because they had no choice; but once an option presented itself, most of the crew would be gone. Those that were paid top credits would stay, but they would never place their lives on the line for her. 

So now she had to figure out what was missing from her personality and get it back. She’d begun to wonder if it wasn’t the lack of emotions that kept her from returning to her old self. She prayed that wasn’t the case. She didn’t feel comfortable allowing people close to her. She didn’t know who to trust. That as a lie, of course. She knew that she could trust Jeff Moreau and Mordin Solis; and everything within her told her she could trust Archangel.

Should she listen to that inner voice that been yelling at her? Could she listen to it and handle all those emotions? She had shut them off because someone very close to her had been missing and she felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. But things were different now. She was pretty sure she’d found him - it was either Archangel or Pallin. 

If she took Archangel at his word, then they were married and she was his mate. But could she believe him? What reason did he have to lie? She didn’t know. She wanted to figure it out, but the constant confusion was giving her a headache. She needed to focus on the mission, not her messed up personal life. 

She turned her attention to the aquarium across from her and smiled sadly. Still empty and lifeless, mocking her, showing her what she was - empty.  

Her focus snapped to her computer, informing her that she had an incoming call. She moved quickly, allowing the caller access. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Valern’s face. 

“You lied to me,” she accused coldly. She didn’t bother with pleasantries; she was pissed at him.  

Valern stared at her in shock. For a moment he thought her memories had returned; but if that was the case, it wouldn’t have been just an accusation. “What do you mean?” he asked calmly, hiding his agitation. He needed to think fast, but he needed information before he could cover himself. He just hoped he could pull this off and not lose her again. 

“You told me that Archangel left me. You told me he wasn’t someone I could trust. Why don’t you explain to me why he would say him and I are married? Or better yet, tell me why you would say that he left me. The way he acted on Omega wasn’t the way someone would act if he left me,” Shepard spat. He exhaled slowly as he saw the confusion in her eyes. It wasn’t as bad as he had at first believed it to be. This was fixable. 

“Tania, you loved him. He was a trusted member of your crew and he always had your back in a fight. That is where his dedication ended. I would hate to see you hurt by him again if you took him back. You trusted him with your life and he never betrayed that; but your heart was a different story….” Valern told her quietly. He prayed to the spirits that his reasoning was sound and she would believe it. 

“Shit!” Tania growled in frustration. She laced her fingers through her hair, pulling it tightly until she felt pain in her scalp. Now she was even more confused. Everything Valern said sounded true and she couldn’t argue with him on his logic. But her gut was telling her something different and she didn’t know which to believe. “I need time to sort this all out. I’ll contact you in a while,” she muttered tiredly, breaking communications before he could say anything else. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

She stood with Jacob in the conference room. She had requested his input on the remaining dossiers. She called it a test of his observation skills, but she knew he didn’t see it that way. He thought that she was fine with him and wasn’t going to kill him. He was partially right. She wasn’t planning on killing him, but that didn’t mean she was ‘fine with him’.

“I talked to Mordin. He said Archangel should pull through,” Jacob commented. 

“If he doesn’t then we’ll have to find someone with his talents to replace him,” Tania shrugged, trying to hide her concern. It’d been about four days since the turian took those bullets, and he was still unconscious. 

Jacob raised a brow. He could hear the worry in her voice, but decided to keep his observations to himself. He’d heard that the turian had declared that he was her husband. He was shocked when he heard the news, though he shouldn’t have been. It was already a documented fact that the Turian Councilor has contacted the commander on many occasions; the latest time being only a few days ago. So if she was close to one turian, why not more?  

Tania listened to what he had to say with only half an ear. Archangel’s condition bothered her more than she wanted to admit. She was actually scared that he wouldn’t pull through; for a while things had been touch and go. Mordin didn’t think he would pull through, but he still had some ideas he wanted to try before declaring him a lost cause. She hoped that whatever he wanted to try would succeed. 

She was about to dismiss Jacob when the doors to the conference room opened. Her mind went blank as she stared at the one alien that had been consuming most of her thoughts; and causing her no end of confusion - Archangel.

Garrus stood there, grinning. It hadn’t been a dream. Tania was alive. However, if seeing her hadn’t been a dream, then neither was the fact that her memories were gone. He needed answers and he needed them _NOW_. 

“Not even two days ago, Mordin and Chakwas weren’t sure if you were going to pull through. And yet here you are. Impressive,” she commented, not sure what else to say to him. 

“I have work that needs to be done. I’ll leave the two of you alone,” Jacob announced. He wanted to leave before this got too personal. He saluted Shepard before hurrying out of the door. 

“Someone once told me that I was hard headed. I guess she was right,” Garrus joked, watching his wife closely for a reaction. He saw her eyes brighten for a moment before returning to their new dullness. 

“Sounds like most turians I’ve met since being resurrected,” Tania mocked with a cold smirk. 

“You’re probably right,” Garrus shrugged as he walked toward her, leaning against the console right beside her. “So, you have no memories at all?” he asked with narrowed eyes. 

“I don’t see how that is your business,” she sneered. 

“That’s where you are wrong. It _IS_ my business, wife,” Garrus growled. 

“I am not your wife!” she snarled, moving away from him.

Garrus chuckled darkly and moved toward her, certainty in each step. He stopped when he stood right in front of his wife, his armor brushing against her clothes. He saw the desire in her eyes and could smell her body reacting to him. 

Shepard’s breathing quickened as he came closer. She didn’t want him this close; she couldn’t think straight. Her body screamed at her to take him, mark him. Fear clawed at the pit of her stomach from her reaction to him. She feared him; he made her feel too much. 

She held absolutely still as he reached out a hand and brushed her hair back from her face. She heard his hiss and knew he saw the two bite marks. “I smell your desire, wife, and yet you wear two bite marks that aren’t mine. Whose are they?” Garrus asked coldly as his claw traced one of them; causing her to shiver reflexively. 

“I am not your wife!” she yelled in his face, trying to break the grip he had on her. She nearly whimpered as he growled at her. She didn’t know what that growl meant, but she didn’t like the sound of it. It did odd things to her body; things that she didn’t like. Her body went passive in his grip and her mind calmed as his talons closed tighter around her arms. 

“Who marked you?” Garrus asked in a calmer voice. He smirked when he saw the reaction his growl had on her. He wasn’t surprised; she’d always calmed when she heard him growl or purr. She reacted like a mate when he growled - falling passive and waiting for his anger to pass. At least that hadn’t change yet. 

While he had been in the med bay healing, he’d had time to think and mourn. He didn’t want to believe that Tania had forgotten everything. A part of him had accepted it, but the rest of him was still catching up. He’d started to mourn the loss of his wife once more; then came to the conclusion that he was going to fight for her and not give up. Even if he had to work at making her love him again, he would. He couldn’t lose her again. So now he was going to do everything to get her back. 

“Valern and Pallin,” she whispered, so softly that he almost didn’t hear. Rage burned through him. Valern! He should have guessed that he would do something like this. He had loved her and now he had the perfect opportunity to claim her. 

He already knew about Pallin. The ambassador had sent him a message, detailing everything that happened and asking forgiveness for his indiscretion. Yes, he had been pissed, but he forgave Pallin once he’d explained the entire situation. However, if it happened again there would be no forgiveness – only death. 

“When are we heading to the Citadel?” Garrus asked coldly, his voice deepening in anger. 

“Not until we have finished recruiting the rest of the team,” Tania answered quietly. “At the moment I’m not talking to him.” 

Garrus hesitated when he heard her confession. “Why aren’t you talking to him?” he asked, confusion clear in his voice. 

“Why did you leave the old Normandy?” she asked, watching his expression closely. 

Garrus stared at her in shock. The question had come out of nowhere and he wasn’t sure what brought it up. “We discussed it. I wanted to stay onboard, but you knew that I had a chance to become a Spectre. So we compromised. I would go into the training, while tying up some loose ends in C-Sec. Once I completed my training, you were to become my mentor,” he answered softly, running his hands idly along her skin. 

Tania believed him, though she wasn’t sure why. His story was similar to the one Mr. Moreau had told her. So Valern had lied. What was worse was that he _knew_ about her and Archangel. He knew and slept with her, anyway. So now she knew that she and Archangel were together, but married…

That one thought scared her. A relationship was one thing, but marriage was an altogether different matter. “I have work to do,” she told him, shoving against his chest so he would move. He didn’t budge an inch. 

“We are not done yet,” Garrus growled, his hands gripping her arms hard. “We are heading to the Citadel before we pick up the other dossiers,” he ordered. If it had been the old Tania, she would have put him in his place and fast. He was hoping he could get away with it with the new Tania. 

Anger built in Tania, and a voice screamed at her not to allow him to control her. She didn’t ignore that voice, but what could she do against a turian? He was built for war. Hitting him wouldn’t do much, not with his natural armor. The only thing she had at her disposal was her biotics, but she didn’t want to kill him. 

She decided to take her chances. She couldn’t have him bossing her around like he was the one who ran the ship. Not when she was losing face with most of the crew already, for reasons she didn’t understand. She shoved him back with a forceful push of biotics. “My ship, my rules! We are not going to the Citadel until the other dossiers are collected,” she snapped coldly. With each word, she moved menacingly toward him.

Garrus smirked. He was looking at his wife right now, not the ‘other’ one. He knew he’d just gotten off easy. The old Tania would have kicked his ass and then made him do some duty around the ship that would make him cringe. Being her husband didn’t mean anything when he stepped over the line. It didn’t look like that had changed. 

“I want Valern!” he growled, towering over her; trying to use his height and build to intimidate her. 

“Fine, but you can’t march onto the Citadel and kill him. Think about it, Archangel. He’s a Councilor. You need a fool-proof plan to kill a Councilor,” Tania explained tiredly. 

Garrus stared at her in shock. He couldn’t believe that she had just agreed that Valern needed to die for his actions. As always, however, she tempered his anger with reasoning. She called it planning and strategizing; he called it an annoyance at times. But as usual, she was right; he couldn’t go in there and assassinate him. 

Even though he was pissed and hurt, he was grinning. Right now he was talking to his wife, not Cerberus’ creation. It irked him that she still called him Archangel. He wanted to hear her speak his name. Garrus moved away from her, walking toward the door. He glanced over his shoulder at his wife. “Don’t call me Archangel. My name is Garrus Vakarian,” he stated before walking out. He missed her reaction. 

Tania stared at him as he walked through the door. Her mind screamed as he said his name. _Garrus…._

_“Who is that?” she asked someone._

_“That’s Garrus Vakarian,” the person answered._

_Blue eyes met hers and locked…. “I’m leading the investigation into Saren…”_

_He was standing in a dim lit hallway. It was late at night and he was looking over a datapad. His blue piercing eyes looked at her curiously, but there was no love in them at that time._

_…he held her close; her body hurting and feeling like it was going to explode. She could barely think…. He saved her. She knew that._

_His claw brushing against her cheek, his forehead against hers…._

_Bright blue eyes stared at her lovingly…blue eyes to match his blue markings…. She traced those markings, watching the emotions in those blue eyes._

_“I’ll always be with you, mate,” she remembered whispering one final time._

Blackness ate at her vision and she barely felt it when her body hit the hard floor of the new Normandy. She didn’t hear Garrus as he re-entered the room. 

Garrus gave a cry of alarm when he returned to the conference room. The doors had only closed behind him when he knew there was a problem. He hadn’t second guessed that warning in his mind. He went back to his wife, only to find her falling to the floor. He didn’t know what happened in the last few seconds to cause this, but it scared him. 

Without thought he rushed her to Mordin’s lab; ignoring the startled looks from the crew.  

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

She woke in the med bay. Dr. Chakwas was looking over some datapads with her back to her. Garrus sat in a chair at her side, his head resting on the bed next to her legs. He was fast asleep, the scarred side of his face showing plainly in the glaring light. 

“You’re lucky Garrus is so attuned to you. He knew something was off as soon as he left you and went back in to find you passed out on the floor,” Chakwas stated as she turned to face Tania. 

“What happened?” she asked quietly. 

“That’s a question I should be asking you,” Chakwas chuckled. “You brain overloaded. It was the same thing that happened when you encountered the prothean beacon.”

“I remembered quite a few things. They were jumbled and only partial memories, but each of them were of him,” she whispered, turning her attention to the turian using her bed as a head rest. She blushed as she realized that she was lightly running her fingers along his wounds, tracing his tattoos. 

“I’m not surprised, considering the history the two of you have together,” Chakwas commented. 

“Is it true? That he and I are married?” she asked quietly. 

“Yes, but I can see that no matter what anyone says, you won’t believe them. But I’ll warn you right now - Garrus won’t back off and this crew won’t defend you,” Chakwas told her sternly. She needed to warn Shepard, especially about the crew. Worry weighed heavily on her that Shepard would lose this ship by mutiny. 

Tania didn’t say anything. The doctor was stating something that she’d already figured out. She knew she was close to losing the ship and she didn’t know how to rectify that situation. No one on the ship felt safe with her in command. If she was completely honest, she didn’t even trust her own abilities.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Garrus watched Tania walk out of Dr. Chakwas’ office. He noticed that she was deep in thought and missed the annoyed glances the crew gave her as she passed by. That didn’t bode well for her. He planned on stopping those looks soon; but the crew needed to see the old Shepard, not this one. The new Tania should never be in charge of a ship. She didn’t have what it took. 

His attention turned to the male that took a seat across from him. “I heard that you called Shepard your wife. Do you think you can unblock her memories?” the man asked quietly, without an introduction. 

“I plan on it,” Garrus answered confidently.        

“Good. We need her. I met her once a while back and this woman isn’t the one I remember,” the stranger commented. “I’m Jacob Taylor, by the way. You’ll find me in the armory if you happen to need my help.”

“How did you meet Tania?” Garrus asked curiously. This was the first he’d ever heard of Taylor. 

“We were on the same ship for a very short time. I was introduced to her and that was the last time we talked. I saw her take over certain areas of the mission and I know what she is capable of, when she is in her right mind,” he answered with a shrug. 

Garrus nodded. He might just use Jacob to help get Tania’s memories back. He also needed to talk to Joker to get the full story of the occurrences on this ship. Joker would know everything that was going on with Tania.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo                ~

She stared at her monitor and knew there was one more call she had to make. Valern wasn’t the only one who’d deceived her; Pallin had, as well. She wondered if that was why he had tried to push her away the night they made love. She knew she had to confront him. Everyone was telling her that she is married to Vakarian, but Pallin hadn’t mentioned it. Even when she slept with him, he never said anything about it. 

She waited for him to answer and it didn’t take long. She saw the shocked look on his face. “You have a lot of explaining to do, Pallin,” she stated harshly. 

“Tania?” he questioned with a raised brow; not sure what she was talking about. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that I was married to Archangel when you sent me after him?” she asked coldly. 

“I couldn’t take the chance of telling you. Right now you are with Cerberus and I couldn’t take the chance that Cerberus would search for him. You have to realize - when you died, Garrus took it very hard. Most feared that he would take his life. He was no longer the same man I knew when you were alive. So to protect him, I didn’t say anything. That was why I ordered you to get him as soon as I located him. I was sure he would be the only person to bring your memories back. I see that I was right,” Pallin explained. 

“I don’t have my memories back. I’m going by what everyone has told me. So why didn’t you stop that night?” she asked calmly. 

“I was weak. I admit it. You were once my lover, but our relationship didn’t last. When I saw you I became weak, remembering what it was like to be with you. I wanted to have you one more time, even though I knew you were Garrus’,” he said softly. She could see the guilt on his face and didn’t know what to do. She understood why he hadn’t told her about Garrus or that she was married. She could forgive him, but she would never sleep with him again.

“Why would Valern lie to me?” she asked him quietly. She wondered if he would tell her the truth or hide more things from her; this time to protect the Council. 

“He’s always wanted you. You chose Garrus over him before your death, but he never gave up. Shortly after you chose Garrus, you came to me for help with Valern. There wasn’t much I could do then, but things have now changed,” he stated pointedly, wondering if she would get the hint.

“Then I’ll let you handle it. I’m not talking to him for a long while,” Shepard muttered irritably. 

“We will discuss this more at another time. When you return to the Citadel, come and see me. Bring Garrus with you. We need to discuss some important things,” he told her before cutting off communications. 

Tania stared at the computer and scowled. She really needed to get her mind on other things. She needed time to herself and she couldn’t get that here. There were eyes everywhere, especially with EDI around. She quickly changed her clothes and headed to CIC to leave the ship. Her plan was to grab a few drinks, come back and leave in the morning. 

She glanced at Joker and made up her mind to ask him about the Vakarian situation. He hadn’t lied to her yet and she didn’t see a reason why he would lie about this. “Commander,” Joker greeted her, nodding his head. This professionalism was really getting on his nerves. He wanted things the way they used to be. Sure, he had seen many signs of the old Shepard; but not enough to make him trust her again. 

“Is it true that Garrus and I are married?” she asked him uncertainly. 

“Yeah, it’s true. Couldn’t tell you…” he trailed off, nodding toward EDI’s holo emitter. 

“Thanks, Mr. Moreau. We’ll be leaving dock in a couple of hours. I’m escaping for a short time,” she told him as she walked to the airlock. 

Joker watched her walk away and shook his head. He didn’t like the looks of this. She seemed lost now. At this point, he would consider becoming a religious man; if prayers would bring the old Shepard back.  

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Garrus left Jacob in the armory and headed to the cockpit. Garrus could hear Joker arguing with EDI and smirked. He waited until Joker swung his chair around before he started talking. He needed to see the human’s face for this talk. 

Joker stared at Garrus, shocked to see him up and around. He thought for sure it would take weeks, maybe even longer, for him to come around. “What can I do you for, Garrus?” he smirked at his twist of words and wondered if the alien would catch it. 

“I want to talk about Tania,” Garrus answered. 

Joker shifted uncomfortably. Even though Garrus was her husband, he still felt awkward talking about the commander behind her back. But he also knew that if he was going to help Tania, the answer was standing right in front of him. 

“You just missed her. She just left the ship,” Joker told him, watching closely for his reaction. Before there would have been a growl and worry in his eyes; now he wondered what he would do. Joker smirked as he heard the growl. The worry was there also, but now there was something new - his fringe was growing thicker. 

“Did she say where she was going?” Garrus asked slowly, trying to keep his anger under control. He was afraid that she was running and wouldn’t return; not that he would allow it. 

“Yeah, she’s going to have a few drinks. We are leaving port in a few hours – I hope,” Joker muttered. 

“What do you mean ‘you hope’?” Garrus asked cautiously. 

“Tania changes her mind constantly,” Joker answered with a smirk. Garrus raised a brow, not surprised to hear this. 

“I’ll go and keep an eye on her,” Garrus stated before heading for the airlock. Movement caught his attention and he saw Miranda standing in a darkened corner of the deck. He knew she had heard everything, but he didn’t understand the anger he saw in her eyes. As far as he was concerned, there was no reason for it. Tania wasn’t one to get drunk, not since that one night a few years ago. It was a night he wouldn’t forget. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Miranda heard the two men talking and worried. She didn’t think she would need to use the device so soon, but Shepard was avoiding the mission. They should be leaving by now. They had been on Omega almost a week and that didn’t sit well with Miranda. 

She’d already accepted that the operation was a failure, but she knew she had to keep it under control before Shepard turned against the Illusive Man. She was fairly sure it wouldn’t return her to his good graces, but she still had to try. 

She watched the turian walk off the ship and headed back to her office. Her eyes narrowed as she grabbed the device off her desk. Without second guessing herself, she pressed the button. Now she would wait and see what happened. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Garrus watched his wife walk ahead of him. He was annoyed at the moment. He didn’t want to be back on Omega, but he wasn’t leaving her unprotected. He stayed behind her, and was surprised that she hadn’t noticed him.  

His eyes narrowed when she suddenly slowed down. Worry caught him as her hands clapped against the sides of her head. He ran to her as she slowly dropped to her knees. He caught her in his arms when she tumbled to the side. Her face was deathly pale and sweat glistened on her brow. Fear consumed him as he picked her up and raced to the Normandy. He was glad they weren’t that far away. 

He didn’t bother stopping for the questions that were thrown his way as he barged into Mordin’s office. 

Mordin’s head snapped up as he saw Garrus holding Shepard. Immediately he rushed to his side, scanning her. “Place her on the bed,” he ordered. Her biotic readings and brain waves were off the charts. He had never seen anything like it before and worried. He knew he had to get her mind to slow down, but he wasn’t sure how to do it. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Garrus asked sharply. 

“Unknown. Mind overreacting to something. Her biotics are creating extreme brain waves. Her brain may not be able to handle the extra stress placed on it at the moment. Thought it might have to do with chip added to her implant, but don’t think so now. Something else is causing this,” Mordin muttered, more to himself than the frantic turian. He knew the chip had a part to play, even if it wasn’t the main cause. It probably started the attack, but something else happened to make it this extreme. 

Mordin called for Chakwas and pulled a curtain around the bed. “Can’t stay in here. Will be dangerous. Should leave,” Mordin told Garrus. 

“I’m not leaving, Mordin!” Garrus snarled coldly. 

“Her biotics will flare out of control. Dangerous to be in here,” the professor stated firmly. 

“Her biotics don’t bother me. I’m the only one who’s been able to touch her when she flared out of control,” Garrus told him quietly. 

“That was before resurrection, may not be the same now. Many things have changed within her,” Mordin told him. He didn’t want to see the turian harmed. Shepard’s biotics were deadly when out of control. He wasn’t sure it was even safe to do this surgery on the ship, but they had no choice. 

Mordin motioned Chakwas closer to the bed. He ignored the obstinate turian that stood nearby, watching his every movement. He shouldn’t be in here; but if he stayed where he was, the chances of contamination were small. At least he wasn’t interrupting them. This surgery was delicate enough without spousal interference. 

“Two years ago I told myself that Shepard’s brain was the last place I ever wanted to return, and now what do you know? I find myself back in it,” Chakwas said and smirked as she held the light on the chip. “Are you sure it’s safe to do this here? I’ve been on one destroyed ship, and I really don’t want a repeat,” she sighed tiredly. 

“Have chip. Should be able to close now, unless we replace her implant,” Mordin said thoughtfully. He nodded to himself as he grabbed the implant that he had been working on for the last two days. He had recalibrated it many times and was able to strengthen it enough for Shepard’s needs. 

Chakwas’ eyes widened. Shepard started glowing when Mordin took out her implant. She’d originally been thrilled to see how easily the chip was removed. But now she didn’t feel safe. She was about to back away from Shepard, but Garrus stepped forward and took Tania’s hand. She heard him gasp. His fringe grew larger and she wondered about it. She had never seen anything like it before. 

Mordin glanced up and smirked when he saw the state Garrus was in. He would have to talk to the two of them later. He wasn’t sure if it was necessary since they were married; but he would, anyway, just to be safe. Wouldn’t do to have too many problems on board the ship.  

“There, new implant in. Went easier this time than last, not as dangerous,” Mordin muttered to himself. Garrus raised a brow ridge at his comment and smirked. He knew what her biotics were like; he’d had firsthand experience. He wouldn’t mind repeating his own personal experience with it many times, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen for a while. 

“What was wrong with her other implant?” Garrus asked him. 

“Hindering her biotics. Dampened them. That’s why she has headaches. This implant will need to be adjusted in a few days. Will do that, myself. But right now, need to keep an eye on her,” Mordin explained as he ran another scan. Her brain waves were still high, but her biotic readings were in the normal range once again. 

He knew someone set off the chip that was inside of her and he wondered what their intentions were. If they were trying to fry her brain, they’d almost succeeded. If it was for some other form of punishment or control, they’d failed miserably. He supposed it didn’t matter, now that the chip was removed. 

He held up the chip, glaring at the Cerberus logo on it. He wondered if he should tell Shepard about this or not. His next concern would be to correct any damage the device had caused. So far his scans showed nothing, but it could take days for problems to show up. 

“What is that?” Garrus asked, his eyes narrowing. 

“A chip that Cerberus placed in her brain. Think it might be a control chip, but never seen one like this. Must analyze for more information,” Mordin answered absently.

“Miranda,” Garrus growled. “Now I have one more thing to speak with her about.” Mordin watched as the turian stormed out of the room. He wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but he wasn’t going to worry about it. It wasn’t his place. 

“Should we wake her?” Chakwas asked. 

“No, wait till tomorrow. Must make sure no permanent damage,” Mordin stated, taking another scan of her brain. Her brain waves were leveling out and setting into a natural REM pattern. 

“This is the same way she reacted when the prothean probe exploded and sent her images and a broken message. Her second encounter was not as bad. I guess she was more prepared for the probe at Saren’s cloning facility,” Chakwas told him. 

Mordin glanced at her and pulled up Shepard’s file. He noticed a lot of gaps in the information and used his old access code to gain that information. He smirked as more of her files opened to him. Now he needed to learn Shepard’s past to help her regain her memories. Maybe an in-depth scan would tell him what was stopping her from fully remembering her past.


	9. Chapter 9

Tania groaned as she sat up in bed. She felt like she had single-handedly battled four krogans. Her body ached, and her head – yeah, that was a nightmare. Every movement brought more agony to her body. She felt as she had when she woke in that fucking Cerberus facility. The only difference was that this time she had memories, though they made no sense. She recognized it as a warning of some type. There were images of screaming people, terror, fear, desperation and hope. She knew these flashes. She’d seen them before, but she couldn’t remember where. 

She glanced up when the doors to the med lab opened and Garrus walked in. A part of her felt ecstatic that he was there, and another part felt fearful; mostly because of her body’s reaction to him. 

“Why are you here?” she asked spitefully, hoping her tone would chase him off. 

“To see how my wife is doing,” Garrus smirked as he took a seat on the chair by her bed. 

“Well as you can see that I am doing fine, so you can leave now,” Tania spat, annoyed at his persistence. 

Garrus held in his retort when she said she was fine. She actually looked like hell. He decided to prod into an area that he was sure would get a reaction. He hoped the reaction would show him his wife once more. “You finally admit that I am your husband. It’s a start, for now. And Tania, I am not leaving,” Garrus stated firmly, his smirk growing as he watched his wife’s anger rise a notch. 

“Why not?” Shepard asked. Her tone sounded petulant, even to her; but she didn’t care. 

Garrus’ brow ridge rose. “I don’t want to,” he answered simply. He hid his grin as she scowled at him. 

“I could order you to leave,” she smirked slyly. 

“You could, but that doesn’t mean I will listen,” Garrus murmured with a smug smile. He sighed softly as he saw the lost look on her face and decided to take a different approach. Maybe explaining things would get through to her. “When you died, I could barely function, until….” he trailed of, a warmth spreading through him at that memory. His wife was dead, but her essence had been with him long after her death. He wasn’t ready to share that memory with her. He couldn’t. It was too personal. Instead, he continued and watched her carefully. “I followed everything you taught me. I started my own team and things happened. Then I find out that you were amongst the living once again. Tania, you may not remember me, but I will not leave your side this time. The last time I didn’t have your back, you were taken from me. Never again!” he stated passionately, lowering his forehead to hers. He was shocked that she didn’t protest. He realized then that he’d never really explained the meaning to her. 

“Where were you when I died?” she asked softly. She was tempted to reach up and touch him, to trace the blue tattoos on his face; but she held herself back, even though he made the first move. It didn’t surprise her that his first move would be a sign of commitment.  

“I was on a video call with you when the Normandy was attack. You left and I haven’t seen you since,” Garrus whispered brokenly. “What do you remember?” he asked softly as he brushed a stray hair from her face. 

Shepard closed her eyes. This was a question she had hoped to avoid. _What did she remember?_ Not enough and yet too much. She remembered a feeling of peace and security; and the feeling of having it all viciously ripped from her fingers. She remembered feeling lost and cold; floating without a place to go. All she remembered were feelings and emotions; not actual images. 

“Nothing of importance,” she mumbled, not able to meet his eyes. 

“You once told me that I’m not a very good liar. Neither are you,” Garrus chuckled. “I won’t push, but if you want to speak about it, you know where to find me.”

“Yeah. Glued to my ass, it seems,” Tania remarked sarcastically. 

“Glued to your ass? I am not sure if that would be comfortable,” Garrus remarked, giving her a confused look. 

“I meant all I would have to do is look over my shoulder and I would find you,” Tania bit out, annoyed. 

“If not there, then in the Main Battery,” Garrus shrugged. “When are we going after the krogan?” 

“We are on our way there now and I have to leave here,” she muttered. 

“Ah, good, you are awake. Need to take scans. Make sure chip didn’t do permanent damage. Also need to check on new biotic implant. Will be able to calibrate it in a few days,” Mordin stated as he walked into the med lab. 

“What do you mean ‘chip’?” Shepard asked coldly. 

“Someone implanted a control device into your brain. Was activated and caused you to pass out, but wasn’t the reason you remained unconscious. Something else was happening. Not sure what,” Mordin muttered. 

“I had memories of a warning. Terror, testing, and machines coming to eradicate us. I remember seeing this before, but I can’t remember where,” Shepard shook her head and regretted the movement. Her pounding headache intensified, and she felt like her head was about to explode. 

Garrus moved up in front of his wife, smiling softly. He remembered having to do this on the old Normandy. He didn’t bother asking for permission as he laced his claws through her thick hair, the pads of his three fingers rubbing the tense skin. He grinned when he heard the first moan and felt her press against his fingers. He looked down at his wife’s face. The tension was melting away. Her eyes were closed and her lips were parted; reminding him of what she looked like while they were together intimately. He pressed more firmly, enjoying her reaction. He wished he could be doing something else to make her moan like she was now. He missed those sounds she made - the moans of passion or pleasure, the groans of frustration and also her purrs of pleasure. 

“Spirits, don’t stop,” she moaned, not thinking about her choice of words. Garrus laughed lightly as he heard her. 

“Stress levels not as high, muscles not as tense, blood pressure down to normal. Readings good,” Mordin rhymed off with a grin. He moved away from them; giving the couple some semblance of privacy. 

Shepard sighed when Garrus finally stopped. What he did almost felt too good. Instead of dwelling on those emotions and sensations, she decided to turn her attention to the salarian in the room. “Mordin, can I see the chip?” Shepard asked. Mordin raised a brow when he heard the cold tone in her voice. He wasn’t certain what she was going to do, but he hoped that she didn’t damage the chip. He passed the small object to her, along with a magnifying glass. 

“That’s the Cerberus logo,” Tania growled as she glared at the offending chip. “Garrus, can you go up to my room and grab clothes for me?”

“Sure, Tania. What are you planning on doing?” Garrus asked curiously. He was shocked that she asked him to retrieve some clothes for her.   

“I’m going to stay right here so I am not flashing my crew and then I intend to speak to the Illusive Man,” she bit out, glaring down at the chip in her hand. She glanced at Garrus as he left the room. “Mordin, the first time we met you spoke as though you knew me before,” she commented, watching him closely for any reaction. 

“Met you once. Did surgery on your old implant. Had to replace it,” Mordin stated. 

“Everyone says Garrus and I were married. What do you know about that?” she asked uncertainly.

“Not surprised. Chose Garrus over Turian Councilor. Both visited you after surgery. Both acted very territorial. You had to choose so there was no fight. Chose Garrus for mate, made sure Turian Councilor knew. Not surprised about marriage, expected,” Mordin answered with a grin. He could see her confusion and held in his amusement. 

“Thanks, Mordin. Not quite the answer I was looking for,” Shepard muttered. 

She was about to ask another question, but the doors to Mordin’s office opened as Garrus returned. “Here. Tried to find something without the Cerberus logo, but there was nothing. So….” he trailed off with a grin. 

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the patch on her sleeve. He had cut out the Cerberus emblem. She had to grin, even though there was a hole in her clothes. It didn’t really matter, as long as that emblem was gone. 

“You can leave so I can change,” she muttered, looking at both men pointedly. Mordin shrugged and left the room. Garrus grinned impishly as he watched his wife. 

“Don’t mind me. I’ve seen it before,” he grinned, his eyes sweeping her athletic form with a suggestive look. 

“Whatever. But you haven’t seen me since I was resurrected and I don’t remember you seeing me. Now leave,” Shepard bit out. 

Garrus smirked, moving closer to Tania. “Afraid that once I see you naked you won’t be able to stop yourself?” he asked, taunting her. He watched as anger and uncertainty shone in her eyes and grinned. He moved closer to her, testing to see if he could replace the uncertainty and anger with desire. He was surprised that it didn’t take much. He took one step and panic flashed in her eyes; but beneath that, he could see desire. “Don’t worry, Commander,” he said as he bent over her, his face millimeters from her own. “I won’t sleep with anyone but my wife. You are not my wife….yet,” Garrus whispered, allowing his breath to fan her skin. He backed away, watching as her eyes dilated, her cheeks flushed and her breath escaped in small gasps. With a knowing smile, he left the room; giving her the privacy she’d requested. 

_Damn I’m going to need a cold shower,_ he thought in aggravation as he felt his plates starting to shift. _But it was well worth it for the reaction I received._

“Shepard’s memory might return,” Mordin stated as he waited for his office to be returned to him. 

“You’ve found something?” Garrus asked, ignoring the curious looks from the rest of the crew on the CIC deck. 

“Block put in purposely. Might be able to remove block, but need help from asari. Best people to help. Able to meld with one’s mind,” Mordin stated. 

“There is Liara, but I’m not sure where she is,” Garrus said thoughtfully. 

“Is she a young asari? Would need a matriarch, more suitable for Shepard’s mind. A maiden would have a hard time with Shepard’s mind. Too much blood in Shepard’s past,” Mordin stated calmly. 

“I don’t know any Matriarchs except Aria. I highly doubt she would help,” Garrus muttered. 

“Wouldn’t trust Aria. Too power hungry,” Mordin replied and gave him a disdainful look. 

Mordin was about to continue when Shepard left his lab. She had a look of determination in her eyes that he hadn’t seen since boarding the vessel. “Joker, patch me through to the Illusive Man,” Shepard bit out. 

“What do you make of that?” Garrus wondered out loud. 

“Not sure, can’t be good,” Mordin muttered uncertainly. “Might confront him about chip. Already figured out Miranda placed chip in her brain.”

Shepard walked into the conference room and stepped onto the holopad. She watched as the Illusive Man appeared before her; seated in his chair with his signature cigarette dangling from his fingers. “You lied to me,” Shepard stated, holding up the chip. “You told me that you didn’t want extras added in when you resurrected me. Well, we found this control chip you activated and we will find any others that you placed within me. Once I have them all, I will be hunting for you,” Shepard threatened. 

“Move closer with the chip,” the Illusive Man ordered. 

Shepard moved as close as the pad would allow, holding the chip up in the air. “EDI, scan the chip,” he ordered coolly. Shepard stared at him with cold eyes, plotting her next course of action against him. She would have to find out his true name before she could do anything. 

“I didn’t order that chip. This is Miranda’s doing,” he bit out coldly, Shepard’s eyes widened as she watched his eyes turn a glowing red. “I once told you that you could do as you pleased with Miranda and Jacob. I would suggest that you get rid of Miranda now, instead of waiting. She’s a liability now, to you and this mission.” 

“Why should I do what you say? What has Cerberus done for me?” Shepard asked furiously. 

“We brought you back to life,” the Illusive Man smirked. 

“Who said I wanted to be brought back? And to top it off, you brought me back without my memories. What use is that to me?” she snarled. “I owe you nothing.” 

The Illusive Man sat silently, trying hard to find a way to keep Shepard on his side. He had to think fast. He hadn’t been prepared for this meeting. Shepard’s request to see him had taken him by surprise. “You may not have wanted to be brought back, but humanity needs you. No one believes the Reapers are a danger. You need Cerberus to help you save humanity; since your own people won’t help you and the Council has turned its back on you. If you don’t do this, more humans die. Can you live with that knowledge, Shepard? The knowledge that you could have done something, but didn’t?” he asked, hiding his sly grin. He hoped he had her attention. This strategy would have worked on the old Shepard. This new one he wasn’t sure about. 

“Fuck, you’re a bastard. Fine, I won’t hunt you yet. But mark me on this. Cross me again and nothing will stop me from finding you and killing you,” Shepard said and turned cold eyes to him as a cruel smile lit her face. The Illusive Man watched as her eyes glowed red and he knew that she meant every word she said. He now knew he would have to prepare for an eventual attack. He couldn’t predict this Shepard’s actions. His first thought was to get  Vakarian under his control; but something told him that she would hunt him right away if he were to threaten the turian. He couldn’t take the chance that a confrontation would come before he was fully prepared. He thought about the other people in her life; but was unable to think of anyone that would aid his cause. 

He glanced at her and cut communications. There was nothing left to say. He would have to work carefully and watch her every step. That was all he could do until he found someone that could help him once more regain control of the rogue commander.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Valern sat quietly in his office. It had been several days since he’d heard from Tania. He was fairly sure that he had lost her with his deception about Vakarian. But there was no way Garrus would have her if he couldn’t. After days of thinking, he came up with a plan. It was now time to put that plan into motion. 

He hesitated a moment before shoving his uncertainty away. It didn’t matter anymore. He’d already lost Tania, so there was nothing else to lose now. So what if he lost his seat on the Council? It didn’t matter. He had stayed here to help her, and now she was out of his reach and back with Vakarian. 

_To: Thane Krios_

_I have a hit for you. 2 million credits once the job is done. I’ll send half once you accept and the last half once I receive proof that the job is finished. The target is Garrus Vakarian. He is onboard the SSV Normandy 2. I’ve put your name forward to Cerberus as a possible ally on their latest mission. That should give you the perfect opportunity to complete the job._

_If Shepard interferes, you may end her, as well. They are both a liability to the Council. This is a Council sanctioned hit._

_Councilor Valern_

He read over the letter and then pressed send. _So it begins…_ he thought with a smug smile. _This time I will win._

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Mordin looked at the recent scans they did while in Shepard’s brain, replacing the implant. His eyes widened as he saw the block that was placed deep inside her head. His shocked look turned into a glare when he saw that it was purposely done; not to save her, but to remake her memories. 

For all intents and purposes, she shouldn’t be having flashes of memory. Cerberus had meticulously placed the block to prevent any memories from surfacing; but it didn’t appear to be making a difference. The block had only held them at bay, which was odd. The downfall was that if he removed the block, it could make her a vegetable. He had noticed the way it was linked to other brain functions and he knew Cerberus had done it purposely. 

Mordin reread Miranda’s reports on Shepard’s resurrection and the block she described was nothing like what the one on his scan. She had lied; it was the only explanation. Shepard needed that block removed to regain her memory and the odds of success weren’t certain. He was about to close the data file, but stopped and hissed. There was one more chip in her brain. He saw it clearly now. It was small, barely noticeable, but it was there. It was located in the area that regulates emotions in human beings. He closed his eyes and sighed in relief. There was still a small chance that he could repair the damage done. It might be possible to get the old Shepard back, but they would need to remove the last chip and somehow weaken the block.

Mordin punched in more data, attempting to determine if his plans were plausible. He smirked as EDI joined him in his investigation. When he’d first boarded, he had wondered about the AI. She was turning out to be far more helpful that he ever hoped she would.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

EDI searched over Cerberus’ intelligence at Joker’s request. She had listened to the stories that Joker told her of the old commander. She processed the information, matching it up to the information they had on her and knew the pilot hadn’t lied. 

She noticed Mordin Solis scanning over information in his office. She processed more and came to a decision. It would be more beneficial to the mission to help the crew of the Normandy than it would be to report all problems to the Illusive Man. The crew who knew Commander Shepard was working to bring her back, and Operative Lawson had nearly destroyed their chances of success. Operative Lawson’s file stated they had to bring Shepard under control; hence the reason for wiping her memories. She was going to rewrite them before the commander woke, but the attack on the facility had rendered her unable to complete her original mission. 

EDI came to a decision and transferred Miranda’s confidential files to Mordin Solis’ terminal. She also sent a copy to Garrus Vakarian and Commander Shepard’s terminals. Following these actions, there was nothing left to do but wait and see what the outcome would be and if her data could help them save Shepard. All the information Miranda had deleted weeks ago was still in her memory banks. The operative obviously knew nothing of EDI’s capabilities if she thought she could cover her tracks from the AI. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane Krios sat in his room and reread the communiqué from the Turian Councilor. Councilor Valern wished him to kill Garrus Vakarian. He said it was a Council sanctioned assassination, but Thane didn’t believe it. He wasn’t sure what to do. He may be freelance, but he was also under Council rule. It looked like he had no choice but to accept this contract. If Councilor Valern could be believed, he would have ample opportunity onboard the Normandy to complete his task. But for the first time, he would be investigating further before attempting an assassination. Something about this didn’t sit right with him. 

_To: Councilor Valern_

_I accept the contract._

_Thane Krios_

He pressed send and planned his next action. He had the Dantius contract to finish before he could even begin to think about Vakarian. He didn’t plan on returning from that contract alive. He was dying already and wanted to die fighting; not gasping in bed. But this contract against Shepard and her husband concerned him. He had worked with Shepard once and he couldn’t picture the woman he’d met being a danger to the Council. He would have to talk with Garrus Vakarian and Commander Shepard when and if he boarded the Normandy 2.  

Thane closed his messages and did a search on Commander Shepard. His search didn’t turn up much; other than the fact that she was currently in the employ of the pro-human corporation, Cerberus. Even that didn’t sound right to him. There were too many oddities. He would have to investigate. He may not have had a choice to accept the contract; but once he had connected with Shepard and Vakarian, it would be his decision as to how to proceed. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Shepard walked over to Gardener, waiting for her plate of food. She didn’t bother sitting with the other crew members or ground crew. She didn’t feel comfortable with them, so she moved to an empty table. 

“Sitting alone now? You used to hate eating alone,” Garrus commented as he took a seat with her. 

“I may have once, but it doesn’t bother me now,” she shrugged. 

“Did you read the message Mordin sent you?” Garrus asked, watching her carefully. 

“No, I planned on reading it later,” she answered. 

“I think you should read it. It’s about you,” Garrus told her, a smirk on his face. He watched her eyes widen and waited as she pulled up the message on her omnitool. He kept silent as she read, watching all the different expressions pass over her face. 

“How sure is he of this?” Shepard asked quietly. 

“Very! Mordin doesn’t strike me as one who accuses falsely,” Garrus murmured. 

Garrus’ eyes widened as Tania rose to her feet. He watched her closely as she scanned the room; her eyes coming to rest on the female Cerberus operative. He wasn’t sure how this new Shepard would react to the information she’d received. He had a feeling that Miranda was going to die quickly. He knew that Shepard would prefer to make her suffer, but the risks associated with keeping her alive were just too high. 

“Miranda,” Shepard’s voice whipped out. All eyes turned to her, and her ground crew watched her carefully. 

“You lied to me. You disobeyed the Illusive Man. You meant to erase my memory. You didn’t do it because of my biotics. You placed two chips within my brain - one to control me and the other to cut off my emotions; but neither worked the way you planned. Because of your lies, the Illusive Man has determined that you are too dangerous to leave alive,” Shepard bit out. She watched as the crew seated near Miranda quickly rose from the table and dispersed. 

Shepard raised a blue glowing hand and used her biotics to pull Miranda toward her. Unfortunately, she underestimated her opponent. Miranda was a biotic too, and she was able to free herself from the biotic hold. 

Garrus shook his head. He knew there would be no way for Miranda to avoid pain and death now. He watched his wife, pride flowing through him. He watched as she grinned evilly, her whole body glowing blue. Now that Shepard had her new implant, the Cerberus operative would never be able to match her raw power. He wasn’t sure if Miranda even knew of the change yet. 

He watched as Miranda fought against Shepard’s biotics and knew she didn’t stand a chance. He shook his head at the stupidity of it. People moved quickly as Miranda flew through the air toward Shepard. 

Shepard stopped her flight, bringing her upright before her. She raised her fist and shot out, pushing through bone and skin. Without a second thought, she grabbed the woman’s beating heart and crushed it. Moments later, she allowed the limp body to fall from her gasp. 

She raised her eyes and looked at the crew. “I’ll allow a lot of things; but betray me or cross me and I WILL deal with it. Understood?” Shepard’s voice whipped out. 

She watched as most of the people nodded. Other’s grinned, but none showed signs that they would cross her. She was happy that her worries of mutiny could finally be laid to rest. She turned back to her table and prepared to order the removal of the operative’s body. There was no need for commands. Two crewmen moved up and grabbed Miranda’s body. “We were told that you weren’t altered when they resurrected you, Commander,” one of the men said quietly before saluting her and walking away. “It was the only reason we took this job. Miranda lied to everyone and she deserves her fate.” 

Shepard met Jacob’s eyes and he nodded to her. She couldn’t see any malice in his expression and relaxed. Her gaze turned to Garrus’. His eyes held pride as he grinned at her. Seeing that pride helped her relax enough to release the breath she had been holding in since the confrontation began. His opinion seemed to matter to her more than she wanted to admit. She knew that she would finally have to accept the fact that Garrus was her husband. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Pallin sat at his desk. He had a copy of the message that Valern sent to the drell assassin. He also received a copy of Krios’ response. He wasn’t fool enough to believe that Thane Krios would turn down the contract, especially with the way Valern worded his request. 

Now he wondered about the drell’s intentions. Would he attempt to carry out the contract? Krios hadn’t given the Councilor any information other than his acceptance of the contract. There were no details regarding payment, and no requests made of preferences on the assassination or layout of the Normandy. The vague answer gave him the push he needed to move forward with his own plans.

_TO: Thane Krios_

_I am aware of the contract you have accepted on the lives of Commander Tania Shepard and Garrus Vakarian. You should know that this particular contract is not sanctioned by the Council, regardless of the Councilor’s assertions that is it so. For your own benefit, I would advise you to refuse to attempt this assassination. There is more going on than you realize and an incorrect action could lead to your demise._

_Ambassador Pallin_

He hesitated on sending the message. If Valern found out, it could mark the end of Pallin’s plans. He needed to take his time, and not push this too fast. With a sigh, he pressed send and sent a warning message to Shepard and Garrus; in case they met up with Thane Krios. He knew they needed to be prepared. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane glanced at his omnitool when it warned him that he had an incoming message. He glanced at the sender and his eyes widened. He had heard of this turian, but never met him. His breathing accelerated as he read the message. If it was to be believed, the Turian Councilor was attempting to use him for his own benefit. He would send the money back to the Turian Councilor, but he would continue with his plans. If he survived the Dantius mission, he would find a way to board the Normandy and protect Shepard and Vakarian. He knew as soon as he sent the money back, the Councilor would seek another assassin. 

Quickly he replied to the message, notifying Ambassador Pallin of his plans. He didn’t wish to have too many highly placed men angry with him. 

Thane lay back in his bed and sighed. He wondered what he had gotten himself into this time. He was never one for political intrigue and he hated being involved in it now. Unfortunately, the Turian Councilor had left him little choice. If he had to interfere, he would. With deadly consequences.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Garrus was busy programming algorithms into the main console for the canons. It helped him get his mind off of other things; his wife, in particular. He wasn’t sure what he could do to help her. He didn’t know what Mordin’s current plan was, but he hoped it involved removing the final chip.

He wanted his wife back and he knew part of the problem was the chip. It needed to go. He glanced at the picture beside his bed. It was of Tania and him before they were married. She was standing beside him as he sat on her office chair onboard the old Normandy. She had been about to seduce him; but Kaidan had interrupted, getting this picture. He smiled as he remembered the way she had gone after the lieutenant. Kaidan had tried valiantly to defend himself, but couldn’t. Tania wouldn’t give him a chance. After that incident, a new rule was imposed on the ship concerning the commander and the privacy of her office. No pictures were ever to be taken, under any circumstances. She had included Joker specifically in the rule, after she discovered that he had a few pictures and other things of them collected during their most intimate moments. He never gave them up when she demanded their return; instead he used them as part of their wedding present. It was a private present for the newly married couple; left in her office for them to discover when they boarded the Normandy after the party. 

He reached beneath his armor and pulled out the necklace Tania had given him. He stared at the only possession he had of his wife’s for the longest time after her death. It had kept him sane after he couldn’t feel her presence anymore. He now understood that she only left him when she awoke in the Cerberus facility. 

He pulled up the message that Mordin has sent. Would it be that easy to get part of Shepard back? Just by removing a chip from her brain? He hoped so, but something told him it would take more than that. He needed his wife back. The woman he saw everyday wasn’t the Tania he’d married, but that didn’t stop him from loving her with all of his heart.

   


	10. Chapter 10

Shepard stood staring at the pod that contained the young krogan. She was unsure of her plan to set it free. The young specimen towered over her, larger than any krogan she’d ever encountered. What pissed her off the most was that Garrus told her that she should set it free. She wanted to send it out of the airlock just to go against his wishes; but that was childish and this was a living being, so she couldn’t bring herself to do that. The other crew members had mixed emotions about her plan. Some wanted it air locked while others didn’t care one way or the other.  

Her first experience with Jack had been interesting. She had been expecting a male by the name, but instead she found a small female full of fight and anger. Tania had to admit that her biotics were powerful. She was pleasantly surprised at that, but also concerned. If it was true that Jack was the most powerful biotic ever made, she could be extremely dangerous to the crew. Her own powers were formidable; and if Jack surpassed her, the results might be catastrophic.  She thought back to the mission and scowled. Garrus had been right in his warning. Her own gut had told her that something was wrong; and in the end, they were betrayed by the prison warden. It irked her that Garrus had been right. He was making a habit of it. A part of her envied that ability, but she shoved those emotions off to the side. 

She glared at her reflection in the glass of the holding tank and sighed. The reflection was one she saw every day, but didn’t know. Slowly, too slowly for her liking, she was learning about herself. She hated that she had to turn to Garrus for information or advice, but he seemed to take it in stride. Her dreams were beginning to cause even further problems. For a while they had been nightmares that made no sense. Now they were filled with images of her and Garrus that left her yearning for more.     

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to erase those images. “EDI, what do scans show?” she asked, her insecurities surfacing once more. 

“All readings show that he is a healthy male krogan. The stasis pod is secure,” she answered. 

“Open the pod,” she ordered the AI. 

“Procedure states that it is unsafe to open the pod,” EDI informed her. Shepard gritted her teeth. She was now being told what to do by an AI. It was bad enough that Garrus was giving his opinion; now she had an AI doing the same. It was time for people to find out that she was the only commander of the Normandy. 

“I will not be second guessed on my ship! Open the pod!” Shepard ordered coldly.

“The consequences are yours, Shepard. Logging you out,” she stated before disappearing. 

Tania waited for the locks to disengage on the stasis pod. She glanced over her shoulder when she heard the door open. She should have known that he would show up. Garrus walked into the room with Zaeed and Jack. She wasn’t sure why the other two were there, but she wasn’t going to question it. She felt her skin heat up when she met Garrus’ gaze. 

“What are you doing here?” she snarled, hating the fact that she reacted to him so easily.  

“Making sure you don’t kill him,” Garrus answered with a smirk. He had seen her reaction and basked in it. More and more he was seeing his wife, though it was a very slow process. He wished that she would allow Mordin to remove the chips from her brain, but she kept putting it off. He knew she was afraid and would never admit it. It bothered him that she didn’t come to him, but with all that had happened he understood why. 

“We’re here in case it needs its ass kicked,” Jack answered, grinning. 

“If there is to be any ass kicking, it will be me doing it,” Tania snapped, glaring at the two of them.  

“You sure about that, Shepard?” Jack spat, looking at her in disgust. She’d  seen the commander fight and wasn’t impressed. What pissed her off more was that the ‘commander’ was weak. There was nothing there to respect. She had heard stories of Shepard, everyone had, and this was disappointing. She had no choice but to be on this ship, but she didn’t have to like it.  

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shepard asked, giving the biotic a searching look. 

“Take a guess, leader,” she smirked. “Are you going to open the pod or not?”

Tania shook her head in annoyance. She punched in the code to open the door. Everyone in the room backed up a few steps as the krogan tumbled out, collapsing to his knees. Shepard moved forward, trying not to show the fear that was running through her. 

She braced herself as the krogan rose to its full height. She didn’t want the other two interfering; she needed to handle this on her own. Something within her screamed that _she_ had to do this. The last time she hadn’t listened to that voice, she’d slept with Valern. Not one of her brightest moments.

Garrus watched as she moved closer to the krogan. Both Jack and Zaeed looked to him for direction. That irked him. He had already proven that he wasn’t leader material when he got his crew killed. Now these two were expecting him to lead. He wished Tania would regain more of her memories. Then they would have a leader. He wished Mordin would force the issue with the surgeries; then maybe they would have the old Shepard back and he would finally be reunited with his wife.

He smirked as the krogan pinned her against the wall. Jack was about to see what Tania was capable of. He remembered Jack calling Shepard weak since she hadn’t really used her biotics that much. Garrus knew why that was and he wondered if Tania realized why it was happening. Before, Tania would use enemies or sex to help her control her biotics, but now she didn’t. It seemed as though she was too afraid. He knew it was only a matter of time before her energy moved beyond her own control. Every day he would glance at her hands, waiting for the telltale signs that she was about to lose control. Though it hadn’t happened yet, he knew it wouldn’t be long.

“What the fuck is going on?” Jack whispered, her eyes widening. She watched as a strong biotic field radiated around Shepard. The commander’s eyes were burning blue. Her hands were on fire with blue biotics. Jack could do the same, but not to that degree. She looked down at her own hands as she allowed her biotics to flare over them. No, her biotics weren’t as extreme as Shepard’s. It made her wonder how the commander had become so powerful.  

“You’ll see,” Garrus grinned. They watched as Grunt, as he called himself, had Shepard pinned to the wall. Shepard had already talked him down, but Garrus knew what was about to happen. She was going to make her point loud and clear. He remembered her doing this a few times onboard the old Normandy. He laughed as Tania made a forward push motion with her hand and the young krogan flew through the air, hitting the wall forcefully. His eyes widened as the metal buckled and the glass cracked behind him.

He glanced at Jack when he felt her moved closer to him. “Shit, that’s some powerful biotics she has. They say I’m the most powerful biotic, but I’m not sure about that now,” she murmured.

“I know. When I heard that you were considered the most powerful biotic, I wondered. Tania was already contaminated by eezo four times before her death and can be very dangerous. I’ve seen her at her worst and worried for the crew when you boarded. All this ship needed was two extremely powerful biotics to lose control,” Garrus muttered, watching his wife as she glared at the krogan. 

“I don’t lose control. It takes a lot for a biotic to lose control of their energy,” Jack told him, annoyed that he would suggest that she didn’t have control. 

“You may not, but she does. If she doesn’t use her biotics, it’s a lot worse,” Garrus told her. He smirked as he watched his wife move over to the young krogan and wondered if he would have to step in and stop her from killing him.  

Tania walked over to the prone krogan. She smirked when he wouldn’t take his eyes off of her. He didn’t flinch as she knelt by him. “Remember this. This is what happens to people who threaten me. You got off lucky,” she smirked. 

“You would be a worthy opponent, Shepard. I’ll follow you without question,” Grunt stated with a grin that showed his sharp teeth. 

Tania smirked and nodded to the young krogan. She knew she could take him at his word. He wouldn’t cross her. After all she’d been through with the rest of the crew, it came as a pleasant surprise. She glanced at Garrus and found him chuckling. Her breath caught as his eyes lit up with happiness. 

_People gathered around them, drinking, laughing, dancing. Music played as a hard body held her close, swaying to the music. She looked up into blue eyes full of light and laughter. Clawed hands held her waist as she moved. Happiness filled her as another song played and he was there._

She looked at Garrus and knew he was the one from the memory. The other people in the cargo bay didn’t register. She’d already forgotten about them as she stared at Garrus. “You dance?” she asked uncertainly. 

Garrus looked at her in shock. He knew she just had another memory. This time he wondered which one it was. He’d danced with her on two different occasions. One was shortly after he met her, before she had the trial, and the other time was at their wedding. “What do you remember?” he asked carefully. 

“Us dancing, people around us, music playing,” she answered, moving closer to him without noticing it. But Garrus noticed. He waited to see what his wife would do. “You were happy, just as you were a few minutes ago,” she murmured softly, reaching up and brushing the scarred side of his face lightly. Garrus’ breath held as he reached for her hand, holding it firmly against the side of his face. Even if she didn’t remember, her touch was still a healing balm to him. 

Jack and Zaeed watched them, smirking. Jack was shocked at first, but the mercenary had explained quite a bit to her while the two love birds were caught up in each other. They hadn’t even heard them talking. “Are they usually this…” she began, looking at them in disgust. She wanted to tell them to fuck each other and be done with it; but after seeing Shepard display her biotics, she wasn’t sure. When she first boarded the Normandy, she thought she could take Shepard easily. Her plan had been to intimidate Shepard, steal the ship, win Garrus over to her side and then use the ship for piracy. Now that idea wasn’t an option. 

“Sometimes. It gets pretty nauseating when she starts remembering something,” Zaeed muttered as he watched the two of them. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard was in CIC, trying to avoid everyone. She knew that was a no-go when she saw Garrus walk out of the elevator. She glared at him as he approached her. She noticed his challenging look and rolled her eyes. “What do you want, Garrus?” she asked irritably. 

“I heard you spoke with the Illusive Man. Are we heading to Horizon?” he asked, glancing at the map. 

“Yeah, we are. Joker is already taking us there. Why do you ask?” she said and looked at him curiously. 

“What do you think of the Illusive Man?” Garrus asked, instead of answering her question. He was testing an idea that came to him last night while watching her in the Mess Hall. He had seen her watching a few of the crew. Her facial expression would change with each crew member she examined. He knew it was her ‘gut’ telling her something. 

“He’s an ass, but he has more planned than he’s willing to admit. I’ve got a funny feeling that he isn’t done and we will be hearing from him a lot more in the near future,” she muttered. “But don’t quote me on that.” 

Garrus smirked. ‘Don’t quote her on that’. Her gut feeling was one thing that was never wrong. If she said the Illusive Man would always be around, then you believed it. He finally figured out part of her problem. It dawned on him that he never once seen her go by her gut. She used to always listen to those feelings. “You know your gut feeling. You should listen to it more often,” he murmured, moving in behind her. He was basically trapping her so she couldn’t run. 

“Is that an order?” she asked, glaring at him. 

Garrus grinned, leaning in closer to her. “No, commander, it’s not an order; but it’s something you should follow,” he answered.   

Tania stared at him for a moment, noticing how close he was. She couldn’t think properly when he was that close and something told her that he knew it. She tried to glare at him, but she wasn’t angry. She was more flustered than anything. “Why do you keep pushing?” she asked softly. 

Garrus leaned forward, placing his forehead against hers. “I want my wife back and I’ll do anything to get her back,” he murmured as he lightly ran his hand along her arm. He knew they had an audience, but didn’t care. The crew knew they were married and were looking to him to bring the old Shepard back. He didn’t care about that. He was doing this for her and himself. 

“You want me to go for that surgery?” she muttered. She had been avoiding it. She wanted to do it, and she didn’t want to. Her fear was that she wasn’t strong enough to handle the change if it was successful. She knew they wouldn’t be able to give her memories back, but they could take out the chip. Mordin told her that he wouldn’t be able to remove the chip that was restraining her memories, as it would damage too much of her healthy brain tissue. However, he could remove the chip that was disrupting her emotions. Maybe that would be enough.

“Yes, you need to do this,” Garrus stated firmly. 

Tania closed her eyes and sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it,” she said, meeting his eyes. She let him see her fear for the first time. 

Garrus’ eyes widened as she showed him her fear. He did the only thing he could - he pulled her close, holding her tightly. “I won’t leave your side. I promise, mate,” he uttered softly.      

                                                                ~ooooooooooooooooo~

Garrus stood beside Tania as she lay unconscious on the bed. Mordin and Chakwas were in her brain, removing the first chip. It was more difficult than they originally thought it would be. EDI had even been called upon to help. Garrus worried that there would be problems when she woke, or that this surgery would make things worse. 

He knew his wife was semi awake. Every now and then he would feel her squeezing his hand. “Mordin, how is the procedure going?” he asked nervously. 

“Almost done. Scanning area where chip was. Checking for damage,” he answered absently. 

Garrus released the breath that he’d been holding as relief washed through him. He knew that they weren’t out of the woods yet, but it was a start. Mordin and Dr. Chakwas would have said if there had been major problems. “Will keep her sleeping for two days, allow brain to heal,” Mordin told him. 

“What are the odds that this will fix her problem?” Garrus asked softly. 

“Chip controlled many areas. Will help now that it is out. Not sure what changes this will make, but will know once she wakes. 

“What about her memories?” Garrus asked anxiously. 

“Need asari help with that. Block and chip too strong. Too dangerous to remove without help,” Mordin murmured. 

“Garrus, I should warn you. When Shepard first boarded, her body was still developing. Her first menstruation should be starting soon,” Dr. Chakwas stated with a pointed look. 

“Well that should be interesting. Did you ever discover why Valern and I were able to sense when she was fertile?” Garrus asked, trying to hide his embarrassment. 

“No, we still don’t understand the reason. I believe Pallin has an explanation. He mentioned something about that when you were mourning Tania,” Chakwas told him with a sympathetic look. 

Garrus noticed that Mordin was looking at them curiously. “If you want to know, ask the doctor. She can explain it all to you,” he grumbled. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

The days passed slowly for Garrus. He rarely left Tania’s side. He had promised that he wouldn’t leave her side and that was one promise he wasn’t about to break. He knew he needed to regain her trust, but he couldn’t be as docile as he used to be. This Shepard needed someone stronger, and he would be that person.  

Shepard’s eyes fluttered open. She felt content. Her eyes darted around the room before settling on the turian sitting next to her. “How long?” she croaked tiredly. Her mind was fogged, as though having trouble regaining consciousness. She knew she was the type of person to wake immediately, so this worried her. 

“Two days. You’ll feel off for a bit. Mordin had to do a few things in that brain of yours. He said it was challenging, and I tend to agree with him,” Garrus smirked as she scowled at him. 

“What did he do?” she asked, her brain slowly clearing. 

“Took out one chip, but he left the other one in,” Garrus told her.

“What changes can I expect?” she looked at him curiously. 

“We’ll find out,” Garrus smirked. He could already see a change. There was certainty in her eyes, and the confidence that had been missing was there. He knew her memories weren’t there, but her personality had returned. He could see it. This was his wife he was looking at right now - the one he had been missing. 

Tania watched Garrus as he grinned. Seeing those sharp teeth didn’t scare her now, nor did it make her uneasy. She thought about the other crew members. She knew she would have to prove to them that she was in command – Jack and Zaeed, in particular. Before they would trust her, she would have to put them in their place.

It was odd. She felt more certain of her ideas. It was like a curtain had been lifted off of her brain. Her thoughts weren’t so erratic or chaotic. “Have Jack and Zaeed suit up for the Horizon mission. You are to suit up, as well. I’ll be speaking with Mordin about the modification he made to our armor to protect us from the Collector drones,” she stated briskly, smiling as Garrus nodded in approval. 

“Will do. And, Shepard, it’s good to have you back,” Garrus grinned before leaving. 

Tania looked toward EDI’s console. “I know you are listening. Have Mr. Moreau scan the surface of the planet. I want all possible information before we land. A specific layout of the colony is a must,” she ordered. 

“Mr. Moreau has been informed,” EDI stated. “He has a message. ‘It’s about time you showed up’. Logging you out, Shepard.”  

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

She stared down at her omnitool, looking at the layout that Joker had sent her. The place was large with a full maze of buildings. If the Collectors were down on the planet, at least they would have a lot of cover. She looked at the population and hoped not all of them had been taken. 

One thing she didn’t understand was why the Alliance wasn’t getting involved in protecting their people. That was their job, but she hadn’t seen them at all. The only groups investigating the Collectors were Cerberus and the quarians. From the information Valern had given her, the Council wasn’t involving themselves in the problems of one race.  

A scowled marred her face as she thought about that turian. She couldn’t believe that he had betrayed her. When she was with him she had felt safe and secure. Then he did this. She didn’t understand it. She remembered the look on Garrus’ face when she told him about Valern. The murderous look in his eyes and his determination to find and kill Valern had scared her, but now she thought it was a good idea. She had agreed with him because she hadn’t wanted him to turn against her. 

Now she knew he would never turn against her. She believed him when he said that he loved her. It was amazing to see the changes that had taken place with the removal of the chip. Now it was time to stop the Collectors, and keep one more colony from falling into their grasp. 


	11. Chapter 11

Shepard stepped off the shuttle and glanced around. Garrus followed behind her and Zaeed and Jack finished the team. “Well, it looks like they are still here,” Tania murmured, glancing at the large ship. 

“What’s the plan?” Garrus asked. Zaeed rolled his eyes at the back of Garrus’ head. He wished he hadn’t asked. This woman didn’t know how to lead. His eyes narrowed as Shepard smirked at him. 

“Kill any Collectors you come across, and check for survivors,” she answered, her eyes never leaving Zaeed. “Problem, Zaeed?” she asked calmly. 

“No,” he bit out, scowling at her. 

“Good. You’re taking lead. Jack is covering you. Garrus, you have our backs. If there is a large group of them, find a spot for sniping. Jack, help Zaeed out with any hidden Collectors. Questions?” she asked, giving Zaeed a challenging look. When no one said a word she nodded, pleased. “Move out!”

Tania moved to the side of one of the buildings, waiting for Zaeed to take lead. She scanned the area, counting the enemies and formulating a plan of attack. 

Zaeed and Jack moved up beside Garrus for a moment. “What the hell happened to her?” Zaeed asked, looking shocked. 

“Mordin removed one of the chips that Miranda had placed within her a few days ago,” Garrus murmured, not taking his eyes off of his wife. 

“Miranda? Who the fuck is that?” Jack spat, annoyed. 

“Someone who betrayed Shepard,” Garrus answered absently. 

“What he forgot to tell you is that Shepard punched her hand through the bitch’s chest and crushed her heart. Most of us were in the Mess Hall, eating and watching the show,” Zaeed explained and grinned at the shocked look on Jack’s face. 

“What the hell is taking so long?” Tania asked, stalking toward them. “I gave an order and I expect it to be followed. There are ten Collectors waiting around the corner. Garrus, stay by the wall and start sniping. Zaeed, you go down the middle and take out as many as you can. Jack and I will cover you,” she snapped angrily. This time she hoped they followed her. If they didn’t, she would have to remind them who was in charge.

Jack felt a chill go up her spine as she looked at Shepard. She had never seen her angry; fearful and uncertain, but never angry. Now she wished she hadn’t seen it. Shepard’s irises burned red as she stared at her. It was eerie to see. 

Jack stood beside Shepard, ready to cover Zaeed. She glanced at Garrus, noticing that it took him a few shots to take down one Collector. She raised a Collector up and smirked as Garrus shot it. She was annoyed Shepard wasn’t doing anything. She was crouched, watching everyone kill off the Collectors. 

“Tania, what is it?” Garrus asked. 

“Something’s off. I’m not sure what it is, but my gut is telling me that we are about to learn something new,” she muttered. 

“Ah, shit,” he muttered, staring down at his wife for a moment. He was about to ask for more information, but Zaeed cut him off through the com. 

“Why did I get a bad feeling when she said that?” he asked wryly. 

“The crew of the original Normandy always listened to Tania’s gut feelings. They were never wrong and you should be worried,” Garrus muttered. He scoped out the area and stopped on a Collector who began to glow and rise into the air. 

“Shepard, found that ‘something new’,” he said, pointing to the Collector. 

* _I am_ _assuming direct control!*_ they heard it say. 

“What the fuck…” Shepard whispered, horrified at what she was seeing. 

“That about covers it,” Zaeed muttered. 

“Garrus, Zaeed and Jack, take care of the others. I’ll take this one. I don’t want another Collector possessed,” she ordered coldly. 

“You got it, Tania,” Garrus murmured, grinning as he watched his wife’s biotics flare to life. Zaeed and Jack took a few steps back; their eyes widening as blue fire erupted all around her. 

He watched as she shot her hands toward the possessed Collector. Jack and Zaeed began firing at the other Collectors, trying to take them out quickly so they could aid Shepard. Garrus glanced at Tania’s opponent and watched its shields drop. He wasn’t surprised. He was more worried about her losing control. He knew how bad that could be and he wanted to avoid any problems if he could. 

Tania moved ahead, ignoring her crew members. She stayed alert to the area and looked on in wonder as the possessed Collector she was fighting turned into dust. It was odd. She’d hit it once with a full burst of her biotics, but it was the second lesser shot that seemed to destroy it. 

She glanced over her shoulder when she felt someone standing right behind her. She should have known who it was. Garrus was the only one on the ship that would stand this close to her. “What do you think?” she asked softly as they passed another frozen colonist. 

“I think they need to be stopped and you need to be careful. You’re on edge and we don’t need you losing control,” Garrus warned her. 

“What happens if I lose control?” she asked softly, looking at him uncertainly. 

“The only time I saw you lose control you took down a powerful asari matriarch without a problem,” he began.  “However, according to what you’ve told me, that wasn’t always the case. On a previous mission, your team was charged with investigating a facility. One of your team members betrayed you and two team members died. You lost it when your remaining team was captured. You found where they were being held and lost control very badly. You killed two team members and injured another, though the rest were saved. Since that time, you’ve always been terrified of losing control,” Garrus told her. 

“How did I free them?” she asked, enraptured by the story. 

“You destroyed the room where they were being held. When you were finished, half of the building was gone,” Garrus stated. Tania searched his face, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He seemed accepting of the facts. What she heard horrified her. She couldn’t believe that she was capable of that amount of destruction, but he didn’t seem to care. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

After facing hordes of Collectors, they located the central control panel for the planetary defense cannon that the Alliance had installed. At first glance the field appeared to be safe. Zaeed and Jack flanked right, while she and Garrus moved down the center. After hearing Garrus’ tale of her biotics, she was more hesitant about using them. When there were groups she would lift their enemies and allow Garrus to finish them off. It was the possessed Collectors that made her the angriest. They were a lot harder to kill. Her first kill had been easy, but she had used a lot of biotics. Now she knew that wasn’t a good idea. 

“We’re clear, Shepard,” Garrus told her. Zaeed and Jack met them at the console. 

“Garrus, set up a link with EDI. See if she can get those cannons up and running,” she ordered. “Expect heavy resistance.”

She wasn’t surprised when husks began swarming them. She covered Garrus the best she could, but he was under constant fire and his shields were dropping fast. Without fear or second thoughts, she placed a biotic field around him; putting as much of her energy as possible into it. With part of her concentration on Garrus, she turned to the Collectors and shoved them back; trying to give them some breathing room. Jack and Zaeed hid behind cover, killing as many as they could. Unfortunately, the waves of enemies only seemed to get stronger. 

She glanced at Garrus when he moved up beside her. “EDI is almost finished,” he told her. 

“Holy shit,” Jack whistled. They turned their attention to the object that had captured the criminal’s attention. 

“What the hell is that?” Shepard asked quietly. 

“Beats the hell out of me, but it’s going to be a bitch to kill,” Zaeed muttered. 

“Shepard, you’re going to need your energy. Take this field down,” Garrus told her. 

“Not a chance,” Tania growled, glaring at him. The thought of leaving him unprotected brought a cold feeling to her stomach. It almost made her sick. 

They ran for cover, but the other Collectors made it nearly impossible. They hadn’t cleared out the area yet when the new opponent arrived. Garrus cringed when he noticed the flying Collector following Shepard. They ignored the words it said, but it was obvious that it wanted Tania very badly. Garrus watched as Tania ducked behind some crates. Unfortunately, she wasn’t fast enough. The creature’s beam caught her in the shoulder and sent her flying across the field. For a moment he thought he had lost her again, but then he heard her curses and smirked. 

Garrus stood up, firing at the creature. He was trying to draw its attention from his wife and give her a chance to get to safety. He cringed and ducked as the beam was drawn to him. He could feel the heat of it and hoped it would miss him. Quickly he moved to a different area, out of range. 

Zaeed watched as Garrus drew the flying monstrosity’s attention. He thought it was a stupid move, but he understood the turian’s reasoning. Zaeed fired a few shots, but was unable to distract it. He turned his attention back to Garrus when he saw him fly through the air. His eyes widened as he heard the Commander yell _“NO”_! 

Jack was crouched beside him. “Run!” she yelled when she saw Shepard. They began running, but Zaeed glanced over his shoulder and stopped. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The objects that were once on the ground at Shepard’s feet were not caught up in an invisible cyclone, spiraling around her. The Collector was caught in the same vortex. Shepard’s feet were well off the ground and he couldn’t actually see her through the blue fire radiating around her. He watched as the area that had once been littered with debris was completely cleared away. 

“What the hell is going on?” he asked the biotic beside him. 

“Someone really pissed her off,” Jack stated. Her eyes were wide as she watched the show of biotics. 

“Where is Garrus?” Zaeed asked urgently. 

“Look closely at the display and you’ll see him,” she muttered, pointing out the turian that was walking through the tornado as if it wasn’t there. They glanced back at the flying Collector and couldn’t find it. 

“Is he fucking nuts?” Zaeed spat. He watched Garrus walk up to Tania and take her hand. He couldn’t believe that he wasn’t being harmed. 

Garrus watched his wife and smirked. He had been expecting this when he went flying through the air. She thought he had been harmed, but he was only banged up. He took her hand and waited to see what she would do. He could feel the biotics rush through him and purred as he pulled his wife to him. He knew it would take a bit for her to regain control. “Come on, Shepard. It’s over. You can let go of your biotics,” he told her softly. He hoped she didn’t take it within herself. That was the last thing they needed. 

He felt her let it go in a burst of bright light. Her biotics passed over him, almost bringing him to his knees in pleasure. He pulled her to him, holding her tightly; his face buried in the crook of her shoulder. He wanted to take her right there on the ground and sate his need, but he knew he couldn’t. He wouldn’t relent until he was holding his wife again. That promise was becoming harder to hold onto with the passing of each day. “Feeling better?” he asked. His voice was muffled against her shoulder. He smirked as he heard the roughness in it. He couldn’t hide it even if he had tried.  

“Yeah, actually I am. My body doesn’t feel like it’s about to burst,” she mumbled. She curled into him, feeling secure and content.  

Garrus chuckled against her skin. He’d missed this - holding her close without feeling her flinch or smelling her fear. He was about to say more, but didn’t get the chance. The colonist they’d met earlier interrupted them with a disgusted look. 

“What? You let them get away!” he yelled at them. Garrus glanced over his shoulder as Zaeed and Jack moved toward them. 

“You want me to go onboard a Collector’s ship and save them? There was no way to save them,” Shepard spat, glaring at the infuriated man. 

“Shepard, do you want me to call for a pickup?” Garrus asked.

“Shepard. I know that name. You’re some Alliance hero,” the colonist hissed disdainfully.

“Commander Tania Shepard-Vakarian. First human Spectre and the Hero of the Citadel. You are in the presence of a legend.” The voice belonged to a man Shepard didn’t recognize. The stranger moved forward, a mixture of emotions playing across his face

“Kaidan, it’s good to see you,” Garrus murmured. He wondered how this was going to play out.   

“Of all the people that got left behind, you had to be one of them. It figures,” the colonist spat belligerently. 

Kaidan walked up to the group, his eyes widening as he saw Shepard standing there. He glanced around and shook his head. If he needed proof that this was Shepard, he had it. The area was totally destroyed. He turned his focus back to Tania and still couldn’t believe that she was standing before him. He remembered Joker’s look and knew that she died. She had to have died. Shepard would never just vanish, especially with Garrus waiting for her. 

“Shepard, they told us that you died. How is it…?” Kaidan started, but stopped when the woman cut him off. 

“Hold on. Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t know who you are. Yes, I was dead. I have no memory of my previous life, so I won’t be able to address any issues you have with my absence,” Tania muttered in annoyance.

_This man, fighting by her side, a smile on his face. Looking at her with respect and trust._

  _A group of humans and aliens sitting at a table. Garrus was beside her and this guy was across from her, laughing._

_Fear in his eyes as he bounced around in a vehicle, glaring at her…_

She snapped out of the memories. She had known this human before, but he seemed different. The respect that used to be in his eyes was gone. The trust that she had seen had vanished, as well. Right now they were filled with confusion and anger. 

His eyes widened when he heard that she had no memory. He glanced at Garrus for confirmation.  “If you died, how is it you are here?” Kaidan asked, looking at her oddly. 

“An organization called Cerberus brought me back,” Tania answered. Garrus stood beside her, watching intently. He knew something that they wouldn’t like was about to happen. He could see Tania had the same feeling. 

“Cerberus? You’re working for them now? You’d betray the Alliance?” Kaidan stated coldly. 

“Betray the Alliance? How the hell can I betray an organization that I don’t even remember? Where the hell has the Alliance been while all of these humans have been abducted? Where the hell were they when I’ve been to the Citadel? None of them came to see me or requested to see me. The only ones who seemed interested in the fact that I am alive were some turians. Why should I give a fuck about the Alliance when they have been sitting on their asses doing nothing? The only organization who seems to care _is_ Cerberus!” Tania snarled, her anger at an all-time high. 

“Have you thought that maybe Cerberus is behind these abductions and using you?” Kaidan stated smugly. 

Tania laughed. It was something that had crossed her mind a few times. “Well, he better hope he isn’t. The woman who helped to bring me back betrayed me and I put my hand in her chest; crushing her heart because of it. I’ll do the same or worse to the Illusive Fuck,” Shepard smirked. “So you can go back to this organization that you say cares so much and tell them that it’s the Collectors and Reapers doing this.”

 “You’re making a mistake, Shepard,” Kaidan warned and started walking away. 

“No. The Alliance made a mistake in not protecting its people,” Shepard stated softly. She knew the human had heard her. “Garrus, radio for pick up.”

Shepard turned away from the stranger. She didn’t know why it hurt to see him walk away from her, but it did. Her eyes widened as she saw the mess she’d made. What had been a nice and neat layout of bins was now a disaster area. The largest piece they found was about the side of her forearm. “And this is what happens when you lose control,” Garrus murmured, looking at her handy work. 

Tania stood there stunned. She knew that she was a powerful biotic, but she hadn’t expected this. She glanced around and shook her head. 

_Power filled her, rode her. She raised a hand and the asari went flying. Anger built up within her, making the power grow. She stalked toward the downed asari like a predator to its prey. She could see she was almost dead, but that didn’t matter. She raised her arm and finished her…._

Shepard stood there gasping. The power and energy had been more than she could imagine. What she felt then was more than what she was used to now. The power she felt from both experiences was terrifying. She glanced at Garrus, trying to gauge his reaction. It didn’t look like it bothered him at all. She didn’t understand how he could remain so calm in the face of such destruction. 

Zaeed and Jack followed behind them. Jack was watching their leader with newfound appreciation. She smiled the whole time Shepard had given that guy shit; using logic that went right over his head. She made him look like a fool. She would now be willing to go on missions with Shepard. She had to rethink her assumptions about Shepard. She assumed that she was weak, but what she saw today wasn’t weakness. 

Zaeed smirked when he saw the fire in Shepard’s eyes. He had to admit that whatever operation the salarian performed had done its fucking job. This was the Shepard he had heard about, sort of. This Shepard was a bit harsher than the older one, but he knew that people often changed after years of separation from everyone.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Tania sat in her room, staring at the turian not far from her. She forced herself not to glance at the bed. She was more than willing at the moment; but he had been adamant that he wouldn’t fuck anyone but his wife and he didn’t consider her that yet…

The more she was with him, the more she believed that they were married. It was the way he looked at her and spoke to her or how he touched her. He knew her well - knew her body very well. He knew how to touch her so that she was left wanting more; yearning for him for days. She smiled and knew that she was the same way with him. She didn’t know what she was doing, but a part of her knew his body as well as her own. She hadn’t been able to test it yet, but she knew she was right. 

“What are you thinking?” Garrus asked with knowing eyes. 

“How long are you going to hold out?” she murmured, giving him a challenging look. 

“Until you are you,” Garrus stated firmly. 

“What will you do if I don’t get my memories back? Can you accept that? I may never remember the past that you do,” she asked softly.

Garrus watched her with searching eyes, wondering what she was looking for. “Tania, memories or not, I’m not leaving you,” Garrus stated. He smiled as she leaned her head on his chest, one arm wrapped around his waist. It was late and he knew he should leave and let her sleep, but he couldn’t. He missed sleeping with his wife in his arms. 

“Then why won’t you have sex with me?” she asked softly, hiding her face so he wouldn’t see the blush that was burning her cheeks. 

“You’re not ready. That’s why,” he murmured, stroking her back. 

She raised her head and glared at him. “Excuse me? Not ready?” she spat incredulously. 

“You’re not. Tania, I’m in this till the end. I love you. Can you say the same?” Garrus asked seriously. “If I’m to mate with you, I don’t want it to be for relief. I want us to be together as we were.”

 _Do I love him?_  she asked herself. She wasn’t sure of the answer. Everything within her screamed yes, but she wasn’t sure if she should listen to that part. This was a new time for her. She couldn’t go by old emotions. But if she was truthful, she did care for him a lot. When she saw him fly through the air, anger and rage had filled her at the idea that someone had harmed him. The thought of him leaving her hurt more than she cared to admit. _Was that love or old emotions showing themselves?_ She didn’t have the answers. 

Instead of answering, she leaned her head back on his chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. Just that sound brought her peace. 

Garrus smiled down at the top of his wife’s head. He had seen the answer in her eyes, even though she was confused about it. He didn’t blame her for being confused. He knew her lack of memory was hard for her. 

His biggest concern was still Pallin and Valern. The fact that both men had taken advantage of Tania infuriated him. He had grudgingly accepted Pallin’s reasoning, but he wanted Valern dead. The thought of his mate touching that turian intimately always sent him into a rage. 

However, even that image couldn’t dim his peace at this particular moment. Not with his wife lying against him on the couch. He hoped that when the time finally came, Tania would allow him to get his revenge. 

He glanced down at his wife and chuckled as he saw that she had fallen asleep. He picked her up carefully and purred softly as she held him close. He moved her to the bed, placing her gently down upon it. He thought about leaving, but couldn’t. 

Garrus quickly stripped out of his armor and left his under clothes on. He crawled onto the bed next to his wife, pulling her close to him. He smiled as she curled up to him. One arm slid around his waist, while the other rested along his neck, giving him the support he needed. He held in a chuckle as he realized that she was barely on the bed anymore. It seemed that he had turned into the bed. He didn’t mind in the least. It brought back memories of a time before he had lost her to the Collectors.

He lightly brushed his mandibles against the top of her head and smiled softly as her scent filled him. It was the same scent as before - the one that always drove him mad with desire. He pulled her closer, purring softly. Home - he was finally home in his wife’s arms. She may not have her memories, but he had her back. Now all she had to do was admit that she still loved him and he would be able to breathe again. 

His purrs turned deeper as her hand idly rubbed the back of his neck. He knew he should move her hand away from that area, but he couldn’t. He sighed as she moved slightly, curling more securely into his embrace. 

His mandibles flared wide as a new scent came to him. His eyes widened and his breathing completely stopped. 

He knew he had to leave immediately. 

He needed to run. If he didn’t…

He closed his eyes and groaned torturously. 

His mate was in heat. 

Garrus stared out of the window above her bed and cursed the spirits for their warped sense of humor. The next few days were going to be hell on him. It looked like Tania might get her wish and have her husband any way she wanted. 

That thought alone made Garrus groan. The seams of his protective folds were wide open, allowing his buddy loose. He glared down at his wife’s head and hissed. 

Garrus tried to move her off to the side of the bed. Tania immediately reacted –groaning and tightening her grip on him in protest. He knew tonight was going to be hell. Utter hell. He swore to himself that he wasn’t going to do anything to his wife. Not now. He prayed that he would be able to keep that promise.      


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Tania curled up to the hard body next to hers. She didn’t need to be told that it was Garrus. She was shocked that he was still in her bed, but didn’t mind, it gave her a sense of security. 

Lazily she watched his as he slept, her head resting on one arm as she traced the tattoos that highlighted his features. She watched as his eyes snapped open, alert. 

Garrus watched his wife, seeing what she was going to do next. He wanted her and waiting for her was hell. She was closer now than she had been since he met her, but there were still her memories. Something she may never get back. The other problem was, could he accept that his wife had already been with two different turians? He knew she was with Pallin once, but he didn’t know how many times she was with Valern. He didn’t want to know, yet a part of him wondered. 

Gently he brushed her hair out of her eyes. He grinned as he heard her gasp, he could see it wasn’t fear but pleasure. She leaned into his touch and Garrus had to fight not to take her, especially when her eyes turned smoky. 

Tania noticed the anguished look in his eyes and wondered about it. She could also see desire but it was the look at that overshadowed the desire that had her attention. She wanted to ask, but she wasn’t sure if she should, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what he was thinking. She laid her hand gently against his cheek waiting to see what he would do. She smiled as he brushed her hand with his mandible. Taking a fortifying breath she asked the question that needed to asked. “What are you thinking?” she asked softly. 

“Valern. You were with him. How often were you with him, why were you with him?” Garrus asked, his voice turning hard and foreboding. 

Tania nodded in understanding. She had been expecting these question since she found out that her and Garrus were husband and wife. Actually he started asking them when she first met and was lost. Tania rolled onto her back staring up through the widow over her bed thinking of how to answer. “Why was I with Valern? The first time I thought he was you. When I woke, I knew I was missing something. I had to fight my way out of the place at one point I lifted some sinthetics with my biotis and there was no shot, no nothing. I glanced over my shoulder expecting to see some there but the hall was empty,” she trailed off remembering that time. It still made her eyes burn. 

Garrus propped himself up on one arm, watching her and the emotions. He had never heard this before and knew what it meant for her to relive these memories. The only true memories she had. “Finally we were out of there and I was onboard of the Normandy. I had a flash of an alien with white and blue markings. I met up with Valern and felt safe. I thought he was the one I was missing. But he wasn’t, when we had sex I knew he wasn’t. While we had sex, I flashed back to someone else – you I think. Valern thought he did a good job but it wasn’t him that I was with.” She hesitated swallowing thickly remembering those moments. 

“The second time we were together I gave up hope of finding the one who was missing. With Valern I felt safe, I knew I could trust him or so I thought. So I had sex with him again. Even that time it was blue piercing eyes that I was watching, not Valern’s, so once again I was with someone else not him,” she gave a self-degrading smile.

“Why Pallin?” Garrus asked in confusion. 

“He had blue eyes. I knew him, so I thought he was what was missing,” she whispered. 

Garrus pulled his wife closer, feeling content with her body on his. He grinned as he thought of what Tania said, so while she was with Valern she had been thinking of their time together. It was sweet justice, one he would make sure Valern knew before he died. 

He watched as his wife relax, her one arm around his waist. “What do you plan now that you have the whole story?” she asked quietly. She thought he would leave and she didn’t blame him. But she didn’t understand why he was still holding her. 

“Well you have no more pickups, so we need to get everyone ready for fighting the Collectors and go from there,” Garrus told her. 

“That wasn’t what I was asking,” Tania scowled. “Are you going to start avoiding me now that you know the truth?” she asked bluntly. 

“Why would I?” he asked with a shake of his head. He rolled them over so that Tania was beneath him, “I didn’t leave when I knew you slept with Valern. Just allow me my revenge,” he stated. 

“I already told you, you can have it, but it has to be planned,” she bit out with annoyance. 

“How would you plan it?” Garrus asked curiously. 

“If I was going to kill him? I would seduce him, get him somewhere private and when he’s vulnerable strike, but that wouldn’t work now, especially not after reading Pallin’s message. Remember Valern wants us dead and has hired an assassin,” she grumbled. 

“I don’t think we will have to worry about that assassin,” Garrus murmured, remembering the drell. 

“Why do you say that?” she asked cautiously. 

“You’ve met Thane Krios. He was with us on one mission. He also had the opportunity to meet your parents. Valern also hired him to gather information for your missions while you chased after Saren,” Garrus answered thinking back to that time when things were easier and not as complicated. 

“So what makes you think we can trust him?” Tania asked, still not understanding. That wasn’t enough for a person to trust someone. One mission together didn’t gain trust that fast. 

“He respected you. That’s how I know,” Garrus stated. 

“Well if he comes hunting, we will find out won’t we,” she commented. 

“Shepard, the Illusive Man wishes to talk with you,” Mr. Moreau announced. 

“What does he want?” she asked annoyed. 

“Not my place to ask and he wouldn’t tell me anyways. Maybe he missed you,” Joker answered sarcastically, rolling his eyes knowing she couldn’t see what he did.  

“That I highly doubt, though if you’re right he can up my pay then, just to show how much he missed me,” Tania answered with a grin. 

She listened to Mr. Moreau’s laughter as he cut coms. She crawled out of bed, shaking her head. “Wonder what the ass wants,” she muttered. 

Garrus chuckled as he watched his wife stalk out of the room. With a groan he glanced down at himself shaking his head. If this continued he mind as well live in the shower, he thought annoyed as he made his way to the shower. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard stalked out of the meeting scowling. She ignored Kelly as she went to her computer. The Illusive man had told her there were more dossiers waiting for her. She glanced at the first one, a Justicar. She had never heard of them, but since she was asari she was betting she was powerful. 

Her eyes widened – an Asari coming on board – Mordin had said an asari could help her. Fear, happiness, and fear moved through her. She didn’t want to hope, but maybe she would get her memory back. She wanted to rush and show Mordin right now but she needed to look at the other dossier first. 

Her eyes narrowed when she spotted the second one. Thane Krios, assassin. It looked like the drell had found a way and Garrus was wrong. “EDI have Garrus come to CIC.” She ordered. 

Her breath caught when she read the third one, Tali. She remembered meeting the young quarian. She wasn’t sure about having her onboard. 

“You wanted to see me Shepard?” Garrus asked as he saw conflicting emotions cross her face. 

“Yeah, read this,” she ordered moving off to the side for him. She hadn’t expected to see him grin, nor had she expected the chuckle. “It’s not funny. This is the same assassin Valern hired. He found a way Garrus. He plans on doing the contract.” She snapped. 

“Maybe, maybe not. I highly doubt he is doing the contract,” Garrus murmured. He remembered the drell, he didn’t think Thane would turn against Shepard. The drell knew what was going on with the reapers and all. Though he wondered why they would have his dossier if he didn’t plan on fulfilling it. 

“I am not trusting him as easily as you are,” she muttered. “and you should look at this.”

Garrus eyes widened when he saw the title Justicar. An asari was going to be onboard. He glanced at his wife, “We should talk with Mordin about this,” he told her. 

“No, not until I meet this Justicar.” She said quietly. There was no way she was going to get her hopes up.

“Have it your way, but you know you will have to talk with him soon,” Garrus smirked as she scowled at him. He raised a brow waiting for her to relent. 

“Not now, when I meet her and she’s on the ship, maybe,” she answered. 

Kelly stood at her terminal listening to the two of them. She hid her smile as the talked. She couldn’t believe the change in Shepard already. She walked around the ship with confidence. She had heard what Miranda had planned and done, she couldn’t believe that happened. They all had been told that Shepard was unchanged, but Miranda had lied about that. She couldn’t believe that Miranda was dead and Shepard killed her. 

She sneaked a peak at the couple and hid her smile. She could see that Shepard cared for Garrus even though she wouldn’t admit to it. It was obvious that Garrus loved her. She almost had to take a cold shower a few days ago when Garrus had Shepard cornered, she hadn’t been able to hear what was said. But the look in their eyes there was no mistaking what they were thinking. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

The first place she went to before picking up the dossiers was the Citadel. Pallin had told her he wanted to speak with her. Garrus had stated that he was joining her, he had a few questions for Pallin also. Shepard hoped there wouldn’t be a fight, that was the last thing she needed. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Garrus woke to an empty bed with a groan. He sat up quickly and scanned the room, but didn’t see his wife anywhere. He relaxed when he heard the shower running in the bathroom. The sweet smell of her soap wafted to him as the doors opened several minutes later. His body was at full attention now. His wife wore only a towel and it barely covered her. He wanted to take her immediately, but knew he should wait. They would be landing on Illium soon.

“You better get ready. We are almost there and you’re _not_ staying behind on this one,” Tania muttered, worry slithering through her. They were about to go after Thane Krios, the assassin that had been hired to kill them. She wanted to shoot him at first sight and be done with it, but Garrus said she should trust him. Pallin had told her the same thing. Though something deep inside told her that she could trust the drell, she couldn’t allow herself to relax. Not this time. 

“There is no way you’re leaving me behind this time as it is,” Garrus told her as he wrapped his arms around her shoulder, pulling her close to his hard body. He purred his pleasure as she fit against him perfectly. “Quit worrying. You’ll soon see that there is nothing to worry about,” he told her softly. 

“We’ll see about that,” Tania sighed, resting her head on his chest for a moment before pulling away. 

“Krios won’t do anything,” Garrus reminded her. 

“You don’t know that for sure,” she told him heatedly. 

“True. I don’t, but I know he’s an honorable person,” Garrus murmured, his thoughts returning to the time they’d spent with Thane Krios. The drell had spent more time with Shepard than him, but what he had found out about him had eased all his worries. 

“Shepard, we are docking at Illium. Liara wishes to speak with you when you have a chance,” Joker stated. 

“Liara?” Tania questioned, looking to Garrus for an explanation. 

“Liara used to be part of your team. The two of you used to spend a lot of time talking. She is also the one who helped you decipher the visions you received from the beacon,” Garrus explained and cursed himself for his slip. He knew the information would lead to a lot of questions, and Mordin thought they should avoid explanations until she regained more of her memory. 

“Garrus, do you mind filling in some of those blanks, like visions, beacons and such?” Tania drawled, scowling at him. 

“I would, but Mordin thinks it would be better if we waited until you’ve gotten more of your memory back. When you have a large flash of memory you pass out, and I don’t want you harmed,” Garrus muttered, grimacing when his wife’s glare got darker. Mordin owed him big for this, and he would be collecting payment. 

“Fine, but Mordin and I will be speaking about this soon,” Tania muttered. She knew she couldn’t be pissed at Garrus. He was only following Mordin’s suggestion. “Since you’re ready, you can have that salarian suit up. He’s coming with us.”

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Thane stayed in the ducts of the Dantius Tower and watched Shepard, Garrus and a salarian walk through the doors. _So the time had finally come._ He wasn’t actually sure if it would since he turned down the contract. He said a quick prayer of thank you and watched them work. He had to smirk. Shepard hadn’t changed one bit. She was still fierce on the battlefield. He watched Garrus, seeing he was still protective of his wife. It made him wonder if the rumors of Shepard’s death were true. 

He noticed some changes. Her scars were gone and she seemed slightly hesitant at times. It was barely noticeable unless you’d seen her fight before. He listened as she issued orders with ease. She didn’t bother looking to see if they were followed, just like in his memories. 

A wistful smile came to him. He had actually missed working for Shepard. She had been a bright light in a dark time. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory coming to him. He nodded to himself when they finished the last mercenary and walked over to one of the doors. 

The Shepard he knew would help the injured salarian sitting there. He couldn’t, even though he wanted to. It pained him to realize that he couldn’t right all the wrongs done here tonight; but his chances of success had risen with Shepard’s arrival. He smiled as she squatted down, placing medigel on the worker’s injuries. Though Shepard had died, she was still the same woman he’d met years ago. That helped to ease his mind. He could still trust them. It was the Turian Councilor who was not to be trusted. 

He moved ahead, but still kept them in his sights. They moved from room to room, decimating Dantius’ guards. He had to hold in a chuckle. He knew Shepard would never use stealth. She didn’t know how. But at least she was doing these workers a favor by getting rid of the mercenaries. 

Thane moved across the bridge just before the new shift came on. The bridge was clear of all mercs, but he knew Shepard wouldn’t have an easy time of it. They bridge was too open. One wrong move could prove fatal. He jumped into a vent that overlooked the bridge and took out his sniper rifle, just in case. 

He watched as she moved up to the bridge, catching the attention of the guards. He didn’t see the salarian, but he saw Garrus hidden behind a nearby box. His eyes widened as she glowed bright blue. The sight of her biotic prowess had awed him when he first met her and it still did. 

_Three geth hid. Snipers couldn’t take them out. It was frustrating, to say the least. They would need to storm the building. He could have sneaked in, but Shepard was giving the orders and they were working as a team. He couldn’t go solo._

_He glanced at her and awaited her orders, even though she hadn’t given him any during this mission. It didn’t annoy him. She had been forced to bring him along, so he followed her lead. If they shot, he shot. If they fought, he fought. A few times she had nodded to him with a pleased smile. It was enough for him, shocking too. His employers never told him when he did a good job. He knew he’d been successful when the target lay dead at his feet. This was different. He wasn’t used to working as a team. Whenever he wondered if he’d performed as expected, she seemed to sense his unease and let him know she was pleased._

_He watched as Garrus passed her his sniper rifle. After a few minutes, she handed it back to him. He was about to ask what the orders were, but Wrex’s look told him to wait._

_He wasn’t sure what to make of the old krogan. He respected Shepard greatly and never questioned her orders. He thought for sure they would have to kill Wrex on Virmire, but the warrior had listened to whatever Shepard said and fought harder._

_His eyes widened as she glowed blue. Her eyes were like blue fire. Slowly she raised her hands. He quickly followed Garrus’ lead and took aim. He shot two geth, and Garrus took out one of them. He smirked as her eyes widened when he fired two shots. He wondered if she knew it had been him._

Now she was on fire, her body covered in blue flame. He waited to see what she would do. His mouth dropped for a moment as all of the guards were lifted from the bridge. He shrugged his shoulders and started pegging them off as Garrus had told him to those years ago. 

He smiled as her eyes widened. He waited as they crossed the bridge, looking at each of his kills. He waited until she was near enough that she could hear. “It’s been good working with you once more, Commander Shepard,” he murmured from his spot in the vent. 

“Thane Krios? Valern’s assassin. What do you know? You’re making my job easier by showing yourself like this,” Tania murmured as she stared up at the vent where the assassin was hidden. 

Alarm swept through him at her words. He felt the chill in her voice and it put him on alert. Something was wrong. All of his senses screamed at him to be careful. “I do not work for the Turian Councilor. I turned down that job. I will not kill an innocent and you, Commander, are innocent,” Thane stated with certainty. 

Tania was startled by what the raspy voice said. Her, innocent? _Since when?_ she asked herself. That was a first time she could ever remember being called innocent. “You know nothing of me,” she hissed. 

“I know more than you think, Tania Shepard,” Thane murmured before moving on. He knew for certain that something was wrong. Shepard was different, but he wasn’t sure what had happened. Her eyes still held the fire to fight and command, but her words were uncertain when she said he knew nothing about her. It wasn’t lack of confidence. It was as if she was uncertain if her words were true or false. It made him wonder what had happened during the two years that she was supposedly dead. 

Thane paused as they entered another room. Nassana’s office was close and he didn’t want to enter until they did. It would be the perfect opportunity for him. Shepard and her team would provide enough of a distraction that no one would notice him.

“I need to take a moment, guys,” Shepard muttered as her hands burned blue. He smirked as Garrus moved beside her, taking her hands into his. 

“Let go, Tania,” Garrus murmured. It brought back a few memories of the time when he had been aboard the Normandy. When she didn’t let go immediately, Garrus gave her a searching look. “What’s wrong?” he asked. Thane noticed that the salarian had moved away from them. 

“What Krios said. That he knows more about me than I think,” she muttered, shaking her head. Thane immediately became more alert at the mention of his name. 

“Tania, he knew you before you died. He’s been trained to read a person’s body language. Whether you remember or not, you did once trust him. He also caught us in compromising positions on more than one occasion,” Garrus told her. “If you had your memories, you would know that you can trust him.”

“We’ll see. You know I can’t trust that easily. Especially when Valern and the Illusive Prick are involved,” Tania muttered. 

“I’m sure the Illusive Man will enjoy his new name, but Thane just told you that he isn’t doing Valern’s dirty work,” Garrus told her. Thane didn’t know what to say. What he heard was shocking. Tania Shepard had no memory. It pained him to hear it. Shepard had been a vibrant woman, and the fact that she didn’t have any memories of her former life was difficult to take. He flashed back to her wedding and remembered something telling him that he had to watch and remember. He may not be able to bring light back to everyone, but he could bring it back to this woman. She deserved it more than most. 

“Maybe you’re right and maybe you’re wrong. We will see. But Garrus, if he crosses me, I won’t hesitate. I can’t. There is too much at stake,” Tania told him softly. 

“I know and if he crosses you, which I know he won’t, I’ll deal with it myself,” Garrus rumbled, placing a hand on his wife’s shoulder. It was the only intimacy they could show at the moment. 

Thane nodded his head. He understood why she would be distrustful of him. His mission was now clear. He needed to earn her trust once more. The fates had placed him with her for a reason. He would help Shepard anyway he could; even if that meant sharing his own memories with her. 

He needed to speak with Garrus and find out the details of what had happened to Shepard. He knew Garrus would know everything that had happened over the years. The turian rarely left her side. 

_Bright blue avian eyes stared down lovingly at a mass of brown hair. The turian smiled as his mate slept while they rode in the shuttle; heading back to the Normandy. Thane sat in the darkest corner watching, never to forget._

_Blue eyes met his. There was understanding in them. All walls were gone for a moment. “She used a lot of biotics, so she needs to rest,” Garrus explained._

_“Does this happen often?” he asked._

_“Quite often. She usually falls asleep when we reach her room. Seeing Saren placed more of a strain on her,” Garrus told him._

_“How did she become so powerful?” Thane asked. It was the one question that had been nagging him._

_“Quite a few incidents with eezo. She has been exposed to it on four separate occasions,” Garrus answered, smiling gently as his mate moved. Thane watched as he softly rubbed her back until she relaxed once more. He didn’t need someone to tell him that they loved each other. It was there for all to see._

_They boarded the ship, and he took a seat with Alenko. “Is there a mission Garrus doesn’t go on?” he asked the human. He wanted to learn as much as he could about Shepard. His instincts had pushed him to do this. Something told him that it was important to remember everything._

_“No, never. I wouldn’t want to be on a mission without Garrus there. Shepard’s biotics are scary when out of control, and Garrus is the only one able to help her,” Alenko answered._

 Thane flashed back to the present and glanced at the trio below him. So many memories, though he spent so little time onboard the Normandy. All of them were memories he would share with Shepard. He knew this now. 

Thane moved with Shepard’s team as the headed toward Dantius’ office. He felt remorse that Shepard didn’t have her memories, but he was pleased to see that it hadn’t changed her that much. 

“Know the drell?” the salarian asked. 

“Yeah. He served with us on the old Normandy for a while. The Turian Councilor had hired him to find information on the planets that Shepard would be investigating. If it wasn’t for him, our mission to find Saren would have been a lot harder. He was with us the first time we went up against Saren. He saw Sovereign and heard him, too,” Garrus answered.

“Wonder if the Illusive Man knew this. Seems too much of a coincidence that Shepard is teamed up with people she knew before,” the salarian commented. Thane eyes widened. What the salarian said was true. It was odd that Shepard was teamed up with many people from her past. 

“What are you suggesting?” Garrus asked, looking at the salarian with annoyance. Thane shared the same thought, though a lot less annoyed. He noticed that Shepard’s interest was also piqued. She moved closer to listen, as did he. 

“While working at the clinic, received message from Turian Councilor stating that Shepard was alive. Also wished information on you. Told him you were on Omega,” the salarian answered. Thane’s eyes widened when he heard this. He wondered what the Turian Councilor was up to and why he would have helped her when he now wanted her dead. None of this made sense. He needed a lot more information if he was to protect Shepard against any assassins that came their way. 

He smirked as Shepard shook her head. He could see the irritation plainly on her face. “We should get moving. I don’t want to be here all day. Krios is probably done with his assassination and on his way for a stiff drink. I know I would be,” Shepard muttered. 

Thane chuckled. “No, I am still here, Shepard,” he answered with amusement. 

“Has he always been like this?” Thane watched with amusement as she asked Garrus. 

“Yes. I’ve never met anyone better at stealth. You even tested him on the old Normandy,” Garrus answered, chuckling.

Tania was startled for a moment. She had thought for sure that the assassin would have continued on with his contract, but instead he had stayed near her. He had ample opportunities to kill them and hadn’t. It made her slightly less leery with regards to the assassin, but she still didn’t fully trust him. Not yet. And definitely not the way Garrus seemed to. 

“Well, Krios, can you please finish your contract so we can leave here?” she asked tiredly. 

“As you command,” Thane answered before moving quickly ahead. He smirked as he heard her last comment. _“Did he leave?”_

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Thane left Nassana’s body and walked toward Shepard. “Are you going to allow me on your team now?” he asked calmly. 

“Why do you want to follow me?” Tania asked with confusion. 

“I followed you once and you gave me purpose during dark times. I know you would only fight for a just cause,” he answered. 

Tania raised a brow at the wording. She wasn’t exactly sure what to make of it. He seemed so formal, but he was a trained killer. He had proven that. He had moved with a grace that impressed her. 

She looked him over. There was something familiar about him. Something stirred on the edges of her memory, but she couldn’t grasp it.

“Do we go after the asari Justicar today?” Garrus asked. “We should take Krios with us if that’s the case.”

Asari…it had something to do with that. _Asari…asari…_ then she remembered. _She was sitting on a crate. Garrus was about to test Krios… Tali sat beside her…_ _“Well, well, what do you know? We just found the equivalent of a male asari.”_ _She remembered a few of them laughing._

Tania slapped a hand over her mouth as the memory faded. She was trying to hold in her laughter. Of all the memories to have, she had to have that one. She didn’t know why, but it was good. It gave her something to smile about, instead of dwelling on all the death and destruction around them. 

“Tania?” Garrus asked, looking at her oddly. 

“Never mind, I’ll tell you later,” she murmured when she was certain that she wasn’t going to burst out laughing.

Garrus gave her a funny look, but shrugged his shoulders. He knew Tania sometimes found amusement at the oddest times. 

Tania turned her focus back to the drell. “I have a vague memory of meeting you once. What was going on or where I don’t know. You need to know, however, that I still don’t trust you. Garrus says I should, but I can’t,” Tania told him. She had to be honest with him. If he knew her before then he deserved that much. 

“Then I will have to earn that trust once more,” Thane murmured. 

“Earn it? It’s not an easy thing to earn,” Shepard warned him.   

 Thane smirked. “It is good to see some things haven’t changed that much. You didn’t hand out your trust easily back then, either,” he commented, meeting her eyes so she would see the truth in them.

Shepard blinked slowly and raised her brow when she couldn’t figure out what he meant. “Garrus?” she questioned instead of looking to Thane for more information. She wanted answers from someone she trusted. 

“I think he’s talking about when you tested him. One of the tests involved biotics and you were a bit harsh in your treatment,” Garrus answered with a chuckle as he remembered that time. 

Garrus glanced between his wife and Thane. He was pretty sure Tania still wasn’t going to allow him to board the ship, so he decided to step in. “Tania, let him come aboard,” Garrus murmured, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. One claw brushed against the exposed skin along her neck. He felt her shiver and chuckled.

“Fine, he can board,” she muttered, scowling at Garrus. She turned her attention back to Thane. “You’ll be coming with us to retrieve the Justicar,” she stated before leaving the office.

  


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Shepard sat in the mess hall alone. Garrus was doing calibrations on the cannons. The ship was quiet and she enjoyed the silence. She didn’t want to be alone in her room right now. It still didn’t feel like it belonged to her. Plus, she was positive that there were cameras everywhere in that room. 

The arrival of the asari had been interesting. The woman was powerful; it made Tania’s own biotics tingle. When she had made her oath and her biotics flared, hers had flared, as well. It actually felt peaceful for a moment and then it stopped. 

She glanced up when she heard movement near her table. She was surprised to see her two newest recruits enter the mess hall. She didn’t say a word as they went in search of food or drinks. She wasn’t sure which and didn’t really care at the moment. 

Her attention was only on the asari. It was this woman that Mordin thought would help her regain her memories. She still wasn’t sure what to think of his idea. Yes, she would love to have her memories back, but was there a downfall to his plan? Would it affect her, would it change her? She was nervous and hated it. 

“Shepard, you seem bothered,” Samara commented as she walked over to the commander. 

“I am, but it’s something I need to figure out on my own,” Shepard murmured. 

“Is it about the procedure Professor Solus mentioned?” Samara asked, taking a seat. She glanced at Thane as he joined them. He had mentioned that he wished to help Shepard with her memories. Samara thought it was a good idea, but they would need Shepard’s trust first. 

“So Mordin has already talked to you about it, I take it,” Shepard muttered, running a hand through her hair agitatedly. 

“When I went in for my exam, he explained his idea to me to see if would be possible,” Samara answered. “He’s hasn’t made any definite plans, of course. He said it was your choice, which it is.”

Shepard sat there for a few moments, not sure how to respond. She wasn’t forcing her into it, nor was Mordin. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if they had forced the issue. She glanced at Thane. “Garrus told me that drells remember everything,” she commented, trying to keep calm. 

“Yes, we have identic memory. We forget nothing,” Thane answered slowly. 

Shepard lowered her eyes. _So this assassin, one who knew her before, had more memories of her life than she did. It was depressing, to say the least._

Samara glanced at Thane, giving him a warning look that he chose to ignore. “Any memories I have of your life is yours for the taking,” Thane murmured, watching her closely. If he hadn’t been paying attention he would have missed the tensing of her shoulders, and the slight clenching of her hands. 

“Why? Why would you be willing to share them?” she asked hoarsely. He had answers to the questions that plagued her life; memories of a time before her death, and he was willing to share them. She was scared. What if she was a completely different person then, so different that she could never be the same? What if there were pieces of her memory that she would be better off without? 

“When I fought by your side those years ago, you gave me hope. You gave me something to fight for. You barely knew me, yet you treated me as one of your crew; even though Valern had forced you to accept me,” Thane answered softly. “I have worked alone for many years; but when I was with your crew you showed me something I had missed.”

Tania met his eyes and saw that he was hiding nothing. The stoic expression was gone, leaving him vulnerable to her scorn if she wished to dish it out. “What did you miss?” she asked softly. 

“Friendship, acceptance,” Thane answered. Samara sat back in her chair and watched the interaction between Shepard and the drell. She’d thought Thane was making a mistake by offering to help so soon, but it appeared that she was wrong. She was surprised that the assassin was opening up like this, allowing Shepard to see him without his guards up. If she was to guess, that was what broke through Shepard’s protective shell. 

Tania turned to the asari. “Did Mordin tell you what was involved in my memory loss?” she asked. 

“He did, but I won’t know exactly what I am dealing with until I link with your mind,” Samara replied. 

Garrus leaned against the wall across the room, listening to them talk with Tania. He smirked as he saw her indecision. He was relieved to see that she was moving closer to an answer. He was surprised at the assassin’s actions; allowing Tania to see inside his defenses. He could see that affected Tania more than anything - simple honesty. 

He decided to save his wife before she gave an answer. He knew she wasn’t ready yet, but she might be convinced to agree simply because she was emotionally tired. He stood behind Tania, placing a hand on her shoulder. He smiled as her hand automatically laced through his. He glanced at Samara and noticed the flash of surprise that crossed her face before her normally reserved expression returned. 

“I take it you were not informed that we are married?” Garrus asked with a grin. 

“No, no one said a word. How long have you been married?” she asked curiously. 

“If I include the two years that Shepard was technically dead, then it’s been almost three years,” Garrus answered, chuckling at her surprised look. 

They turned to Thane as he began speaking softly, but clearly. “Soft murmurs brush through the air. Two people stand facing each other. Bright green eyes smile, without burdens to darken them. Her face lights up, she only has eyes for Garrus. They say their vows and a cheer breaks the air, echoing off destroyed walls. Where there once was death and destruction life returns, hope is renewed. People celebrate, the Citadel is alive once more. Music plays, the newlyweds dance together as if alone,” Thane broke out of the memory, blinking his eyes rapidly. 

Tania sat before him in shock. “You were there?” she asked softly. 

“The ship that I was on joined the fight to protect the Council when you ordered it. Afterward, no ships were allowed to leave the Citadel for a few days. I left the day after your wedding,” Thane answered.

Tania stared at him for a few moments. When he talked about the wedding she could almost picture it. She didn’t know what to say or how to respond to the picture he just painted with his words. She looked up at Garrus and could see the hope in his eyes. She knew he wanted her to have her memories back. That alone nearly made her agree to their plan. But she couldn’t; she needed to think. These two strangers sat looking at her patiently, not forcing their knowledge on her. 

She nodded to them and headed to the elevator with Garrus following close behind. “What do you think?” she asked. She needed to hear him speak aloud what his eyes had already said. 

“I think you should do what you want to do, not what others think you should do,” Garrus murmured. 

“Will you be able to accept it if I choose not to do this?” she asked quietly, searching his bright blue eyes for her answer. She stared transfixed by those blue orbs that had been in her dream ever since the moment she’d awaken in the Cerberus facility. She lightly traced his face paint, following the lines; entranced by them as she waited for his answer. 

Garrus caught her hand and placed it on the side of his face, allowing his mandibles to flutter against her soft skin. He bowed his head, placing his forehead against hers. “Whether you have your memories or not, I’ll still love you,” Garrus said roughly. 

She felt her body heat at his words. Not with desire, though that was always in the background, but with contentedness and security. There was also that other emotion that had plagued her since their reunion; though she wasn’t sure if that one was real. Could she say that she loved him and mean it? She flashed back to a time when they were apart. She had searched for him, remembered him. When he hadn’t been there, it was agony. No matter how much she wished to deny it, she knew the truth. 

“I love you, too,” she whispered, smiling gently at the shocked look in his eyes. She grinned as she heard him purr and then found herself pinned to the bed; her husband staring down at her. Her eyes widened as she heard buttons pop and felt the cool air on her skin. 

Garrus looked down at his wife, seeing her desire. He could tell that she was speaking the truth. He thought about gloating, but he knew Tania would put him in his place quickly if he dared. Now wasn’t that time for that. He could do it later. Right now he wanted his wife, wanted to hear her cries of pleasure as she screamed his name. 

He tasted every inch of skin he could reach; slapping her hands away each time she tried to disrobe him. He held back a grin. He knew he wasn’t going to be on top much longer. He grinned, his mandibles spreading wide as he braced his legs. He could clearly see that she intended to take control. He watched as Tania’s eyes darkened before turning blue. His heart raced in anticipation of her next move, a growl reverberating through him as her eyes narrowed. 

Tania heard the growl and it made her blood pump. She could see the predatory look in his eyes. Without thinking of what she was about to do, she flared her biotics; using her enhanced strength to flip Garrus onto his back. She grinned wickedly as he struggled against her. 

Garrus bucked, knocking her off of his body. She rolled to her feet on the floor and crouched low, waiting for him to react. She wasn’t sure how it had happened. One moment their lovemaking was sweet and the next it turned into something else, something more primitive. She watched Garrus with narrowed eyes, trying to read his next move. She loved seeing him like this; his primal turian side in control. 

She hissed when he moved, and it was faster than she imagined it would be. She found herself pinned up against the aquarium. “That the best you got?” she taunted and enjoyed seeing his fringe vibrate. 

“Give up, Tania,” Garrus purred, burrowing his face against her neck and nipping at the soft skin there. 

“Never,” she whispered, hooking her leg around his, disrupting his balance so they both tumbled to the floor. She flared her biotics, pinning him beneath her. She felt him struggle for only a moment. He quickly stopped when she leaned her face down and brushed her mouth against his neck. She didn’t ask for permission, she knew this was what he wanted. She set her teeth on his neck and bit down hard.

She heard him roar and found herself pinned against the fish tank once more. She heard material ripping and thought nothing of it. She let his neck go and nipped her way along his softer skin. She cried out when she felt him thrust into her, his own teeth set against the crook of her shoulder. She held her breath in anticipation and clutched at him; pain and pleasure filling her when he pierced her skin. Her body was quaking as he held onto her with his teeth, pumping into her willing body. 

Garrus groaned. He knew he should let go of her shoulder, but he couldn’t. Every instinct in his body told him he had to hold her in place. He groaned as he felt himself swell more than usual. He hesitantly sniffed the air and caught a familiar fragrance. He couldn’t understand it since Shepard wasn’t currently in heat. He tore his teeth away from her shoulder as he emptied himself within her. 

He knew he couldn’t pull out; he was still pulsing within her. His body was acting as if she were in heat, even though she wasn’t. He tried to focus his mind on other things, but that was impossible. Tania’s muscles were still clenching around him. He bit off a groan as her nails dug into the soft hide beneath his fringe. Slowly he lowered to his knees, still locked inside her. 

Lust, desire and want for her still surged through him as if they hadn’t just coupled. His member throbbed at the thought, causing her to shudder violently. “Tania, we have a problem. I’m locked with you,” Garrus whispered hoarsely, trying to hold still so he didn’t harm her. 

She gave a husky chuckle. “Am I ovulating again?” she asked with a tender smile. 

Garrus moaned when her weight shifted. “No, you’re not,” he bit out breathlessly. 

“Hmm, that is odd. We’ll have to wait, then,” she murmured, leaning her head against his shoulder. She purred as Garrus pulled her closer. She was becoming used to being locked together, but she found it odd that it was happening when she wasn’t ovulating. She would talk with Mordin about it later.

Her body shivered as another gush of hot fluid filled her. She tried to keep very still so she didn’t become harmed or enflame Garrus’ passion even more. She vaguely noticed that this time was longer than any that came before it. It didn’t really worry her, but made her question why it was happening. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Mordin glanced up when his doors opened. He was surprised to see Tania standing there. “Something I can do for you, Tania?” he asked without looking up from his terminal. 

“Yes, Garrus and I need information,” Tania told him as she stood in front of his desk. 

“What information do you need?” Mordin asked, her focus directly on her. He knew there must be a real problem if she had come to him looking for information. 

“I hope you’re not squeamish,” Tania said and chuckled when she saw the insulted look on his face. 

“I’m a scientist. There is nothing you can say that would disturb me,” Mordin sniffed, looking at her haughtily.

“Ok, sorry. But this problem is quite intimate,” Tania murmured, beginning to squirm under his intense gaze. “You know how Garrus reacts when I ovulate? It happened again last night, but I am not ovulating,” Tania muttered, her face turning bright red as Mordin looked at her curiously. 

“Has this happened before?” Mordin asked quickly as he brought out a few scanners. 

“No, it only happens when I am ovulating,” Shepard reminded him. 

“Will need Garrus here. Need to run scans on him, too. Might need to have scans done while mating,” Mordin mumbled to himself. 

“The first part is fine, but you will not run any scans while Garrus and I having sex,” Shepard snapped coldly. 

“Thought you might respond that way, but had to ask. Still need Garrus here,” Mordin stated. 

The duo sat there quietly, waiting for Garrus to show up. For Tania it felt like hours, whereas it was only a few minutes. She faced the doors as they opened and Garrus stepped in. He went straight to her side, worry in his eyes. “I spoke to Mordin about our problem last night,” Tania told him and chuckled as he rolled his eyes. 

“Does he have answers?” he asked, giving her a curious look. 

“He wants to scan you. He’s already scanned me,” Tania told him. She rested a hand on his armored chest and looked at him with pleading eyes. There was only one answer he could give when she looked at him like that. It wasn’t fair. 

“Fine. Scan me, Mordin,” Garrus grumbled, waiting for the annoying scans to finish. They didn’t hurt, but they were an annoyance when he could be doing other things. 

“Might have answers shortly, but may not find an answer,” Mordin told them before turning back to his experiments. He didn’t glance up as they left. Once they were gone, he quickly downloaded the scans into the computer and compared them to previous tests. His eyes widened at what he saw. He had to make sure that he was reading this correctly. He called Chakwas to his office; maybe she would see something different. Because what he was reading was impossible without a lot of help.

Chakwas walked into Mordin’s office and saw the scientist pacing with a concerned look on his face. “What happened now?” Chakwas asked with a smirk. She was used to dealing with all kinds of oddities, especially with Shepard as commander. She made a doctor’s work unique. 

“There was an incident during Shepard and Garrus’ sexual encounter last night. Shepard came to me for answers. Did scan of both of them, and found this. Compared it to scan from last week,” Mordin told her, motioning toward his computer monitor. 

Chakwas stared at the data. She knew what these readings meant, but she was surprised to see them. “These are Garrus’?” she asked, pointing toward one of the screens.

“Yes. Shepard’s scans haven’t changed much, but her body is answering Garrus’ need,” Mordin murmured. “Have you seen these readings before?”

“No, neither of them have appeared like this before,” Chakwas murmured thoughtfully. 

Mordin nodded slowly, his mind already coming up with possible outcomes of these scans. He knew these scans could make things onboard very interesting.

“Check the turian database for similar scans,” Chakwas ordered. They watched as the results popped up and they looked at each other, eyes wide. “This shouldn’t be possible. It should have happened on the old Normandy if it was,” she whispered in awe. 

“Very possible that Garrus is coming to the age where his body will force him to take a mate. Tania is the only one that can cure him. We should talk with them about this once we have more information,” Mordin murmured thoughtfully. This would be a really good time for him to get data for his study of the married couple. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Tania sat on her bed, staring at the datapad in her hand. She had just downloaded the newest available mission to it, and now she had butterflies in her stomach. She wasn’t sure if it was fear or excitement. In her hand was the location of the Normandy’s crash site, her past and maybe her memories. 

She didn’t bother looking up when the doors opened. She already knew it was Garrus. “Tania?” Garrus questioned when she didn’t greet him. 

“Hmm?” she answered absently. 

“What is that?” Garrus asked, ignoring the others that had followed him into the room. 

“A mission,” she answered quietly and turned her focus back to the datapad. “And maybe my memories. Admiral Hackett wants me to go to the Normandy’s crash site and place a monument on its location. I also need to collect the dog-tags of the people who were lost in the crash.”

“No! There is no way in hell you are going down there!” Garrus growled, taking the datapad out of her hands. The last time her memories had surfaced, she had blacked out and nearly scared him to death. He wouldn’t allow it this time. That place would overload her and he couldn’t – _wouldn’t_ lose her now.  

“It’s not your choice, Garrus. I am going whether you like it or not. This needs to be done. Think of all those people who don’t know if their loved ones died there or not,” Tania reasoned. 

“You are not going alone,” Garrus hissed, his fringe swelling; showing his anger. 

“Yes I am,” she stated firmly. Her eyes flashed, showing that he was about to push her too far. They may be husband and wife, but she was the commander on this ship and her word was law. 

Garrus saw the warning in her eyes. He was tempted to push, but he knew better. “Fine, but I am going in the shuttle with you,” Garrus warned her. 

Tania sighed, the tension leaving her shoulders. “Fine,” she nodded. She knew she would need him afterwards. His presence in the shuttle as he waited for her was far better than having him over her shoulder, watching her every move. 

Samara waited by the door, watching the scene. She made no sound, allowing them their privacy. When she noticed another scent filling the air, her eyes widened. Without a word she left the commander’s room. She didn’t know what to make of the scent she had noticed. She knew what it meant, but Tania was human. Garrus’ body had to know that it couldn’t impregnate her. It made no sense; but then again, nothing in the married couple’s relationship was typical. 

Garrus treated her like a turian and bonded with her as if she was turian. He went as far as marking her, claiming her as if she were a female turian. Shepard, a human with no basic needs like turians and other races, claimed him, as well. She had seen the scars on Garrus’ neck, both old and new. Her studies told her humans didn’t mark their mates, so it didn’t make sense to her. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Tania stood by the shuttle, waiting for Joker to say that they were orbiting the planet. She was actually nervous about this mission and it wasn’t like her. Every time the door opened, she would automatically look that way. Now she had Thane and Samara standing there, waiting with her. 

It had been Garrus’ orders. He wanted them nearby if her memories became too much to bear. She could understand Samara’s presence, but Thane had been a complete surprise. 

Thane watched Shepard pace. He was still curious as to why Garrus had demanded his presence on this mission. He didn’t know how to link with a mind. His art was in assassination, not memories…. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; his identic memory could be used to help her. But he still didn’t understand why he was here. He knew he would be needed once the block was removed, but Shepard hadn’t agreed to the procedure yet. 

Thane glanced over his shoulder as the door opened once more. He smiled as he heard Shepard let out a sign of relief. He could feel her nervousness, even if it wasn’t visible on her face. He understood that this mission would have a large impact on her, and hoped that it didn’t harm her. He didn’t understand why Garrus didn’t step in and stop her from going down there. He could have done this mission as easily as she could. 

“Are you ready?” Shepard asked Garrus as he walked toward her. She could see the worry that covered his face. 

“No, but you are adamant on doing this. I still think you should wait,” Garrus muttered. 

“We’ve discussed this. I am not waiting,” Tania bit out angrily. 

“Then you better get onboard. Hesitate once and I am carrying you to our room,” Garrus warned, his hands clenching into fists at his side. Worry and fear ate at him. He knew what was going to happen; he just hoped it didn’t damage her brain or worse – kill her. He couldn’t go through that again. If she died, so would he. He knew this and accepted it. He had bonded with his wife. He had known it when she died the first time and her spirit had come to him and stayed with him for a while.

This time he wouldn’t wait for death. This time he would let himself go. He followed her into the shuttle, her hand within his. He needed to feel her; he needed to know that she was safe. His focus was on Thane. He hadn’t told the drell why he was here, but when Shepard stepped off the shuttle he would make sure the drell agreed to his demands. Thane was his fail safe right now. 

Thane felt Garrus’ eyes on him and met them without flinching. His breath stopped when he saw the open fear in them. He no longer needed to ask why he’d been invited along. He knew. No words needed to be spoken; it was in the turian’s eyes. It bothered him slightly that Garrus would look to him for this particular action, but he could understand it. He was trained to give a quick death and he would grant it to Garrus if Tania didn’t make it. But he would make sure that Tania was gone before he even contemplated taking the turian’s life. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Shepard stepped out of the shuttle, six pairs of eyes watching her intently. She thought they would close the doors, but they left them wide open. She hadn’t even glanced around; her full focus was on the white stuff beneath her feet. Snow. The Normandy had to crash onto a planet covered in snow. She was so glad that her armor had temperature control or she would have been an icicle in minutes. 

She closed her eyes, preparing herself for the memories that would come. She took a bracing breath and opened her eyes. She raised her head slowly when she thought she had control of herself. Her eyes widened, and her breath caught. The Normandy lay in ruins. She didn’t remember the ship, but seeing it like this made her want to cry. Her heart felt like it was breaking as she examined the wreckage. 

She walked slowly and voices from the past whispered to her. So many voice and faces, but no names to identify them. Strangers - all of them were strangers; but they were strangers that wrenched at her heart. She covered her ears, trying to block out the voices. It didn’t work; they only grew louder. 

The first tear trailed down her cheek as she walked up to one of the parts of the Normandy. Apparitions moved through the demolished interior and the voices were there louder than ever. 

_“Hey, Commander, do you think we’ll catch Saran on this planet?” a person asked when she stepped onto the CIC deck._

_“I highly doubt it. But there is a chance Liara is on this planet. She’s the daughter of the matriarch that is with Saren. He might just show up, but don’t count on it,” she warned._

_“Shepard,” a large krogan called as she stepped into another section of the ship._

_“What do you think?” she asked him._

_“Saren should be afraid,” the krogan stated with a chuckle._

The people faded out and the voices grew louder. She took a deep breath and pushed forward into the wreckage. She shook her head. She couldn’t do this. She walked out of that piece of wreckage, heading to a different location. 

She stopped and her mind screamed. 

_“You can’t be serious? You should never be allowed to drive,” Garrus spat, looking fearfully at the vehicle._

_“Shepard, listen to the turian. He’s actually making sense right now,” the krogan stated._

_“Get in the Mako or I’ll put you in there myself,” she snapped, her biotics flowing over her, enhancing her threat. She watched two sullen aliens board the Mako. She laughed and boarded, as well._

_~~~~~_

_“…never again…. You are never driving again!” Garrus snarled, his mandible dripping blood._

_“I’m backing him on this one,” a black haired man said. She knew him as Kaidan now._

_~~~~~~_

_“I thought we left the Mako on the ship? I knew the geth would find a new way to torture us. I bet they left it here just so you can kill us. Please, Tania, let me drive,” Garrus begged._

_“Hey, you have admit that I’m getting better at driving stick,” she grinned before winking. She laughed when she saw him blush and his mandibles flutter. She saw Kaidan sputter while hastily climbing into the vehicle._

_“I love you, but your driving sucks,” Garrus murmured with a chuckle._

Another image flashed, but blackness ate at it. Screams of fear and terror filled her mind. She couldn’t get rid of them. 

Samara knew something was very wrong. She realized that Garrus had already noticed. He left the shuttle first, running as fast as he could toward his wife. Samara followed close behind him. She looked up to see a Mako stuck in the snow. Shepard had been staring at it for several minutes. Now she was slowly collapsing to the ground while her husband clung desperately to her limp body. 

A gasp broke out when Garrus took off her helmet. Blood was trickling down from her nose and eyes. Samara didn’t have to be told that if Shepard’s memories weren’t stopped, they would kill her. She looked to Garrus for permission to interfere. “Do what you have to,” he ordered coldly. 

Samara moved quickly, linking her mind with Tania’s. She gasped at how many memories were being shown to her. There were so many visions, but it was the cries of pain and terror that ate at her. She sifted through Tania’s memories, finding the blockage that Mordin had mentioned. She lightly probed the block and hissed. Cerberus had used Tania’s own biotic energy to make it. Taking it out with brute force wouldn’t be advisable right now, but she swore that soon it would be gone. Right now, all she could do was weaken it. She focused her energy onto that block, forcing her own biotic energy into it. She was shocked at the strength of Tania’s own biotics; they scared her for a moment. She hadn’t met many with this amount of raw power. 

She forced herself to focus. She couldn’t be distracted by trivial things at the moment. Without another shot of energy, she left Shepard’s mind. The block was still there, but the pressure on her brain was gone. The memories were put to rest for now, at least until the block was gone. 

As soon as they boarded the ship, she would talk with Mordin. “Her memories and the voices are gone. She’s safe, but her energy is low. She’ll sleep for a bit. When we board the Normandy, I will need to see your memories of the Normandy. Yours, too, Thane, if you will allow it,” Samara asked, her head bowed. 

“If it helps her, then my memories of my time with her are free for viewing,” Thane answered automatically. 

Neither of them expected an answer from Garrus. His protective scent was strong on the air. His fringe had a blue tint to it. His instincts were ruling him and it was easy for the other two aliens to see. Neither of them spoke as he raced to the shuttle. They followed behind, trying to keep up with him. 

Thane wondered if it would be possible to return her memories. He was worried that they would override her mind. He had sworn to himself to help her in any way he could, but his main concern was now Garrus. Would Garrus be willing to allow him to work with Tania or would his instincts intervene? Thane hoped that wasn’t the case. Tania needed all the help she could get before entering the Omega IV relay.         


	15. Chapter 15

Mordin shook his head as he once again looked over his scans. It didn’t look good. He was glad Samara had weakened the block, but it wasn’t enough; not now. Shepard had retreated into her own mind. Her biotics were flaring out of control, so anything he now attempted would be useless. He couldn’t even get near her.   
“Any change?” Chakwas asked as she walked into the room. Shepard still lay on the bed as if asleep, but she wasn’t. Her brainwaves were off the charts and she hadn’t responded to any stimuli. They weren’t sure if her biotics were the cause of the brainwave readings or her actual thoughts.  
“No, no change,” Mordin muttered tiredly.   
“We have to allow Samara to finish what she started down on the planet,” Chakwas stated with certainty.   
“We need Garrus’ permission and no one has been able to talk with him. He’s feral at the moment and has locked himself in the Main Battery,” Mordin reminded her.   
“We have to do this or we will lose the commander,” Chakwas bit out, annoyance thick in her voice.   
~oooooooooo~  
Garrus paced the Main Battery, worry and fear eating at him. His place was at his mate’s side, but Mordin had told him to leave. It had taken all of his willpower not to kill the salarian. Since entering the Normandy, Shepard hadn’t come around; despite Samara’s best attempts to save her on the planet.   
It was odd. He couldn’t feel her. He never noticed it before, but his wife’s presence had always surrounded him. Now that she was so deep in her mind he felt empty; as though something important was taken away from him. The emptiness was so great he couldn’t think and his instincts rode him hard.   
He needed Tania; needed to be with her, see her, smell her and have her tell him that she was safe. He let out another growl, his fists hitting the console before him. This time EDI didn’t pop up. He was alone.   
With another snarl he stormed from the Main Battery and stalked to Mordin’s office. He didn’t bother waiting for a response. He stormed into the lab and stalked over to Tania. He barely noticed Mordin or Chakwas; he had eyes only for Tania. She looked as if she was sleeping, but he knew she wasn’t. She was lost.  
Mordin’s head snapped up when the doors opened. His eyes widened when he saw Garrus. There was no way he would tell the turian to leave again; it wouldn’t be safe. Garrus’ fringe was engorged; his mandibles were flared back from his face and his neck was weeping slightly. Mordin’s nose wrinkled when he smelled the warning scent rising from the distraught husband. The turian wasn’t feral, but he was very close to it. He was a turian searching for his mate.   
“What do we do now?” Chakwas asked. She knew that for the moment it would be impossible to get near Tania.   
“We work and have Samara come to the lab,” Mordin answered with a shrug.   
“Samara will be arriving shortly. I’ve already sent the request to her quarters, Professor Solis,” EDI announced.   
Mordin nodded his head, not bothering to answer. He was already doing many calculations and planning the next stages of the commander’s treatment.   
His eyes flicked to the door once more as it opened. Samara walked into the office with confidence until she spotted Garrus. He watched closely as a small smile creased her face. She moved over to the turian, placing a hand on his shoulder. Mordin’s eyes widened when Garrus calmed a bit and moved slightly so Samara could get closer.   
Mordin moved closer, taking a chance. He wasn’t sure what Garrus’ reaction to him would be. He let out a relieved breath when Garrus remained immobile.   
“I will need Mr. Krios in here for his memories of Shepard. At the moment Garrus won’t be able to provide what I am looking for. Would you be willing to help, Dr. Chakwas?” Samara asked calmly.   
“Yes. If it helps Tania, take whatever information you need,” Chakwas answered quickly.   
“Mr. Krios will be arriving momentarily,” EDI stated before blinking out.   
Mordin shook his head with a small smile. The AI had everything under control. She was taking over where they couldn’t. “Is there anyone else onboard this ship that knew Shepard before her death?” Samara asked.   
“I did,” Joker answered over the com.   
“Joker, are you listening in again?” Chakwas asked, preparing to scold him like the misbehaving child he was.   
“Damn right. I’ve been waiting for Shepard’s memories to return,” Joker stated. “Samara, if you need my memories of Shepard, I’m willing.”   
“If I need your memories you will be informed,” Samara answered, her head cocked to the side. She was surprised at how loyal Shepard’s crew was to their commander. They were offering something personal without hesitation. She looked down at the woman on the bed and wondered about her. She had never met Shepard before, but had heard much about her.   
She turned her attention to Garrus and was happy to see that he was beginning to relax. She hid her smile when she noticed that his neck was still weeping. A human and a turian truly mated. She would have never expected something like this.   
She walked over to Chakwas and stared deep into her eyes. Waiting until the human relaxed, she whispered words of old, “Embrace eternity.” Images of Shepard came to her, mostly of her time in the medbay. Emotions swamped her from the woman’s mind. She looked up to Shepard. She felt safe and at home now that she was under Shepard’s command again. She had a deep respect for the commander, and at times felt motherly toward her.   
She broke the link. She had received all the information she needed from Dr. Chakwas. She took a few minutes to process everything she’d learned. Most of it was medical, though there were some personal images. She kept the smile from her face when she thought of how confused the doctor was with regards to Garrus and Tania’s marriage and the subsequent recent developments.   
She opened her eyes and spotted Thane standing nearby, Joker at his side. She was surprised. From what she understood, the pilot rarely left the cockpit. She walked over to him and saw the look of determination in his eyes.   
Within moments she was in his mind. His loyalty to Shepard was strong. Images of teachers and mentors he’d had didn’t hold a candle to the amount of respect he had for Shepard. She was his bright light in dark times. He had all the faith in the world in her but… For a while his respect had been shaken when they’d been reunited. She saw the difference between this Shepard and the woman she’d been before her death. Joker had noticed everything and remembered; and it had shaken him more than he was willing to admit. Her breath held as she delved deeper, trying to find more information from this fountain. He had feelings for Shepard. They were not romantic, but Shepard was the first to look past his sarcasm and see the real Jeff Moreau. She understood him. She broke the link, allowing that wealth of knowledge of Shepard to process.   
Samara turned to the final person, though she wasn’t sure if he would be of any help. He didn’t have the emotions that the others had. He hadn’t been with her for long if the information she’d received was correct. She walked over to the drell, waiting for him to give her a sign of permission. When his head bowed, she entered his mind.  
Thane’s thoughts were like a movie. Every detail was there; his feelings with regards to the commander and his thoughts were all there for her to examine. She thought it would be images, but this drell had watched it all. She saw the way Garrus and Tania had been, not much different from what she’d witnessed for herself. She saw the loyalty in her crews’ eyes, and she could hear it in their voices as they spoke with her. Her eyes widened as she witnessed a krogan treat the commander with high respect. She hadn’t thought such a thing was possible for a human.   
She broke the link, having a great idea of what Shepard used to be like. “I am ready to enter her mind,” Samara announced. She glanced at Joker and could see distrust in his eyes as she neared Shepard. After being in his mind, she understood where the distrust came from and accepted it.   
She thought about asking Garrus to move away from her, but the look on his face while he touched his wife stopped her. She moved to Shepard’s other side and placed a hand on her head. She focused all the memories she had collected and entered Shepard’s mind.   
What she found she did not expect…  
Blackness, deeper than any void. Voices surrounded her with no images, so many that it was a cacophony. Her mind ached from hearing so many sounds at once. Then there were the screams of terror and fear; the smell of blood and death strong on the air. And yet Shepard wasn’t there.  
She delved deeper…  
Light at the edge of the darkness glowed bright like a beacon on a stormy night. She moved toward that light and peace, serenity, and calm enveloped her. Tania sat in the middle of it all, along with Garrus. She watched to see what had drawn Shepard to this particular place in her mind.   
Samara hesitated as she felt a protective presence guarding Shepard. She didn’t have to be told who it was. Even though he wasn’t here physically, he was here mentally. She could see his bond to her glowing. It was the light that surrounded Tania.   
She moved toward that light, feeling its warmth surrounding her. Below the peace she could detect a clear warning. She would have to be very careful of her next steps. “Tania, why are you here?” she asked calmly.   
“The darkness, it holds too much. So many things that it hurts when I try to cross it,” she answered quietly.  
Samara looked over her shoulder at the darkness. Shepard’s memories were free, but there were too many for Shepard to be safe. They would override her mind and damage it permanently. She turned back to the commander, planning the best way to proceed. Her memories were free, but they were too much for Shepard to handle and Samara couldn’t replace the block…  
Her eyes widened… The block - it was gone! she thought in shock. Though it was a step in the right direction, its quick departure could prove damaging to Tania. She faced the memories and made up her mind. This had to be done or Shepard would never be able to make it out of her mind. She walked into those memories, seeing them for what they were. Seeing all Shepard had endured over the years, both good and bad.   
Two people scowled at her as she was escorted off the ship by Alliance soldiers. Hurt and heartbreak rode her hard as the young girl kept glancing over her shoulder.   
The images sped forward in time and Samara watched the years of separation between her and her parents. She had tried to visit them a few times, but they turned her away.   
Shepard stood in a small room on a ship. A body lay at her feet. Rage and grief tore at her. The sister she never knew lay dead at her feet. Strong arms held her as her biotics were given free reign. She knew true safety and security in those arms.   
Garrus. It could only have been Garrus, Samara thought as she placed a light block on that memory. She was going to go through the memories and place a light block on the ones that Shepard didn’t need right away. With the light blocks in place the memories would return at a more reasonable pace. Samara hoped this would give her enough time to prepare the commander for what was to come.  
She moved to the next set of memories and Garrus was the leading player. She knew this one needed to be free. Samara didn’t bother looking at that memory. There was no need. She moved to the next and smiled as the darkness surrounding her slowly dissipated.   
She finally found the source of the screams. Chaos surrounded her and Shepard as she fought off waves of batarians. Samara knew this planet – Elysium. Her eyes widened. She knew this fight. It was one many remembered and the battle that had made Shepard a hero. Samara watched her issue orders in a cool, calm manner; despite the dangers that threatened to destroy her. Samara watched entranced as Shepard held off the slavers. It was a memory she would never forget, even though it wasn’t her own.   
She placed a light block on this one, as well. Shepard could see it later. One by one she placed blocks on the memories that Shepard didn’t need right away. It didn’t mean she would never have them, but they would no longer be overwhelming to her system. The memories would return and probably quicker than any of them would wish, so she and Thane would have to work fast to teach Shepard how to endure this trial. Once the memories were free, she could become trapped in them if she allowed them to override her.   
As she carefully picked her way through Shepard’s memories, keeping some and blocking others, the darkness began ebbing away. Shepard moved toward her slowly. “This is the way it was when I died with Garrus surrounding me. Even when I was gone and had taken my final breath, he was there with me. He was the first person in my life who never abandoned me. Joker and Chakwas are next,” Shepard murmured with a smile.   
“How do you know he was with you while you were dead?” Samara asked, shocked once again.   
“It was in my memories; ones that you didn’t look at,” Shepard answered with a peaceful look. “It’s time to leave. Garrus is worried.”  
~oooooooooooooo~  
Samara stepped back from Shepard. She looked at Garrus with newfound respect after being in Tania’s memories. “She’ll be fine,” Samara murmured to the turian, placing a comforting hand on his arm. She noticed his shock that she was touching him; but after everything she’d seen, she knew he wouldn’t be angry.   
“Why isn’t she awake yet?” Garrus asked worriedly.   
“Who says I’m not?” Tania asked with a smile at her mate. “You of all people should know if I’m awake.”   
Garrus leaned forward, ignored everyone in the room and placed his forehead against hers. He murmured words to her that only she could hear. Samara smiled and motioned for everyone to leave. She was surprised that they were listening to her and leaving without question; particularly Mordin and Chakwas.   
“I missed you, wife,” Garrus murmured. “How much do you remember?”  
“A lot, but some of it is fuzzy,” Tania answered. “So when can I get out of here?”  
“Not until Mordin says so,” Garrus replied and chuckled as she glowered at him.   
“Then you better tell that salarian to get back in here,” Tania grumbled. She smiled as Garrus left to do just that. It was odd having memories. She remembered her time with Garrus, she remembered her talks with Joker and how she used to hide out in the cockpit with him. She remembered Liara and Tali… She flinched when she thought of Tali. She had been so cruel to the quarian. It hurt to even think about it.   
Her mind turned to Kaidan. Having him turn his back on her hurt more now than it had at the time. It felt as if someone had just punched her in the gut. She closed her eyes and Valern’s image appeared in her mind. Once again she flinched. She once had feelings for that turian but now…now he’d hurt her more than any of the others. He had tried taking her away from Garrus and that was a betrayal of the most intimate kind.   
Her mind turned to Pallin and she flinched. She hoped he could forgive her for what she’d done. She had basically forced herself on him and that was unforgivable. It sickened her to remember how she had acted, so cold and cruel. It hurt that she had turned on the people closest to her. She’d told Joker to remember that the old Shepard was dead. She really needed to talk with him. She needed to set many things right.   
She glanced up when the doors opened once more. Her eyes widened when Garrus, Samara, Mordin and Thane walked in. She looked at them nervously. She knew from experience that confrontations with a group always ended badly. She didn’t bother asking what they wanted. She would wait for them to make the first move. It didn’t take long and Samara was the first to speak.   
“Shepard, I’ve gone through your memories. I placed light blocks on some of them that may come undone at any time. Thane has offered his services to help you work through those memories so you don’t lose yourself in them once more,” Samara explained quietly.   
“Is that why some of my memories are foggy?” Shepard asked quizzically.   
“Yes, though you shouldn’t even be aware of them yet,” Samara answered, giving her a perplexed look.   
“Tania, you should work with Samara on your biotics since they are more powerful than before,” Garrus told her with a pointed look.   
“When is all this supposed to happen?” Shepard asked, giving them an annoyed look.   
“Not until your brain is healed. Have had enough trauma for now,” Mordin stated brusquely.   
Tania didn’t say a word; she knew it would be useless. Once the doctor had his mind set on something there was no stopping him. And she didn’t want to fight with him. He would use logic and she would lose in the end. It was all terribly depressing.   
“Fine, but we need to work on those memories soon. If I am already starting to see them even though they are fogged, we don’t know how long we have,” Shepard said with a smug smile.   
“Very true. Should start training with Thane tomorrow,” Mordin answered with a nod. “Garrus, you should escort Tania to her room and make sure she rests.”   
Garrus grinned, already having plans for his wife. He needed to feel her close. He had to hold her and surround himself with her scent. He took her hand and led her out of Mordin’s office. He was about to lead her to the elevator, but she wouldn’t budge. He grinned as he saw her eyes latch onto the food being served. He should have guessed that she would be hungry.   
Without a word he walked over to Gardener and grabbed Tania a plate of food. With his hands full he hoped his wife didn’t have any other places she wanted to visit. He sighed in relief when she followed him to the elevator. “How’s your head doing?”   
“Not as fogged. It’s the first time that my memories don’t hurt,” Tania murmured. “I remembered our time aboard the Normandy. I remembered how Wrex used to argue with you constantly. I remembered Tali’s timidity. God, Garrus, I was so cruel to her when I met her shortly after my resurrection. I was so cold and cruel,” Shepard whispered, loathing what she did.   
“Hey, we all knew it wasn’t you. We all know what the real Shepard was like. I knew just by looking at you when I first talked with you that you weren’t the same. Joker knew it, too. Trust me, Tali will know the difference. She won’t hold it against you when she hears what has happened,” Garrus told her firmly.   
“I hope so. She was a good friend and I would hate to lose that,” Shepard answered with a depressed sigh. She had messed up so badly. Now she had a lot of things to fix. That pissed her off, but it also gave her hope that things would be better from this moment forward.   
~oooooooooooooo~  
Thane sat in Life Support, waiting for Tania and Garrus to arrive. He was not surprised that they were running late. He was about to start cleaning his guns just to pass the time when his doors opened without warning. He guessed that would be something he would need to get used to - the lack of privacy.   
“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Krios?” Garrus asked.   
“If it helps Tania, then I will do my best,” Thane answered with a slight smile.   
“Then I’ll leave the two of you alone so you can help her,” Garrus murmured before turning back to the door. He smirked as he caught the surprised look on the drell’s face. “I trust you. I know you won’t overstep your bounds with her.”   
Thane rose to his feet and gave a half bow before turning to Tania. “Have any memories been hard to force back?” he asked as he motioned her to take a seat.   
“No, not yet,” she answered somewhat nervously. She wasn’t sure what to expect or what he expected from her.   
Thane nodded and withheld a smirk. He could feel her nervousness and wondered about it. He had noticed that Tania had changed somewhat. It wasn’t anything too dramatic, but she wasn’t as good as she used to be at hiding her emotions. “First I think we should start with meditation,” Thane murmured.   
“OK, but I have never meditated in my life. What do I have to do?” she asked, pacing the room. She hadn’t taken Thane’s offer of a seat.   
“First you need to sit down, either on the chair or the floor. Next, you have to relax and pacing won’t help that,” Thane answered with a shake of his head.   
“Pacing helps me relax,” she snapped, annoyed at her own discomfort.  
“Shepard, if you don’t want these memories overriding you when they break free then you will have to do as I say,” Thane told her firmly.   
Tania stopped and glared at him. “Fine,” she muttered sullenly as she slumped into the chair.   
Thane watched her with amusement. She reminded him of a chastised child at the moment. He sat back in his chair and watched her, trying to read her expressions. Unfortunately, there were too many of them to decipher properly.   
“What?” Shepard asked, scowling.   
“I am not sure how to do this with a human. I know this needs to be done, but humans are impatient and don’t take orders kindly,” Thane murmured with a pointed look at her.   
Shepard narrowed her eyes and started to snap at him, and then slowly blew out a breath. She knew he was right. She wasn’t acting as she should. “What do you need me to do?” she asked quietly as she sat up straighter.   
“In order to meditate, you need to be relaxed. Once this is done, I will teach you how to clear your mind,” Thane answered.   
“Relaxing isn’t something that comes easily to me,” Tania grumbled in frustration.  
Thane sighed. He didn’t know how to do this. He knew then that he needed to regain Shepard’s trust if he ever hoped to help her. He knew she trusted him somewhat, but not enough to let her guard down. He decided to leave the actually attempts at meditation for later. Instead he would explain everything and talk with her. He hoped when they were through she would be willing to let him in.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Joker sat in the cockpit, a grin on his face. They had the old Shepard back. He had been waiting a long time for this day to arrive. He wondered how things on the ship would change now that she was back. There was one disturbing fact for him, however. Even though she’d her memory back for a few weeks she still hadn’t visited him. It hurt, but he was positive that she would show sooner or later. 

His thoughts of Shepard were interrupted by the woman, herself. “Think too much harder, Joker, and I’ll start seeing smoke,” she joked. 

“How’s the head doing?” he asked with a serious look. This was one subject that he couldn’t joke around about. He had been too worried about her to be able to laugh. 

She searched his face and sighed. Joker’s eyes widened as his tension grew. “You know I really hate apologizing, but if anyone on this ship deserves it, you do. I am so sorry that I treated you the way that I did. You didn’t deserve it and I appreciate the fact that you didn’t leave me high and dry,” she murmured with uncertain eyes. 

“There is a way you can make it up to me…” Joker said with a shit eating grin that left Tania shifting uneasily. She raised a brow, waiting for him to continue. “A steak dinner,” he chortled, his grin growing bigger. 

“Wow. I’m a commander and I haven’t had a steak dinner in the longest time,” she murmured with an amused shake of the head. 

Joker chuckled. He decided now was the best time to ask the questions that have been plaguing him. “Have all of your memories returned?” 

“Not fully. They are there, but some of them are still foggy. Samara did that on purpose to protect me. Strangely, they are returning quicker than anyone expected,” she murmured.                            

Joker looked at her anxiously for a moment, but he felt relief more than anything else. This was Shepard - the Shepard he knew and respected. He had missed this woman. He smirked when he thought about going up against the Collectors and almost felt sorry for them now. He knew without a doubt that Shepard would get them through that fight without losing too many people. He silently hoped that everyone would return, but with a mission this dangerous it was nearly too much to ask. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane sat back in his chair with a slight smile as he reflected on the progress of his lessons with the Commander.  It had taken a bit, but he finally got Tania to relax around him. Well, relax enough so that she wasn’t pacing or sitting there fidgeting while they meditated. Garrus had been with them for a few of them, but he’d left them alone for the last session; choosing to calibrate the cannons . 

He wondered if these sessions were actually helping her. He would like to say they were, but Shepard was unlike anyone he’d met before. He wasn’t sure if the act of deciphering her memories would be completely successful or not. 

He glanced up in surprise when his door opened. He quickly recovered, not wanting anyone to know that they’d caught him off guard. “Garrus, is there a problem?” he asked calmly. 

“Just letting you know that Tania won’t be here for the next session. She has a few missions to complete and I’m cancelling all her appointments so she’ll rest,” Garrus explained as he took a seat with the drell. 

“Has there been any change?” Thane asked. He was still unsure if these exercises were helping. 

“Yes. There have been quite a few changes, actually. She remembers a lot more, even things that Samara blocked off to protect her. Every night she does the meditations you taught her, especially when her memories become too much for her,” Garrus murmured with a grin when he saw the surprised look on Thane’s face. He knew that Thane thought he wasn’t making any progress, but he was very wrong. His wife would be a mess if she didn’t do the meditations the drell had shown her. 

“I’m glad they are helping her,” Thane murmured, still surprised that the few times he had been able to show her any form of meditation were providing her with aid. What was even more surprising for him was that Tania was using the meditation outside of his training sessions. He honestly thought that she wouldn’t bother. He was very pleased to be wrong. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Tania looked over the missions, matching each one with charts she could find of the planet on which they were located. She was tired of being unprepared and this time she wanted to be ready for anything; no matter how unexpected. She was saving the IFF for the final mission. Currently, her task list consisted of helping Garrus track down Sidonis, escorting Mordin and Grunt to Tuchanka, and recruiting her final crew member - Tali. The last was her priority; she needed to see the quarian and apologize for how she had treated her. She worried about how Tali would react, but in the end it didn’t matter. This needed to be done. 

“EDI, where is Garrus now?” Tania asked nervously. She was supposed to be in bed resting, according to her husband. 

“Garrus is still talking with Thane. I’ll notify you when he is returning to the loft as promised, Shepard,” EDI stated. Tania sighed in relief. She could just imagine what Garrus would say if he knew she’d ignored his directive to get some rest. 

She smirked, leaning back in her chair. She was pretty sure that she’d covered everything and there would be no surprises. “Shepard, Garrus is heading up to the loft,” EDI announced. 

Tania raced to the bed, threw herself onto it and quickly covered herself. She closed her eyes, but she knew that wouldn’t fool Garrus. So instead she left her eyes open and watched him walk in. 

Garrus walked into the room and smirked. Tania’s computer was still on, showing star charts on one screen and their current list of missions on the other. He wasn’t surprised in the least. The only way to stop Tania from working was to tie her down, and he wasn’t even positive if that would work. 

“Have a good rest?” he asked with a grin. He watched her squirm. He knew she wouldn’t lie, but she would evade. 

“Maybe,” Tania answered with a nervous grin. She knew something was up by the look on Garrus’ face. 

Garrus nodded slowly and walked over to the bed. He remained standing. He knew as soon as he sat down he would lose the upper hand. “I see….” he murmured, fixing her with a direct stare. “What did you learn about Mordin’s mission?” 

Tania groaned and bowed her head. “I left the computer on, didn’t I?” she grumbled. 

“Yes,” Garrus stated with a stern stare. “So how much did you actually rest?” 

“Uh… none,” she murmured with lowered eyes. She couldn’t meet his frustrated gaze without feeling guilty. 

“Tania…” Garrus growled, glaring at his wife. 

“Garrus, I can’t stay in bed and rest!” she exclaimed, scowling at him. 

“Do you want more damage to your brain?” he asked in a harsh voice that made her flinch. “Remember, Mordin said it would take some time for your brain to fully heal.” 

“I remember, but that doesn’t mean I will stay in bed and do nothing,” she growled, glaring at Garrus. 

“Yes, you will, if I have to tie you down myself,” Garrus hissed his frustrations. He’d just gotten his wife back, and now she was doing this. He would say he couldn’t believe it, but he could. It was just like her. 

“Tie me down, eh? Kinky, but it’s not going to happen. There is too much to prepare before going through the Omega-4 Relay. I’m way behind as it is because of the memory loss!” she snapped. 

Garrus hesitated, wondering why her tone had changed when he mentioned tying her down. If he wasn’t mistaken she was using her inviting tone, but it made no sense to him. Why would she invite him to tie her down? He couldn’t see anything beneficial from it, other than her being…. His eyes widened and a grin started growing as ideas came to him. 

Tania tied down and helpless… His plates shifted more. 

Tania moaning beneath him as he tasted every inch of her, not able to do anything…. His plates shifted a _lot_ more. 

Tania begging… unable to move… him in a dominant position…. His plates fully shifted, his neck wept and his fringe engorged. 

_He needed rope!_ Without another word he left the room and headed straight for Mordin’s.

Tania lay there stunned as she watched her husband. She saw his eyes glaze over as she lectured him. She thought he was ignoring her until she saw his neck weeping and his fringe growing thicker. She thought about asking what was he thinking of, but when his scent came to her she didn’t need to be told. It was the first time she had smelled what he called his ‘marking scent’ so strongly. 

Her mouth dropped open as he turned around and walked out. She watched as he marched to the elevator without looking back. Though she didn’t know what his plans were, she noticed that his gait was off; and she was nearly certain that she knew the cause. She couldn’t figure out what had her husband so worked up, but she couldn’t wait to find out. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Garrus walked into Mordin’s office and spotted the salarian reading something off of his computer. “Garrus, something you need?” Mordin asked without looking up. He didn’t need to see Garrus to know he was there; his territorial scent was strong and filled the room. 

“Rope!” Garrus growled and started searching through drawers, tables, cabinets.

Mordin’s eyes widened when Garrus started going through his things. His first reaction was to berate the turian, but he knew it would be futile at the moment. He walked over to the turian and was about to lead him away from his things, but backed off when Garrus growled. With a shake of his head he went to the one of the beds and grabbed the straps from it. He debated asking what the turian wanted, but thought better of it. He knew Tania could handle Garrus, even in this mood. 

“Here!” Mordin snapped, using the harshest tone he had to get through to the turian. Relief swept through him as Garrus snatched the straps from him. He followed Garrus to the door and asked the question that was concerning him. He needed to know in case the turian was planning anything dangerous.

“What are the straps for?” Mordin asked the territorial turian. 

“Tania!” Garrus stated as he stormed into the elevator. He didn’t notice the silence that fell over the CIC deck or the way the crew stared at him. 

Mordin’s brow ridge rose and he grinned. He glanced around CIC and noticed many other grins. He knew for a fact Garrus was going to be ribbed for this mercilessly from the ground crew. A moment later, he had an idea. He decided to take a chance on some experimentation and now was the perfect opportunity. “EDI, monitor Garrus and Tania’s hormone levels for the next few hours. Notify me if there is a difference between what you monitored and the information I have already compiled,” Mordin stated as he walked back over to his computer. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Tania’s eyes widened as she watched Garrus place straps on the bed. She wasn’t sure what he was up to, but her curiosity was piqued. She didn’t say a word until he was finished. Garrus was close to losing control at the moment and that hadn’t happened in a long time. 

She smirked as he stood up when he finished. Now she would find out what he had planned. She was privately hoping he would allow her to tie him up. She squeaked when he grabbed one of her legs and placed them in the bindings. It surprised her, but also got her blood pumping. She knew she had nothing to fear. No matter how excited Garrus was, he would stop if she asked. She was his mate, and he wouldn’t do anything to harm or upset her. 

Her eyes widened more as each of her limbs were tied down. Now she was at his mercy and she could see that same thought in his eyes. If it had been an old lover, she would have killed them for this behavior; but this was Garrus and she was more than ready for anything he had to offer. 

Garrus stood and met his mate’s eyes. His only thought was ‘have to have’. Placing the straps had been nearly impossible; his mind wasn’t working well enough for such detailed work. 

His neck wept more as she met his gaze, her look challenging even when tied. Demanding him to do his best, or worst. His buddy throbbed almost painfully as the look registered. He needed her now!

Without finesse he climbed on top of his mate, needing her scent and her body close to his own. He needed to hear her moans and screams; he needed to smell her arousal, to taste it. His face automatically went to her neck, his tongue licking along her soft skin. He tasted her arousal for him, the aroma of it as strong as his own marking scent. He growled in appreciation as he nipped at her skin. 

His hands glided over her body, but his mind protested. Something was stopping him from feeling her skin. It took him a few minutes to realize that she was still dressed. With a snarl he sliced through the offending material until her skin lay bare to him. He paused a moment when he noticed that she had been injured by his claws. 

He licked each mark, soothing the area, leaving behind his saliva. He stopped and stared at the excess fluid he’d left behind. A deep rumbling purr left him as he nipped his way up Tania’s quivering body. Slowly he slipped inside her, unable to wait any longer. 

Garrus tried to move gently, but it was too much for him. He took his mate, giving free reign to his primal instincts. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

“Dr. Mordin, Garrus’ hormonal levels are fifty percent higher than anything you have on record. Commander Shepard’s hormonal levels match his. Heart rates are in-sync. Scans show Garrus’ territorial marking is the strongest that you have ever recorded,” EDI stated, waiting for more orders. 

Mordin stood there, stunned. He hadn’t been expecting this, though he shouldn’t have been surprised. He would wait a week and then run a full scan of Shepard’s body to see if he and Dr. Chakwas had been correct in their interpretation of the earlier data. He worried that it might be, and if that was true he wasn’t sure what to do about it. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Garrus lay beside his mate, still locked with her. Tania’s head rested on his chest as she slowly relaxed after the most intense mating she had ever experienced. Garrus had been aggressive the first time they were together and when they’d been reunited, but neither of those times could come close to this. He had literally lost his mind. 

Garrus could smell the blood where he had bitten too deep and where his claws had dug into her skin. He was surprised to realize that he could smell his own blood, as well. She’d bit him harder than ever before on his neck and his side, marking him in a turian’s most personal places. It seemed as if she had answered his instincts, giving him what he needed. 

He purred as she shifted tiredly. His arms tightened around her and he nuzzled her hair, trying to sooth her. He didn’t want her to be injured while they were locked together. He knew he would be unable to separate from her, even if he desired it. 

He scented the air hesitantly just to make sure she wasn’t in heat or in the state that she called ‘ovulating’. He didn’t think she was; his reactions during such times were almost immediate. The crew was now used to his behavior during certain times of a month, even if they didn’t realize the cause. Tania didn’t help much; she drove him insane and enjoyed it. He would get his revenge for the torture when he finally got her alone; whether in their room or some darkened corner, away from prying eyes. 

“Is everything alright?” Tania asked when she realized that she was still connected to Garrus. 

“Yeah,” Garrus said with a choked voice. He moved her on top of him, where they would both be more comfortable.

Tania lightly stroked the side of his face and smiled gently as he purred. She noticed that the lock wasn’t lessening like it usually did. She thought about questioning it, but at the moment she didn’t really care. She allowed herself to drift off to sleep, knowing she’d accomplished everything she needed to do for her upcoming missions. She felt her husband relax beneath her, though they remained locked and allowed sleep to claim her. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Pallin set the datapad on his desk and smiled. It was time. He had enough supporters and Sparatus’ supporters were now turning to him. This was the perfect time to make a move, but he still needed to plan this very carefully. His first step was to call Shepard to the Citadel. 

They would need an infiltrator; someone able to enter a dwelling unseen. Finding that will be hard, he knew. He thought about the drell that Sparatus had used, but he didn’t know him personally and didn’t know how to track him down. So that idea was a no-go. He would have to see if Shepard had met someone in her travels. 

Then there was Garrus. He wasn’t sure what to do about him. He knew Garrus wanted blood and didn’t blame him, but this was a delicate situation and required the type of subtlety that he didn’t think the young turian had. 

The final problem was Tania’s lack of memory. They would need her memories as she knew Sparatus better than anyone else. 

There was a lot to do in a short time. He hoped they could pull this off. He sent a message to Shepard, calling her back to the Citadel. He hoped that she would be able to come right away.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Tania sat at her desk with a grim smile on her face as she stared at the message on her view screen. Pallin needed to meet with her and Garrus as soon as possible. The message stated that they had business to conclude and she knew exactly what business he spoke of. She couldn’t wait to tell Garrus. 

It was a moment she had been both dreading and hoping for. It was the difficulty of the mission that caused the dread. Sparatus was a Councilor, and he wouldn’t be easy to kill. 

She knew it would be best if she and Garrus kept this particular mission to themselves, but her crew was starting to know her well. She hoped that none of them would realize what was happening. 

“Joker, set a course for the Citadel,” she ordered firmly. 

“Do I announce shore leave?” Joker asked and she could hear the hope in his voice. 

“No, not this time,” she answered. She glanced over her shoulder a few minutes later when the door opened. She wasn’t surprised to see Garrus, especially once he’d heard her orders. 

“Is it time?” Garrus asked and Tania had to smile. She could hear the growl in his voice and see the anticipation in his eyes. 

“Pallin wants to see us,” she told him. She watched as he flexed his hands, his claws not covered by the gloves he normally wore. 

“Good,” Garrus grinned. This would be a day he would never forget. The day he was finally given permission to get rid of his nemesis. The day Sparatus tried taking Tania from him was the day the turian had signed his death warrant. Garrus planned on being the executioner. He looked to his wife and could see that she was bothered by something. For a brief moment he thought it might be because Sparatus was going to be killed, but he quickly rejected that idea. He knew his wife and she’d agreed that the Councilor had to die. 

“Tania, what is it?” Garrus asked, looking at her expectantly. 

“Just trying to figure out how to kill a Councilor without being caught,” she answered with a pointed look. It was that thought that stopped him. If they got caught they would end up in jail or dead. If that happened, who would save humanity from the Collectors?

“Pallin must have an idea,” Garrus murmured, hope filling his voice. He couldn’t help but worry that it wouldn’t be good enough. He knew they would need skills to get to Sparatus that neither of them had. “Or we could hire Thane,” Garrus said thoughtfully. 

“Not a chance in hell! The fewer people involved, the better,” Tania snapped coldly. 

Garrus didn’t say a word. He knew she was right. He just hoped that he would get his revenge. After the things Sparatus did to Tania, he needed his revenge. 


	17. Chapter 17

Tania stared around a home that she only vaguely remembered. The memories were still foggy, but they were there; not ready to come to the surface yet. She knew that she had once lived on the Citadel, in an apartment that had been rebuilt. This was the first time since her resurrection, however, that she had visited it. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Her emotions were so conflicted.   
She glanced back at Garrus when he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are we going in?” he asked softly. He saw the turmoil in her eyes. He knew this was hard on her and planned on being with her every step of the way.   
“Yeah…” she answered, trailing off and giving him a fearful look. He was the only one she could show these emotions to. He knew her, understood her and accepted her. Through her memory loss he had stayed by her side, helping her even when she tried shoving him away.   
“Come on,” Garrus murmured, taking her hand into his. “I promise it won’t bite.”   
Tania chuckled and started walking toward the door. “Why did Pallin want to meet here?” she muttered.  
“Your place would be the safest to have this discussion,” Garrus explained as they stepped through the door.   
“Yeah, but didn’t Sparatus have something to do with the reconstruction?” she asked pointedly.   
“Yeah, but after that Kaidan and I stayed here before I left for Omega,” Garrus told her. He saw her shoulders tense and waited for the barrage of questions to begin. He was mildly surprised when none came.   
Tania stood in the center of the living room. She had flashes of another turian curled up with her on a nearby sofa. She remembered meeting that turian when she met Pallin after her resurrection. Slowly she walked to the kitchen and images of her time with Garrus came to mind. She smiled softly. They were intimate images of when they lived here just before she was sent out after the geth.   
“How long did we stay here?” Tania asked him.   
“A week. Once it was finished being rebuilt we stayed here and then you were sent off,” Garrus answered as he moved up behind her.   
She moved from the kitchen further into the house. Her eyes widened and a grin lit her face as she stood in the bedroom. She turned to Garrus with a raised eyebrow. “No, we don’t have time for what you’re thinking,” Garrus grumbled before backing away from his devious wife. He knew if he stayed they would end up in bed for the rest of the day.   
Garrus perked up when he heard the alert at the door. He had his escape. Now he just needed to make good of it before Tania pounced.   
Tania watched him nearly run out of the room. “Pity, we could have had so much fun,” she purred to his retreating back. “Especially with these ties.” She grinned as she saw him stop and stiffen. She waited for him to turn back, but he didn’t.   
“That’s not playing fair,” Garrus hissed, narrowing his eyes in warning at his wife. With a shake of his head at his chuckling wife, he went to greet their guest.   
Tania followed him to the door, a grin still on her face. She was finally relaxing in this strange place. She knew it wouldn’t last, though, especially with what Pallin had to discuss. She took a seat on the couch while Garrus took care of Pallin.   
She watched Pallin walk in and her eyes widened as memories quickly rushed over her. Her gaze flicked to Garrus and then back to Pallin. She had been with him before. She remembered it vividly, like it happened days ago; not years ago. She could see the question in Garrus’ eyes and wasn’t about to respond. She couldn’t. She was fairly sure that Garrus would kill him.   
“Tania, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Pallin asked with a concerned look.   
Garrus hesitated when he saw the look on her face. He knew she’d just remembered something, but he wondered about the details. He knew he wasn’t the only memory here; there was Pallin, Chellick, Nihlus and a few humans. He watched as his wife averted her eyes and shook her head. That told him everything that she couldn’t say. His first thought was to take Pallin outside and make sure he knew that Tania was his mate, but his reasonable side told him that the executor wouldn’t need reminding.   
“Nothing important,” Tania murmured. “Now what was it that you wanted to discuss?”  
“Sparatus. It’s time,” Pallin answered succinctly.  
“I take it you have a plan?” Garrus asked, taking a seat next to his wife.   
“Yes, but we will need to hire someone. Unless you still have that assassin in your employ…” Pallin replied.   
“We do, but I prefer not to involve others,” Tania stated, her eyes narrowed in warning as she glared at Pallin.   
“If you want Sparatus, we have no choice but to involve others. If you don’t wish to, then we have nothing to discuss and Garrus doesn’t get his vengeance,” Pallin snapped coolly.   
“Tania, we can trust Thane,” Garrus told her softly.   
“I know we can trust him. That was never in doubt. But should we even involve him in this? If he’s caught it could have dire consequences for him,” she said harshly.  
“If he is as good as his reputation, he won’t be caught,” Pallin stated.   
“He’s not killing Sparatus,” Garrus growled in warning. The last thing he wanted was for someone to take his revenge away from him.   
“He may have to, unless you can come up with another plan,” Pallin stated coldly.   
Tania sat on the couch quietly. She knew Sparatus needed to die. Garrus would never rest until the deed was done and she wasn’t safe while he still lived. He had hired Thane to kill them. She was just lucky that the drell turned down the assassination.  
She glanced at Garrus and saw his anger. She didn’t know what to do. Pallin said to have Thane kill Sparatus, but Garrus…. This was something he needed to do. The turian had put his mate in danger and she didn’t know a turian who would allow another take a kill from him. “No, its Garrus’ kill,” she stated with a clear warning in her eyes as she gazed at Pallin. “Tell me, Verani, would you want someone else to take the kill if it had been your mate?”   
She knew she made her point when Pallin lowered his eyes. “Then I don’t know how to do this. Sparatus is the Turian Councilor. I have enough supporters now to take his seat, but I can’t be tied to this,” Pallin muttered with a shake of his head.   
“Garrus, we need Thane here,” she told her mate. A plan was forming in her mind, but she needed to know if they could depend on Thane. She was certain that he would help, but she didn’t want the drell to feel like he was obligated to agree to their plan. If he declined, she wasn’t sure what they would do. Kasumi wouldn’t be able to do what they wanted. She was good at sneaking, but Kasumi was soft hearted. She would never understand.   
“Are you sure, Tania?” Garrus asked quietly as he watched his mate. He could see a plan forming in her eyes. From past experience, he knew that she would leave nothing to chance. He couldn’t wait to find out what the details.   
He headed to the kitchen to contact Thane, leaving Tania to her planning. He wasn’t sure what to tell the drell so he simply said that Tania wanted him. He knew Thane would come as soon as he could. He also knew the drell respected Tania enough to go along with any of her plans.   
Garrus moved back into the living room. Pallin was watching Tania with a wary expression. He glanced at her and saw the lethal smile that curved her lips. Her planning was finished. Now it was time to set it in motion. He grinned.   
“So are you going to tell me what you have planned?” Garrus asked with an amused expression.   
“Pallin, can you do something with the security feed in Sparatus’ apartment?” she asked. It didn’t really matter. Kasumi or EDI could handle it if he couldn’t.   
“Commander, if Pallin can’t, I can,” EDI announced. Tania brow rose when she heard the AI’s voice. She wondered how long she had been listening.   
“EDI, this is a private conversation,” Tania bit out with a scowl.   
“Joker wanted me to watch for the moment when you would move against the Councilor,” EDI stated. Tania closed her eyes and took a deep breath. So it wasn’t a secret. Sparatus would know their plans if someone had hacked their communications. They would have to move quickly.  
“Joker, you have a lot of explaining….” Tania threatened, ignoring her chuckling husband and the worried turian that sat across from her.   
“Hey! I want that turian dead just as much as you do,” Joker stated.   
“You do realize that anyone can be listening into this conversation?” Tania asked angrily.   
“Ha! EDI has this channel so secure that even Tali and Kasumi couldn’t crack it,” Joker said and she heard the smugness in his voice. Tali - now there was someone who was good with electronics. She wished she was here, but if Joker said neither of those two could hack it then she knew things were safe.   
“Fine,” she sighed.   
“EDI also has a little present for you. She has the schematics for the Council’s chambers and Sparatus’ apartment,” Joker gloated.   
Tania didn’t know what to say. She was speechless. Garrus watched her and could see that this meant a lot to her. He smiled as a huge realization struck his wife. Through all that had happened between them, Joker still had her back. She believed that she had lost everyone, but nothing could be further from the truth.   
Garrus was about to say something, but the chime on the door stopped him. He opened the door and grinned when he saw Thane standing there; dressed in his usual leathers with a bag slung over his shoulder. Garrus raised a brow ridge, not sure what to make of it.   
“Siha, you wished to see me?” Thane asked with a bow.   
Garrus rolled his eyes and took a seat beside his wife once more. He wasn’t afraid of Thane trying to steal his wife, and he’d accepted that they were good friends. It was a surprising development given how she had so mistrusted the drell. Now she spent a lot of her time with him, learning how to meditate to keep her memories from driving her insane. At first jealously had raised its ugly head and he had barged into one of their meetings. Thane had been sitting in his chair and Tania had been on the floor with her legs crossed. Thane was talking her through the process. He had stopped and listened. When he heard Tania’s complaints he knew then that nothing was going on.   
“Yes. We are….” She didn’t get to finish. Thane finished for her.   
“You are going after the Turian Councilor and wish my aid,” Thane murmured. He had no problems helping her. Not after learning of the Councilor’s actions and how he had used him against the couple. This was one contract he would enjoy doing for free.   
“Yes, but I don’t want you accepting out of obligation. If you get caught you could get into a lot of trouble,” Tania reminded him.   
“Siha, I’ll let that slide. I don’t get caught. And I am not doing this out of obligation. I have my own score to settle,” Thane answered with a lethal grin.   
“Thank you,” Tania whispered with a relieved smile. “Now we plan. But, Thane, Garrus gets the killing blow.”   
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Thane answered with a grin.   
Tania glanced between Thane and Pallin. She just realized that they had never met and shook her head at herself for her rudeness. “Pallin, this is Thane Krios. Thane, this is Executor Pallin. He will become the new Councilor when Sparatus is no longer with us.”   
Thane nodded to the other turian.   
Garrus stared at Tania. “Ok, everyone is here. Now what is this plan?” he muttered impatiently.   
Tania turned to him and grinned….  
~ooooooooooo~  
Thane had to shake his head and stop. He was in the ducts looking down at the room, but it was hard to hide his amusement. He had been pleasantly surprised by Tanis’s plan. It wasn’t what he had expected and he would never have planned it this way, himself. But with EDI’s help it would work. Now he was just waiting on word from the AI. Then everything would begin…  
~ooooooooooooo~  
Sparatus growled low as he stalked down the alleyways of the Citadel. He couldn’t believe Tania would dock here after everything that had happened. It was as though she was mocking him. He loved her and couldn’t have her. Now she was back with Garrus and he had no chance. The way he saw it, he was the only man who would ever have Tania as his own.   
His hand clenched into a fist as he thought of her and the time they had shared. The way she screamed her pleasure. How her body wrapped snugly around him; her inner muscles rhythmically clenching as he watched her find her release. He had never been with a human before, and they were nothing like turians. Female turians didn’t have those muscles, and it was something he couldn’t forget.   
Tania was out of his reach for now… but not long….  
He grinned smugly as he thought of the meeting he’d just left. In a few hours Tania would be his permanently, and Garrus would be dead. His plan was falling into place perfectly.  
Well, not all of it was perfect. There was still Pallin to be dealt with. The executor was another thorn in his side that he would have to take care of soon. Pallin had stolen most of his supporters. He had also spoken with the primarch. He didn’t know why Pallin would be talking with him, but it couldn’t be good for his position. There had been whispers that he was about to be replaced, but he hadn’t been able to identify the possible usurper. The primarch wouldn’t talk with him anymore, as their last conversation had ended in an argument. Victus seemed to know about his plans for Shepard. So now he had to move quicker than expected. Once he showed the primarch the benefits of having Tania by his side, however, he knew that he would have nothing to worry about.   
He glared at his door when he finally reached it. This was the last place he wanted to be, but he couldn’t be connected to what was to come. A malicious grin split his face as he opened the door and stepped inside.   
~oooooooooooooo~  
Pallin’s office.  
A masked figure walked into the office as ordered. He couldn’t believe the amount of money he was being paid for this job. He shook his head, shocked that Thane Krios had refused the job. He had thrown it back in the turian’s face. Stupid drell. Well he was about to prove that he was the better assassin.   
Once he planted this information, his next stop would be the Normandy, Thane Krios’ current residence. He couldn’t wait.   
He hacked the computer easily.   
“Did you really think that I didn’t know about this?” a voice whispered in the darkness.   
The assassin glanced around, seeing nothing in the shadows around him. He knew the person wasn’t human, but there were no clues to the actual race. He decided not to answer and finish his mission. If the person showed himself, he would kill him. Once the information was downloaded then he would search out the disembodied voice and silence it forever.   
He plugged in the chip and waited. “That’s your first mistake. I thought better of you,” the voice purred.   
The assassin ignored the voice. He only had to wait a few seconds and it would be finished; then he could take care of this annoyance.   
“Second mistake, keeping your back to your enemy….” the voice hissed.   
The assassin grunted and held in a scream as pain shot through his leg. He glanced around fearfully, but saw nothing. His leg screamed where the blow had landed. He didn’t even feel the person when he was near and now he was gone again. He didn’t like this…. For the first time he thought that he might not be able to finish this contract.   
Slowly biting off a groan he checked to see how the download was coming along. Sharp pain lanced through him. He looked down to see a blade sticking out of his stomach. Slowly he slid to the floor, accompanied by his attacker. He looked up and saw the dark ebony eyes and green scales that glinted from the light of the computer screen. Thane Krios had found him. He had been the prey, not the other way around.   
“One down, one more to go,” Thane whispered as he walked out of the office with the chip in his hand.   
The assassin gurgled, pressing the button on his wrist. ‘Thane Krios will die’ he thought as his breath stilled and the light left his eyes.   
~oooooooooooooo~  
A barely audible beeping sounded. Ebony eyes stared at his wrist and grinned maliciously. The stranger disappeared into the crowd, moving swiftly to his destination.   
It was time.  
~oooooooooooooo~  
Tania curled up to Garrus, sighing contentedly. They were sleeping in the apartment away from the crew. Thane had left, claiming to have unfinished business. He didn’t explain and she wasn’t going to ask. She wasn’t concerned. She knew Thane could more than handle himself.   
She allowed her eyes to drift shut, knowing she was safe and secure in her husband’s arms.   
~oooooooooooooo~  
Ebony eyes watched and waited. The intruder smirked as he watched the human drift off to sleep. The ducts hid him so well that she didn’t even suspect his presence. He watched as she curled up with her turian lover. Disgust rushed through him. Fucking either of his victims’ species was completely beneath him. He didn’t know how they could touch each other. The last human he had bedded he had killed very slowly while her husband watched. His grin grew bigger as the memory of it returned.   
He knew the young drell he had been teaching was dead. He wasn’t upset. The youth had done what he was supposed to and that was all that mattered to him.   
He wondered what the hanars would think when they learned that their precious Thane was gone. His excitement was palpable. He has waited forever for a contract like this. Killing Thane would be his pleasure. These two were an added bonus. The famous Commander Tania Shepard and her husband, Garrus Vakarian, a/k/a Archangel, would be his ultimate victims.   
Everything was set. Now all he had to do was wait.   
~oooooooooooooo~  
Thane rushed to Tania’s home. He now knew it had been a setup. The assassin he encountered had been too easily defeated. He shook his head at his own stupidity. He should have known better. He just prayed that he wasn’t too late.   
He knew time was of the essence. Tania and Garrus’ lives depended on him. He knew he should have told them about the assassins when he first learned of their existence, but he hadn’t wanted to give out that information while the other turian was in the room.   
He had just finished reading a message when Garrus contacted him. He had thought he would have a chance to tell them of his discovery, but Executor Pallin had been there. He didn’t know the turian. He knew Tania trusted him, as did Garrus, but he didn’t.   
He moved through the vacant streets, pleased that it was so easy to get around this late. Unfortunately he didn’t hide his identity in his rush to save his friends. Many had seen him so that may cause problems later if the worse should befall them.   
He stopped before the apartment doors. “EDI, how are Garrus and Tania?” he asked, hoping the computer could tell him even though they weren’t on the ship.   
“Normal. They are both sleeping,” EDI answered before logging off.   
Thane let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t too late. Not for a minute did he think he was wrong. His prey was here, very close by. Now it was time to kill an assassin….


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Tania heard the doors to her apartment open, her body instantly on alert at the sound. She nudged Garrus; it didn’t take much for him to awaken, fully alert. He felt her tension, she was sure. 

“What?” Garrus whispered. 

She nodded toward the door. It was a motion Garrus knew well. He automatically grabbed the gun by the side of the bed as Tania reached beneath the bed for hers. Both aimed the weapons at the bedroom door as they slowly got out of bed. 

Tania stopped, her body tensing. Garrus hesitated when he saw his mate’s reaction. He watched her glance around, her eyes settling on the nearby vent. He didn’t need to be told that there was someone or something behind it. Even without all her memories, her senses were still acute when she allowed herself to use them. 

His gun automatically swung to the vent, his body relaxing for the shot. Garrus wasn’t sure how to proceed; they needed guns trained on both locations. He glanced at Tania and noticed that her gun was focused on the vent. Quickly he switched to covering the door and his mate. He moved his body in front of hers. She was still able to shoot, but he could protect her from any oncoming fire. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane thought about rushing through the house, but he knew Tania and Garrus would be on alert as soon as the apartment door opened. He stepped up to their bedroom door. “Commander, it’s me. May I enter?” he asked. He planned on entering anyway, but thought it best to alert the couple. 

Relief swept through him when the door opened, but the sight of the duo caused still more worries. Tania stood there in only her underwear, while Garrus was completely nude. He wondered if Garrus was going to kill him for seeing Tania in her current state. 

“Thane, we have company,” Tania stated, nodding toward the vent. The drell moved quickly, jumping up to the ledge just below the vent. He expertly unlatched it and looked into the darkness. He knew the assassin had been there and that the invader was drell. He could smell him. 

“He’s gone, Shepard,” Thane murmured, before crawling into the vent after the assassin. 

“Now where does he think he’s going?” Tania muttered as she watched Thane disappear into the small opening with ease. 

“I would assume he’s after whoever was in the air vent,” Garrus murmured as he passed his mate a shirt to cover herself. 

“But who the hell would be in my vent watching us sleep?” Tania hissed, the tension finally leaving her body to be replaced by anger. 

“Tania, you can’t be surprised. Sparatus still wants us dead and he has to know that we are on the Citadel,” Garrus stated, watching his wife closely. 

“Maybe, but we need to find Pallin and see if he’s still safe,” Tania stated as she rushed to the bedroom door. 

“Tania, you might not want to see Pallin until you have more clothing on. I wouldn’t really hate to be forced to kill him for seeing you like this,” Garrus said pointedly as he passed Tania her pants. 

“What about Thane?” Tania muttered with a scowl. She needed to be more on the ball than she was right now. If she kept this up she would make mistakes and all their careful planning would be ruined. 

“I wouldn’t worry about him. He’ll be fine,” Garrus murmured before heading to the door. 

                                                                ~oooooooooooooooooo~

Thane looked through the darkness, his vision perfectly clear. He knew the drell was just below him where the vent dropped off. He also knew he didn’t have advantage or surprise on his side. He could feel the tension in the small opening as he planned his next step. 

Chances were good that if he dropped down without a plan he was dead. The drell was waiting for him. 

A slow smile twitched at his lips as a thought came to him…

                                                                ~ooooooooooooooooo~

The drell watched the hole above him. He could smell Thane Krios. It would only be a matter of time before that drell was dead. He couldn’t wait for the pleasure of taking down the great Thane Krios. 

He leaned back slightly, staring up at the darkness and waiting for his prey to arrive. He knew Krios wouldn’t be able to hold back long. He would follow him down and die. 

The assassin scowled as he thought of his main targets; he would deal with them after Krios. He knew if his employer found out he would be dead. Shepard and Garrus were supposed to be his main targets, but Krios was his personal target and he wasn’t giving up this chance for any paying customer. 

His body tensed when the shadows grew darker; slight movement could be seen inside the vent. He smirked and knew he had Krios. Revenge foremost in his mind, he fired into the darkness and watched as a shadow fell from above. 

Finally Thane Krios was dead. 

The darkness hit him… covering him. Fear slithered up his back for a moment. He grabbed at the black material and knew he’d failed. It hadn’t been Krios, but his jacket. 

He knew without being told that Krios was right in front of him. The jacket slid from his body onto the ground. He stared into calm ebony eyes as the blade descended. 

He had no time to block, no time to defend…. he was dead. He’d lost to Krios.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooooo~

Thane watched as the body fell limply to the ground. He knew the drell. They had trained together, but his opponent  had always failed at the tougher training. He hadn’t been able to adapt quickly enough. Thane shook his head at the waste of life. 

He scowled, removing his blade from the assassin’s throat. 

It was time. The assassin was gone. All that was left was Sparatus. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Sparatus paced his room. He should have heard from the assassin he’d hired by now. His own fear was palpable in the air around him. 

He’d already taken every security precaution he could think of for his apartment. He knew no one would be able to get him here so he was safe for a little while. His first thought was to have Garrus and Shepard arrested, along with the drell. But that wouldn’t work. His plans would be revealed and it would be the end of him. The Council had already warned him away from Shepard when Pallin made mention that he was pursuing a married woman. 

He had nearly lost his seat on the Council then. But he couldn’t let her go, she was his mate. Every fiber of his being said this. It didn’t matter that she was married to Vakarian; she was his and no one else’s. 

He had bonded with her. When she’d released her scent as a turian in heat, he knew that she could never belong to another. 

He paced his apartment once more. His agitation grew with each hour that passed. 

He jumped when he heard a sound, but he knew it was nothing. His apartment was filled with creaks. 

He thought about going to confront them, but that would be folly. They would kill him easily. With a shake of his head he walked back to his living room. Maybe if he sat awhile he would calm down….

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Shepard and Garrus stayed in the shadows outside of Sparatus’ apartment. She was nervous; too many things could go wrong and they hadn’t heard from Thane for some time. That scared her. She didn’t know what was taking the assassin so long. She hadn’t heard from him since he’d knocked on her door and she’d watched him disappear through the vent. 

They had found Pallin safe and sound with a few guards he’d hired for a conference the following day. She was glad that at least part of the plan was still moving forward as it should. She prayed that Sparatus hadn’t hired anyone for protection. Such a move would make their plan impossible, but she couldn’t see him doing that. It wasn’t in his character. He was too cocky to imagine that they would come for him.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Thane quickly disabled the four cameras in Sparatus’ apartment that EDI’s layout plans had indicated. One of them had been a hidden camera - one that none of them would have found if it hadn’t been for the AI. He lightly dropped to the floor and approached the main computer console as he listened to the councilor in the kitchen, waiting for him to come to the living room. 

He disabled the main console so the councilor wouldn’t be able to call for help. All safety precautions had been taken; now all he had to do was signal Shepard when the time was right. 

He smirked as he took a seat on the couch, waiting for the agitated turian to come back to the room. He knew it wouldn’t take long, not with the amount of pacing he had watched the turian do over the past hour. 

He kept himself in shadows as he watched Sparatus walk into the room. He wasn’t surprise that the turian didn’t immediately see him. 

“Councilor,” Thane said casually as he pressed a button on his omnitool, informing Garrus and Shepard that it was time to begin. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Sparatus walked into the living room, hoping he would be able to calm down there. It had been a long time since he’d felt this much fear. He knew something big was about to happen, but had no idea what it was. He was pretty sure that Shepard planned to kill him, but that would be impossible for her to do. She wouldn’t murder her bonded mate. He smiled slightly at that thought. He was safe now. He just needed to wait until his assassin contacted him.

“Councilor,” a rumbling voice greeted him. His heart leapt into his throat and began to race. His body froze as terror gripped him. _He needed to get control of himself…._

He stared into the shadows, unable to make out the source of the voice. He hoped that it was the assassin he’d hired and not someone else. He had been positive that he had made this apartment secure.

He watched, terror still holding him as the intruder’s omnitool lit up, highlighting his face. He knew it wasn’t the assassin he hired, but Thane Krios. 

“What are you doing here?” Sparatus growled menacingly. He couldn’t let his fear ride him. If he was going to make it through this he had to swallow his fear. 

“Keeping a promise,” Thane answered with cold eyes as he stared at the person who’d hired him to kill Shepard and Garrus. “You made a mistake placing a hit on Garrus and Tania - a mistake that won’t be repeated.”

Sparatus was about to reply, but fear silenced him when the doors to his apartment and his two intended victims stepped inside. 

“You… you’re alive….” Sparatus growled. 

“The assassin you hired was an amateur,” Thane answered for the two others. “He won’t be reporting in.”

Sparatus took a step back toward the kitchen, needing to find an escape. He knew deep inside that it was futile. His front door was blocked by his mate and Garrus, and the drell would never leave him alive. 

“It would be in your best interest to remember that I am a Council member. Nothing you do will go unpunished,” Sparatus hissed arrogantly.

“And you expect to walk away from everything you’ve done, Sparatus?” Tania asked scathingly. “You tried to take me from my mate. You hired an assassin to kill me and Garrus!” she growled, taking a menacing step toward the councilor with each word she spat at him. 

“You are my mate, not his! You belong to ME!” Sparatus roared so loudly that the sound bounced off the walls. 

Garrus growled viciously. “My mate!” They were the only words his mind could form. The look on Sparatus’ face and the marking scent that filled the room made his blood boil. 

No one tried to stop him as he swiped at the councilor. It wouldn’t have mattered if they had. No one was taking his mate from him again, and this turian needed to die. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Tania stood still, watching as Garrus moved quickly toward Sparatus, rage burning bright in his eyes. She noticed that he didn’t have his gloves on anymore and knew that this was going to be the end. The violent death she had planned wasn’t going to happen - not now. This was Garrus’ moment, his time to protect his mate. She understood that he needed to be the one to finish it. 

“Siha, I think we should move well back,” Thane told her gently as he touched her on the arm. She stepped back with him, making sure they weren’t standing too close to each other. She didn’t want her husband to get the wrong idea. She wasn’t sure how clearly he was thinking. 

She flinched as she watched Sparatus’ claws rake across Garrus’ armored waist. She knew Garrus hadn’t felt it, but just the thought that he could have been injured had her on edge. 

She watched as blue blood arced through the air and one of Sparatus’ mandibles landed at her feet. She was surprised that it didn’t slow him down. He kept fighting even though he didn’t stand a chance. Garrus was dressed in his usual armor, while Sparatus wore only his casual clothes.

“Siha, you shouldn’t move closer. Garrus would never forgive himself if you were injured,” Thane reminded her as she involuntarily moved closer to the fight. 

She turned her focus to Thane, moving back to his side. Her attention once more snapped to the fight when she heard a hiss. If she could have, she would have growled. Sparatus’ claws had raked across the injured side of Garrus’ face, ripping the bandage off with a thin layer of his plating. 

She smirked as Garrus roared and lunged forward. She was surprised by the shocked look on Sparatus’ face and the way he tightly gripped Garrus’ shoulder. 

“She should have been mine…” Sparatus croaked, blue blood spilling from his mouth as he leaned heavily on Garrus. Tania was trying to figure out what happened. The position the turians’ bodies kept her from seeing the details of their fight

“She was never yours. She was always mine. Even when she fucked you it was me that she was with in her mind. Her body was reacting to images of me,” Garrus spat cruelly before jerking back from the other turian. He grimaced as his hand slid free of the body, a blue heart held tightly in his claw. He watched as the councilor dropped to the floor and stared sightlessly up at him. 

Acting on instinct, ignoring all internal warnings to the contrary, he moved to Tania with determined steps. He didn’t ask or give warning as he moved her head off to the side and bit down into her soft skin. “Mine…” he growled as he held her close. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooooo~

Thane turned his back on the mated couple and focused on the room. There were too many things in the room that gave way to their presence. He knew there was no way they would get away with this. There was DNA, both Tania and Garrus’. Then there was Garrus’ marks all over the Turian Councilor. He didn’t know how they could possibly contain it all. 

The original plan involved knocking out the councilor, moving him to the Normandy, and killing him there. They would dispose of his body in space, well away from the Council’s prying eyes, but that wasn’t possible now. 

He hoped he had a chance to see Kolyat one last time before he was sent to prison. They could run, but they wouldn’t get far. The Council would find them no matter where they went. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Tania looked around, her throat still throbbing from Garrus’ bite. She couldn’t be mad at him for it, but she wished he had been a little gentler. 

“So how do we hide this?” she asked, turning hopeful eyes on their assassin. 

“We can’t. Sparatus’ body shows signs of his demise and there is DNA everywhere. It would be impossible to get everything,” Thane muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“Garrus and I are the only ones that will be found. Not you,” Tania stated with certainty. There was no way she was going to let him be caught. Not when he’d just reunited with his son. 

Thane didn’t say a word. Though he wanted to believe her, he couldn’t be as certain as Tania that he would be safe.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Shepard paced her room. Garrus sat on the bed watching her. He had tried a few times to calm her, but it hadn’t worked. He knew she had to work through this on her own. 

He wondered how the drell was holding up. He had seen the worry the assassin tried to hide when they boarded the ship. There wasn’t much he could do to help him; right now he felt useless.

“Tania, we should finish the missions we have,” Garrus murmured. 

“No, I’m not running. I’ll face this just as I’ve faced everything else,” Tania stated.

“Then Thane should see his son before they find Sparatus’ body.” 

Tania sighed, “Yeah, you’re right.” She bowed her head. They had been waiting close to a day for word from the Council, but none had come. She didn’t understand it. She thought for sure that they were caught. She could only assume that they hadn’t found his body yet. She knew their time was running out; they couldn’t hide what they’d done. There had been too much evidence left behind when Garrus lost control. 

“EDI, patch me through to Bailey,” Tania requested quietly. 

“Understood, Commander,” EDI answered. It only took a moment before Bailey appeared on her terminal. 

“Shepard, what can I do for you?” Bailey asked, looking harried. 

“I want you to send Kolyat to the Normandy so that he can visit his father before we leave,” Shepard requested, trying her best to hide her turmoil. She knew she was taking a great risk by talking with Bailey. 

“Sure. He was talking about visiting his father, but Sere Krios hasn’t stopped by yet. He’ll be at the Normandy in half an hour,” Bailey answered with an attempt at a smile. She didn’t need to ask. She knew they’d already found Sparatus’ body. 

“Oh, Shepard, you should know that the Turian Councilor was found dead in his quarters this morning. The remaining councilors are talking with all available Spectres, so I would suggest staying docked,” Bailey warned her with shrewd eyes. 

“Have they banned any ships from leaving?” Tania asked curiously. 

“No, not yet. They say that they know who committed the crime, however,” Bailey answered. He still didn’t know who it was. It wouldn’t shock him if he learned that it was Shepard. If all the rumors he’d heard were true then he wouldn’t blame her for killing that turian. Without another comment he cut the transmission and went to find the drell. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Valern, Tevos, and Anderson stood in a conference room discussing Sparatus’ death. Valern shared a look with Tevos. They knew who was responsible and what they were going to do about it. The presence of the human, however, made it impossible to reveal their plans.  

“Have any of the Spectres found evidence as to the culprit?” Anderson asked for the third time since this meeting had begun. He had been trying to find out information since they’d discovered the body, but no answers had been forthcoming. He knew they didn’t trust humans, but he couldn’t help them if they refused to talk. Frustration didn’t begin to cover what he was feeling at the moment. 

“What do you know of it?” Tevos asked calmly. They needed to know. Anderson was known to help out certain humans when they found themselves in tight spots. 

“Nothing. The Spectres won’t talk to me. All I know is that Sparatus is dead,” Anderson snapped, glaring at them coldly. 

Tevos and Valern shared one more glance. They hadn’t been sure, but now that they knew the truth there was no reason to hide what was going on. “Commander Shepard and one of her companions killed Sparatus last night," Tevos stated, watching Anderson closely. 

“Shepard? She wouldn’t kill without good reason,” Anderson defended her. 

“She had a reason,” Valern said. “Sparatus had already been warned and reprimanded for his actions toward Shepard. The warnings did nothing to deter him. Furthermore, he hired an assassin to kill Shepard and her husband.”

“If you know all this then why has Shepard not been arrested?” Anderson asked with narrowed eyes. He knew they were plotting something, but what he couldn’t decide what it was. He wouldn’t be surprised if they made Shepard a scapegoat and added a few other crimes that they wanted to cover up. 

Tevos glanced at Valern and nodded her head. Valern scowled. He didn’t think it wise that they share this part, but it appeared that they had no choice.

Tevos sighed when Valern didn’t say a word. “Shepard will be taken care of in due time. She has not departed the Citadel, nor does it look like she will until this is resolved. But there is a more pressing matter to attend to. Executor Verani Pallin has been moving through the political ranks quickly. The Turian Primarch wishes him to take over Sparatus’ spot on the Council. He will be here shortly to officially take his place among us. Then we can proceed with Shepard,” Tevos said calmly as she watched the human closely. She assumed he would warn Shepard at the earliest possible time so they had made plans to avoid losing the commander and the Normandy until they were done with her.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooooo~

Kolyat stood onboard the Normandy just inside of the airlock. Two men stood guard beside him with orders not to move from his position. He had heard one of them request for Shepard to come to CIC. Now he waited. He wasn’t sure how long of a wait he would have, but at least he didn’t feel too threatened by their presence. 

He smirked as he thought of Shepard. He’d met her when he accepting an assassination contract on a turian politician. What he hadn’t known at the time was that his father and Shepard had been hunting for him, trying to stop him from reaching his goal. 

He shook his head. Every time he thought about his first meeting with Shepard his jaw still throbbed. He flashed back to the anger and disgust in her eyes as she’d stared at him. 

“Kolyat, follow me,” Tania stated as she waited for the drell to return from his memories. She watched as shock covered his face before hiding behind a mask of anger. 

Kolyat scowled. He hated when he was so lost in memories that someone could sneak up on him. Realizing that it was Shepard only made it worse. 

He nodded slowly and followed her to the elevator. “Why did you ask me to come here instead of having my father come to me?” Kolyat asked curiously. 

He took a step back when the commander stopped and gave him a searching look. He stood there under that piercing gaze, trying not to shift his position. “Your father recently helped me with a problem to insure the safety of this crew. For his actions he may be caught and sent to jail. I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Tania stated tiredly. 

“You mean I just got my father back and now I may lose him?” Kolyat bit out, anger and betrayal burning through him. 

“Not if I can help it,” Tania whispered, sadness filling her eyes as she turned to board the elevator. 

Kolyat saw the sadness and it dampened his anger. “What happened? And don’t say ‘nothing’ like humans love doing,” Kolyat muttered, watching the small human female intently. 

“A person in a powerful position wouldn’t leave me alone even though I was married. He pushed to win me and then sent assassins after us. We decided to end his life and it was done last night. Your father took care of the assassins, while we took care of the other problem,” Shepard answered, bracing herself for the anger she saw vibrating through the young drell. 

Kolyat felt like he’d just had a bucket of cold water thrown over him. He couldn’t help the trill of anxiety that escaped him. She didn’t need to identify the victim. He already knew. Shepard and his father had killed the Turian Councilor. But if what she said was true, then they had no choice or the councilor may well have killed them all. 

Kolyat glanced at the commander and wondered who her husband was. He had heard the rumors, but thought nothing of it until this moment. He wondered who would hold the attention of this human. He gave a mental shrug; it wasn’t that important. 

He followed her through the mess hall. He noticed quite a few humans, but there was other species there, as well. He saw a turian with a bad scar on his face watching them closely. He was sitting with a few humans, and one of them had a scar that covered most of his face. There was also a krogan that was eating as though a famine had just settled over the ship. His eyes widened when he noticed an asari sitting with a human female that had a hood covering her face. He hadn’t expected such diversity amongst the crew.

He gave Shepard a questioning glance when they stopped in front of a door further down a hallway. His eyes widened when she walked in without warning. 

“Hey, Thane, got a present for you,” Tania said jovially as she walked into Life Support. 

“Siha, how are you?” Thane answered with a smile. 

Kolyat heard his father call this woman ‘siha’ and hurt, anger, and betrayal ran through him. He didn’t need to ask who her husband was; he now knew. His father had replaced his mother without even consulting him. 

Without thinking of what he was doing, only reacting to the emotions boiling through him, he shoved Shepard against the closest wall. Turning to his father with his wife pinned to the panel, he glared at the older drell. “So it’s true. Mother and I never meant anything to you. You married again and forget mother! I shouldn’t be shocked. You were never there before. So how long didn’t you wait, a month? A year?” Kolyat bit out scathingly. 

He turned his focus to the woman he had pinned. “Did you have fun playing me for the fool?” he sneered. Kolyat’s eyes burned as a scent came to him. His first reaction was to rub his eyes to alleviate the burning, but his anger was too high. 

Garrus had heard the commotion. He rose from his seat, ready to defend his wife even though he knew she didn’t need it. He walked over to Thane’s room and heard what his son had to say. Garrus felt sorry for the kid, but right now the young drell had his hands on his wife and he didn’t take kindly to that. 

“What do you think you’re doing to my mate?” Garrus asked with a bite to his words. 

Kolyat hesitated when he saw the turian standing right behind him. _His mate?!_ Kolyat’s mind tried to process the words. He trilled loudly out of fear and embarrassment. His shoulders slumped in humiliation as he backed away from the commander. 

Thane stood from his seat, worry slithering through him. He knew his son had just made a fatal error and wondered if he could save him. He would die trying, but Tania and Garrus had earned his respect and he hated that he may have to fight one or both of them to protect his son. His son’s words had hurt a lot, and it angered him that Kolyat would think such things about him. 

He moved silently, watching Garrus closely. He noticed his son’s posture and knew he regretted what he’d said, but it may already be too late. He hoped that wasn’t the case. 

Kolyat kept his eyes downcast, not able to look at anyone. Garrus saw this and took pity on the young drell. He had noticed Thane moving closer, ready to protect his son. It actually increased his respect for the drell. 

“You know, Tania, if this continues I am going to lock you in your room where you’ll have to stay away from all males on the ship,” Garrus joked. 

“Just try it,” Tania grumbled with a glare. 

“Don’t tempt me. Considering how many men are mooning after you I should,” Garrus joked as he winked at his wife.

Kolyat listened to them and couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face. 

“I should dump your ass and move in here with Thane. At least there would be silence,” Tania taunted, enjoying the amused look on Thane’s face. 

“He would probably be smart and tie you up and gag you,” Garrus joked, watching the drell out of the corner of his eye. He hid his smirk as he noticed the younger drell losing his distressed look. 

“I think not. She would be going back to you tied and gagged,” Thane muttered with an amused smirk. 

“Now there is a plan,” Garrus murmured with a grin. 

Kolyat snickered when he heard his father talk. He was shocked that they were being so forgiving of his mistake. He saw the turian grin and watched as he and the commander walked out of the room, still bickering. He turned back to his father, his uncertainty and turmoil returning. 

“I…uh….I apologize for what I said. I had no right,” Kolyat murmured. He didn’t have a right; his father should be able to find happiness wherever he could. He knew this, but it felt like he would be replacing his mother and that hurt more than anything. 

Thane watched his son for a moment. “I call her ‘siha’ for that is what she is,” Thane told him. “I loved your mother, will always love her…” he trailed off when he felt the pain that usually came when talking about her. Being with the people of this ship helped ease that pain. 

“Shepard told me there is a chance you might be going to jail,” Kolyat commented to change the subject. He didn’t want to talk about the past, not when there was more pressing matters. 

“Yes, it would seem so,” Thane murmured, closing his eyes as despair hit him. He wasn’t ready to lose the son he’d only just found. 

“She also said it was because you were helping her out. I don’t know the details, but I know who died - the Turian Councilor. Why would Shepard want him dead?” Kolyat asked as fear raced through him. 

Thane motioned him to the seat across from him and decided to tell him the entire story. He figured his son should know since the chances were great that he would be losing his father. There would be large pieces that he would leave out, but he would tell enough so that his son would understand. At least he hoped he would. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Tania leaned back in her chair as she picked at her food. She decided to stay in the mess hall instead of going up to her room. 

“So, Shepard, when are we leaving here?” Zaeed asked with a raised brow. 

“When the shit storm is over,” Tania answered with a smirk. 

“What did you do this time?” Jack asked with a grin. 

“Took care of some business,” Tania answered evasively. 

“Whenever you say that, it means someone died,” Jack reminded her with a chuckle. “So who was the fucker that died this time?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Tania answered with a smirk. 

“Commander, I’ve been watching all communications on the Citadel at your request. I think you should see this,” EDI stated before bring up the news feed in the mess hall. 

_This is Citadel news. This morning at 7 am Citadel time the body of Councilor Sparatus was found dead. The Council states that they have a possible suspect for the crime. They are currently waiting for confirmation before releasing the names of those responsible. We will keep you updated as the case unfolds._

Tania watched the video, her face devoid of any emotion. Garrus glanced at her and worried. To most it would look like she wasn’t fazed, but he knew that video had bothered her a great deal.

“Shepard, you need to come to the cockpit,” Joker announced over the com. Everyone heard the annoyance and worry in his voice. 

“Wonder what’s going on?” Jacob commented as he watched the commander leave. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Garrus hedged before leaving them to their lunches. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

“What do you mean the Normandy had been locked down?” Shepard growled. 

“Exactly what I said. The red lights popped up on the console and then I received a message that we are in lockdown,” Joker told her nervously. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“Yeah I do. None of the crew will be affected. I’m going to see the Council,” Tania told him before walking away. She stopped dead when she saw Garrus. 

“Don’t bother stopping me. You won’t be able to,” she warned him. 

“I wasn’t about to stop you, but you are not leaving without me,” Garrus stated and his tone told her there was no point in arguing. 

“Fine, but I am going to talk with Thane before we leave,” she said softly. 

Joker heard their conversation and shook his head. He should have guessed that Shepard had something to do with Sparatus’ death. After everything that had happened since her resurrection it didn’t shock him. Now he wondered what would happen if they lost the commander. She was the only person he knew who could bring them through the Omega 4 relay alive. 

“EDI, when Garrus and the commander leave came you listen in on what’s going on?” he asked quietly so that he wasn’t overheard. 

“Yes, and I had already planned on it. Zaeed and Jack already informed me that they would create a distraction if they need to escape back to the ship. Grunt said he would cover them if necessary,” EDI informed him. Joker shook his head with an amused smile. For a woman who had started this mission as a complete mess, Shepard had everyone’s respect now. He wasn’t shocked or surprised. He knew this would happen when the real Shepard, the one he had served under before her death, came back. Now she was here. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooooo~

Tevos stood in Valern’s office. They had turned off all listening devices in the room. This was too important for anyone else to hear, particularly their human counterpart. 

“Is everything set up?” Valern asked with a shrewd look. 

“Yes, everything is already set in motion,” Tevos answered with a smirk. 

“Last I heard Shepard was heading to the tower,” Valern scowled at Tevos. 

“I wasn’t informed of this,” Tevos glared at him. “The last information I received was that Shepard was still onboard the Normandy. The fact that she didn’t run shows that we were right about her.” 

“Whether we were right or not, matters not,” Valern snapped. If their plan was going to work, they didn’t need Shepard on a pedestal. 

“Yes it does matter. You saw Sparatus over the last few months, and know how much he had changed. He was a danger. He almost killed you when you told him to leave Shepard alone. He would eventually have created a scandal that couldn’t be erased,” she told him firmly. 

“I know that. You and I already agreed with the turian government on the steps that needed to be taken. When Shepard arrived we will dismiss her and continue on with the plan,” Valern explained. They didn’t need any further mistakes. He hated admitting it, but this was the best thing for them all. He just hoped they weren’t wrong. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooooooo~

Shepard stormed back to the Normandy, her anger burning bright. Garrus walked worriedly beside her. It had been a while since he’d seen her this angry. The Council had shunned her completely when she’d sought an audience with them. Though he wasn’t surprised, he was now positive that they knew what had happened with Sparatus. 

“I can’t fucking believe…” she nearly shouted, but couldn’t finish the sentence. Her ire was too high. 

Garrus nodded wordlessly. 

“How could they dismiss me when they know?” she snarled in frustration. 

“Tania, you can’t be surprised,” Garrus tried to reason with her. 

“Be surprised? What the hell!” she yelled, catching the attention of nearby civilians.

“Tania, wait till we are on the Normandy,” Garrus said with a warning hiss.    

“No I won’t! Garrus, they know what happened, yet they still denied me an audience. You know damn well what that means! They have plans! You know they are plotting something and it has to do with what happened,” Shepard snarled, forgetting where she was and the attention that had turned her way. 

Garrus didn’t know what to say to that. He knew she was right. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Shepard entered the ship, Garrus right behind her. She was still in a rage. She wanted to calm down, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. It had taken them a few hours to get back to the ship because Garrus hadn’t thought the crew would be safe with the state that she was in. Now she was calmer, able to think rationally. 

“Shepard, you NEED to see the news,” Joker said pointedly. 

“Why?” she asked tiredly. 

“Watch it,” Joker ordered for the first time in his life. He gave her a pointed look, hoping that look alone would make her do it. 

“Fine, I’ll watch it,” she grumbled and headed to her chambers. 

With Garrus hot on her heals she jumped into the elevator. Her first stop was to get some food, then she would head to her room to watch the news. Garrus smirked when he saw her punch the pad for the mess hall. 

He was surprised to see Kolyat and Thane were the only ones in the mess hall. “Siha, have you seen the news?” Thane asked with smiling eyes. 

“No, not yet. Going to grab some food first and then I’ll watch it,” Tania murmured. 

“I think you should watch it now,” Kolyat stated, ignoring the warning look in his father’s eyes.

He brought up the news feed on his omnitool and watched Shepard very carefully. 

_We have the latest news on the death of Councilor Sparatus. The Council members have finally revealed who was responsible for his death. An assassin working on behalf of the turian government killed the Council member late last night. When asked who sanctioned the kill, no answers were forthcoming. The Council is still investigating and state that they plan on getting to the bottom of this crime._

_In other news, Verani Pallin, the former C-Sec executor, has taken the seat left vacant by the death of Councilor Sparatus. He was appointed to the position early this morning._

Shepard met Thane’s eyes and saw the relief in them. She turned her focus to her mate and could feel his contentment. She glanced at Kolyat and saw him grinning. She could see the knowledge in his eyes and knew that he was aware of the true story. Thane must have told him. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but it didn’t matter now. She knew the kid wouldn’t say anything. 

“Shepard, the Normandy has been cleared to leave whenever you are ready,” Joker announced over the com. 

“We’ll be leaving in two hours. Time to get Tali,” Shepard announced. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Garrus sprawled on the bed watching his mate as she fed her fish. He grinned as he remember Grunt asking many times to have her dead fish. To say the least his mate hadn’t been impressed. Grunt was willing to kill them all if it meant he could have them when they were dead. 

“Are you going to look at the message that has been waiting for you?” Garrus asked with amusement. 

“Nope,” Tania answered with a small smile over her shoulder. She stared at her mate for a few moments before turning back to her fish. 

“You should. It might be something important,” Garrus murmured. 

“It can wait till morning,” she shrugged. At the moment she was relaxing. All messages could wait. There was nothing important or life threatening. They had gotten away with killing Sparatus. Garrus had gotten his revenge and she was finally at peace. She had seen the joy in his eyes and reveled in it. 

“Are you going to come to bed, mate?” Garrus asked with a chuckle. 

“Maybe,” Tania drawled as she looked at him with heated eyes. 

Garrus’ brow ridge raised at the look in her eyes. He withheld a grin as she sauntered over to the bed. He waited to see what she was up to, but the heat in her eyes told him that he was going to love it. 

He watched as she walked over to her wardrobe and grabbed two belts. “Tania, what are you planning?” Garrus asked with slight uncertainty. 

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a while, but never have,” she purred. His eyes widened. If she wanted to do it then he was more than willing. He trusted her with his life and knew that she would do nothing to harm him. He also knew that his wife loved torturing him. 

His eyes widened when she tied down one of his arms. He tested the straps and knew the arm was trapped. He wasn’t worried, but he wasn’t aroused yet, either. He wasn’t sure what to make of this as he’d never done it before. A warning growl slipped out when she tied his other arm. He hadn’t meant for it to come out; it was instinctual. It didn’t bother his wife at all. Instead she laughed and licked his mandible. “Hush and enjoy,” she whispered before moving back to eye her handy work. To her it looked secure enough. Now she could do more to him and he couldn’t stop her before she was done. 

Garrus’ eyes widened as he watched his mate stripped down slowly. That alone was torture and knowing he couldn’t touch her made it worse. He swallowed thickly as the last of her clothing disappeared. The straps may not be doing much for him, but seeing his mate naked certainly did. His flaps were fully open, and his neck was slightly weeping. 

Garrus purred as she slowly made her way to him. He scented her and purred louder. His mate wasn’t in heat, so he would have some sanity through all of this, he hoped. The only current problem was that he was still in his pants and she wasn’t doing anything about it. 

He groaned low as she straddled his waist, her legs brushing against the sensitive skin there. “Hmm, this is going to be so much fun. This time when your instincts kick in, you can’t stop me,” she purred against his neck before licking the softened skin. _I was right. She does plan on torturing me,_ he thought to himself. 

He closed his eyes for a moment to regain some self-control and realized too late that it was a mistake. With his eyes closed the sensation of her wet flexible tongue hitting every sensitive spot on his torso and neck was amplified. She knew his body and what gave him the most pleasure. Now she was really using that knowledge to drive him insane. 

He jerked on the bindings as he strained against his pants. His only coherent thought was ‘MINE’. There was an almost desperate need to be united with her. He didn’t want to wait, but his wife was forcing him to do so. 

He snarled as he watched her wet mouth surround him. He was past moaning and groaning. His instincts were in complete control. He needed to mate with his wife. He needed to be within her, pounding into her until she begged for more. He needed to be surrounded by her scent. _He needed her._

Tania reveled in the feral look in Garrus’ eyes. She loved the primal sounds he made as he held her eyes. She knew he was past coherent thought. The only thing that mattered was his need to be with her. 

She didn’t know how she was able to do this to him, but she loved it. 

She moved up his body, making sure her skin touched him. She noticed him scenting the air. She didn’t smell anything, but she knew he did. She laid her teeth against his neck and felt him still, waiting for her to break through the softened skin. She smiled softly and bit down very gently. She wondered if the bonds would continue holding after she broke skin. She didn’t think so. 

“Say what you want, mate,” she whispered against his neck, her tongue darting out to taste the sweet film that coated his skin. 

The answered she got was a snarl, and she knew that it was time to end the torture. She clamped her teeth firmly against his neck, breaking through the soft skin. She held him tightly around the chest as the bonds snapped and a roar filled the room. 

Before she could think she found herself on her hands and knees; Garrus right behind her. She didn’t care. She was more than ready for him. She had finally gotten to taste every inch of his body and take him into her mouth. It was what she had always wanted, but Garrus never made it that far. He always lost control before she could satiate her curiosity. 

She moaned with pleasure when he thrust deep within her. She knew no matter how much control he lost he would never harm her any more than she wanted. This was what she wanted, needed after everything. She needed this moment; to give up control and know that she was safe. _God help anyone who interrupts us right now,_ she thought with amusement. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Garrus lay on his back, his eyes fixed on the mark he had placed on the back of Tania’s neck. At first when he saw it he had thought he’d been too rough; but now that he could clearly see it, he realized that he’d been too concerned. 

He purred his contentment as his wife curled her back to him. He watched her for a few more moments before rising from the bed. Something was bothering him and it had to do with that message. It had come while they were on the Citadel. He was pretty sure it was overprotectiveness on his part, but he knew he would never be able to sleep until he’d read it. 

He opened Tania messages, typing in the password that she had given him a while back. He smiled when he saw it was the same one. He went to the new message and read it. Then read it again. His eyes widened as he gazed at his sleeping wife. He couldn’t believe what he was reading, and he didn’t think Tania would believe it, either. 

“EDI, is this message valid?” Garrus asked quietly so as not to wake Tania. If it wasn’t he would delete it. 

“Already checked and yes it is. It was sent from Councilor Valern,” EDI answered before logging off. 

_Commander Shepard,_

_We know you and your mate are the ones that killed Sparatus. For your information we had already planned on terminating him, but you got to him before our assassins could. His death was sanctioned by the turian hierarchy, Tevos and myself; in part for the way he was treating you and also for the change within him over the past few months._

_The man on the news was the assassin sent to kill him. There is no need to worry that this will become public. All evidence of your presence in the penthouse has been destroyed. We found evidence of an assassin hired to kill you and found his body. We know this is not your work, and we don’t wish to know who committed the crime._

_Furthermore, you have the Council’s full support in your mission to take out the Collectors. We know you are working with Cerberus to remove the threat that they pose to humanity. We have received all of the reports for each mission you have done for the human splinter group. We know you are still loyal to the Council and the Alliance. When and if you return from the Omega 4 relay, we wish to speak with you._

_Councilor Valern_

   

 

 

  

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Garrus snapped awake when he rolled over and found the bed empty in the middle of the night.

“EDI, where is Tania?” Garrus questioned before he followed his instincts and went searching for her. 

“The commander is down in the sparring area,” EDI answered before logging him off. Garrus’ eyes narrowed as he heard these words. He didn’t understand why his wife would be there of all places. He thought she had relaxed following Tali’s rescue. He knew they hadn’t spoken, though Tania planned to to reconnect with the quarian as soon as the day shift started.  

Sighing, he rose from the bed and went to see his wife. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooooo~

Tania swung at the bag again, ignoring the feeling in her stomach. She’d come to the sparring area so she could focus on something other than the queasiness she’d been experiencing for several days. 

She didn’t even need to glance back when she heard the door open. She knew Garrus had come hunting for her. 

“Tania, why are you down here?” Garrus asked as he came over and held the bag for her. 

“Working through some things,” Tania muttered, not meeting his eyes. She hated admitting when she wasn’t feeling well. And she wasn’t about to change that now. 

“Tania,” Garrus growled her name as a warning. He knew she was hiding something. He sniffed the air and noticed a subtle difference in her scent.

“Garrus, it’s nothing important. I promise,” she muttered, giving him a pleading look. 

Garrus gave her a searching look and decided to leave it alone for the moment. “If you say so. But, Tania, if this nothing turns into something…” Garrus warned. 

“I know, and don’t worry. It’s probably nothing,” Shepard muttered and could have kicked herself. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it, but she had a hard time watching her tongue where her husband was concerned. 

Garrus latched onto her words. He knew the problem was physical, not mental. “We’re seeing Mordin now,” Garrus bit out, taking her firmly by the shoulders and leading her toward the door. 

“Garrus, there is no reason for that,” Tania grumbled. “It’s just an upset stomach,” she muttered with a glare. 

“That’s all?” Garrus asked and looked at her incredulously. 

“Yes, that is why I was down here. I’m trying to focus my mind on something else,” she grumbled, glaring at her husband. 

Garrus shook his head. He couldn’t believe he’d just made a big deal out of an upset stomach. Furthermore, he couldn’t believe that his wife was down here working through an upset stomach by hitting a punching bag. Though he shouldn’t have been surprised. Most would be in their room laying down or taking meds to settle it, but not his wife. She was beating the shit out a punching bag, instead. Some days he didn’t understand Tania and this were one of those days. 

                                                                                 ~ooooooooooooo~

Tania headed down to engineering and spotted Tali right away. She glanced at the other people working and made a motion. They vanished without argument. She was glad to see that her crew was now listening to her. 

“Tali?” Tania questioned hesitantly. 

Tali stiffened. She wasn’t certain if she knew this Tania. Her last encounter with the commander had gone terribly and now she was worried that Shepard would once again attack her. When they had rescued her, she had been so happy to see the Normandy crew that it hadn’t mattered a bit which Tania had saved her. But now that she had time to think on it, the situation scared her. She didn’t want to work for that other Shepard. 

Tania sighed when the quarian didn’t answer. “I know you don’t trust me and I don’t blame you. We had a rather difficult reunion,” Tania whispered. 

“What happened?” Tali asked, finally turning to meet her old friend’s eyes. This was the Tania she knew and respected. She searched those eyes for the Tania she’d met before - the cold, brutal, uncaring one. She couldn’t see her anywhere. It gave her hope. 

“Now that’s a long story. Here’s the short version…” Tania sighed and took a seat on the ground; looking up at the quarian. “Cerberus brought me back from the dead. The Illusive Fuck placed a woman in charge of my resurrection. Her name was Miranda. She placed a few chips and blocks in my head in an attempt to control me. Mordin removed them with the help of Samara. If he hadn’t removed them, I would still have no memory. Those chips made me the women you met before,” Tania told her. 

“Where is Miranda now?” Tali asked. She was pretty sure that she knew the answer, but she needed to hear it spoken aloud. The Shepard she’d known wouldn’t have allowed her to live. Tania hated betrayal. 

“Dead. I punched my fist through her chest and ripped out her heart,” Tania told her bluntly waiting for the anger or disgust. 

Tali stood looking at her thoughtfully. Did she trust this Tania? Yes, she thought that she did. This was the commander she knew. She could see it in her eyes. Her story explained so much and she was so glad to have _her_ Commander Shepard back. 

“I uh… I should get back to checking out these engines…” Tali said carefully as she turned back to the engines. 

Tania sighed, not able to hide the hurt in her eyes. “Tania, it’s good to have you back. I’m glad the other Shepard isn’t around anymore,” Tali stated with a smile. She noticed the startled look on Shepard’s face. It was the first time she had ever used her first name, but she did it to prove her point. 

“Thank you, Tali, for giving me another shot; especially after the way I treated you the last time,” Tania muttered. 

“Oh I knew something was wrong when we met before. What gave me hope was that I saw the real you that time, as well,” Tali answered and patted Shepard’s hand when she placed it on her shoulder. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Garrus watched his wife closely. For the past few weeks she had been waking up with an upset stomach. He noticed that she wasn’t eating as much as she should. He also noticed that she was more temperamental than normal. 

He thought about talking to Mordin about it, but decided that it must be a human reaction to being sick. He glanced at the rest of the crew. They didn’t seem to notice anything different with the commander and that helped to put him at ease. 

Mordin stepped into the mess hall and looked at Shepard. He hid his smirked as he saw her scowling at her food. He still couldn’t explain how it happened. He had done research, looking through all the information he had. He had even studied his test samples of the commander, but nothing could explain how this was possible. Even the doctor was unsure. They had been expecting it by the way Tania and Garrus reacted to each other, but they never thought anything would come from their union. 

Now he just needed to tell the two people involved. He wasn’t sure how he was going to explain it. The one person that could have answered his questions was dead. He knew Miranda would have been able to shed some light into how this was possible, but now they would never know. 

He grabbed some food, still contemplating each hypothesis he had for this phenomenon. He shook his head. Their basic physical makeup was too different. It was a well-known fact that turians and humans couldn’t produce offspring, but Tania and Garrus had just proven them wrong. 

Garrus glanced at Mordin. He could see that something was bothering the salarian. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask. He knew what the Salarian was like and a normally simple answer could turn into a very long debate. 

He turned his focus to his wife and scowled. She was once again pushing the food around on her plate. Her eyes were distant as one hand rested on her stomach. He decided that it was time to see the doctor and get to the bottom of the mysterious illness; no matter how much protesting his wife did. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooooo~

Chakwas glanced up when her door opened. She wasn’t surprised to see Garrus force an unwilling Shepard into her office. “Is there a problem, Garrus?” Chakwas asked with amusement. 

“Tania needs to be checked out. For the past several weeks she’s been having stomach problems,” Garrus told her, his hand on her shoulder protectively. 

“I think Mordin should be in on this discussion, too,” Chakwas murmured as she paged the scientist. 

“What’s going on?” Tania asked with narrowed eyes. 

Chakwas chuckled. “The impossible,” she answered with a twinkle in her eyes at the confused couple. 

“What does that mean?” Tania asked with a curious look. 

“Means you are with young,” Mordin answered as he walked into the room. 

Garrus and Tania stiffened. “Very funny, Mordin. You know turians and humans can’t conceive a child,” Tania said with a nervous chuckle. 

“Normally true, but scans of the both of you tell a different tale,” Mordin answered with a shrug as he ran another scanner over her. “This scan shows that you are approximately eight weeks pregnant.” 

“But this is impossible,” Tania hissed out in frustration. 

“Impossible or not, is fact now. You have conceived a child. Need to figure out gestation of pregnancy, need to do scans for complications that could arise. Need to be monitored constantly. Turian and human hybrids unknown entity. May not be able to carry child to full term. Too many variables and uncertainties. Shepard needs to be monitored for safety of she and the fetus,” Mordin stated brusquely.

“What kind of complications are we talking about?” Tania asked as worried filled her. 

“Should not be able to become impregnated by male turian. Impossible. Yet you are. Turian infants larger than humans. Protruding areas may cause damage to human body. Turian gestation period about 26 weeks, human gestation 40 weeks. Creates many problems. Needs constant monitoring,” Mordin explained, unable to hide the worry in his eyes. 

“Do your scans indicate which genes are dominant at the moment?” Chakwas asked, fear in her eyes as she listened to Mordin speak. 

“Scans show human genes dominant, which is good. Means less complications,” Mordin stated with a nod. “EDI will monitor until infant is delivered. Constant monitoring mandatory,” Mordin said with a pointed look before either could argue. 

“You can’t seriously be suggesting monitoring while we…” Garrus bit out and rubbed the back of his neck; unable to finish the sentence. 

“Even then, _especially then._ Need to make sure fetus not under duress during mating,” Mordin said adamantly with a smirk. 

Garrus growled low in his throat. The thought of Mordin or anyone monitoring them while he was mating with his wife was more than he could tolerate. He was about to give Mordin a piece of his mind, but stopped when the salarian spoke once more. 

“Only other solution to prevent danger is aborting the fetus before it develops any further,” Mordin said quietly. It was the only thing that he didn’t want to do. He was against taking a life, but he knew he had to provide that option. 

Garrus looked at Tania and saw the stunned expression on her face. He could see her fear and uncertainty. Without thinking of the others in the room he took Tania in her arms; holding her close as he nuzzled her neck and tried to sooth her. He noticed that Chakwas and Mordin moved away, giving them privacy. “What do I do, Garrus?” Shepard asked quietly. 

“What do you want to do?” Garrus asked. He prayed that she wasn’t thinking of aborting the child even though he knew that it was the safest choice. 

“We go after the collectors soon. I’m in deadly fights constantly. Is it safe for me to bring a child into this life?” she asked quietly, the first tear slipping down her cheek. She so wanted this child - a child that was Garrus’. But would it be fair for any child to be raised in constant danger? 

“Whatever you choose I’ll support you,” Garrus reassured her, holding her tightly to him. “If you choose to keep the fetus, we’ll make it work.” 

“Thanks, but I need to think. I need some time,” Tania murmured with a shake of her head. 

“You should talk to Thane or Samara. They’ve both had children and may be able to answer your questions,” Garrus told her softly. 

“Yeah maybe….” She trailed off, her mind fatigued. She wasn’t in any condition to make life-altering decisions. 

“Shepard, should know only have a few days before it’s too late to abort,” Mordin told her, trying to soften his voice. He could see her stress and turmoil and worried for her. He watched as they left the medbay. 

                                                                                ~OOOOOOOOOOOOO~               

Garrus sat on the couch watching Tania sleep. He was still coming to terms that he would become a father if Tania decided to keep the child. He couldn’t believe it. When he married Tania he’d accepted the fact that he would never be a father. He knew humans and turians couldn’t procreate, but now he was watching his pregnant wife as she slept. 

It scared him. There were so many problems that could arise to take away his wife once more. He knew if she left him once more he wouldn’t survive. Was the child worth that risk? Later, when the danger had passed, they could adopt. They had never talked about it, but he knew Tania would agree. 

Garrus sat there debating. He watched as his wife rolled over, her face relaxed in sleep. All the stress had washed away, if only for a few moments. He noticed that she rubbed her stomach in her sleep and a grimace contoured her face. That one look made the decision for him. His wife looked discomforted and he knew it would only get worse. 

He walked over to the bed, stretching out next to her. Lightly he brushed the loose hair off of her face. He watched as her eyes fluttered open. “Tania,” he whispered. “Don’t carry the babe. Not now.” 

“Garrus?” Tania whispered and partially sat up. 

“I saw you rubbing your stomach and I know you can’t do this right now. No matter how much I want this… we can’t,” Garrus muttered; his fear, anger, frustration and worry clear on his face. 

“Garrus, we may never get another chance again,” Tania reminded him. 

“I know, but is keeping this child really worth the risk? I can’t lose you again,” Garrus whispered, the first tear running down his cheek. Tania reached up and wiped it away. She wrapped her arms around her husband and held him close as he nuzzled her neck. She felt more tears against her skin and had her answer. She knew what she was going to do. 

“Garrus, if it happened once, there is a good chance it will happen again,” she warned him. 

Garrus froze. If that was true then his wife wasn’t safe. His lusts would kill her in the end….


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short, but I have been struggling with this story. Almost gave up on it, but as you can see I haven't. I will be finishing all of my stories, some chapters maybe very short, but the stories will get done.

Chapter 21

Tania narrowed her eyes at Garrus when she felt him stiffen. “You can get that thought out of your head,” she bit out. 

“Tania…” he started and stopped when she glared at him. 

“If you dare say its for my own safety…” she let the threat hang there. 

“It is!” Garrus snapped. 

“So what? You are not going to touch me ever?” she questioned mockingly. A sly smile came to her, “Then I guess I should…” she didn’t get a chance to finish before she was pinned to the bed. 

“I wouldn’t finish that sentence,” Garrus growled. The thought of Tania with another male ate at him. He would kill whoever she took to her bed. 

“You may say that you won’t bed me, but your body is saying something very different,” she murmured scratching lightly at the soft skin beneath him fringe. 

“I don’t want to see you hurt because of my lusts,” Garrus groaned, resting his brow against hers. 

“I’ll be hurt worse if you didn’t mate,” she whispered against his mouth. 

“Tania this child could cost you your life.” He reminded her. 

“That I highly doubt. I don’t think fate would have allowed us this chance if it would kill me,” Tania said calmly as she watched her mate’s eyes fill with turmoil. 

“You heard what Mordin said,” Garrus argued. 

“Yes I did, as did you. Garrus, you should know by now that I do the impossible,” she smirked, trying to lighten the mood. 

“You’re going through with this aren’t you?” he questioned, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it. 

“Yep, so be prepared for midnight feedings mate,” she answered with a shit eating grin.

“I’m not doing a diaper change, that is where I draw the line,” Garrus grumbled with a shake of his head. He couldn’t believe that he was going to let her go through with this. He should be stopping her, arguing with her, but he could see the happiness in her eyes and knew he couldn’t stop her. 

~oooooooooooooooooo~

The next while was busy, her and Garrus barely had alone time. She was on mission constantly, all the crew came to her with problems they wanted fixed before going through the relay and she didn’t blame them. So she did what she could for them, trying to put their demons to rest. Some mission bothered her more than other, some almost brought her to tears, while others made her angry. 

There was only a few things to do and that was getting the IFF and then heading through the relay. She glanced down at her stomach and smiled softly. She was now showing, and was trying to figure out if she should hold things off until she popped or stay with her plan. She wouldn’t be able to come up with answer until Mordin contacted her sometime today. 

“You finally have time to relax and you are looking over star charts,” Garrus muttered as he walked into their room. 

“Me rest? Garrus you know better than that,” Shepard grinned. 

“How was your meditation with Thane?” Garrus asked as he stood behind her rubbing her shoulders. 

“He finally was able to get me to meditate for a while. Still can’t do it as long as he does,” Tania murmured with a shake of her head. 

“I heard what you asked Mordin to do,” Garrus said watching his wife closely. He hadn’t been surprised when Mordin told him that Shepard wanted him to find a cure for Thane. But what surprised him was Mordin had been working on it for a while, long before Tania had mentioned anything. 

“If anyone deserves a second chance it’s him,” Tania answered. 

“I agree but the chances are high Mordin won’t find a cure,” Garrus warned her. 

“You’re probably right, but knowing Mordin…” she grinned at the thought of that salarian. 

“True, so when are you going to tell Thane?” Garrus asked. He worried how Thane would take the news. 

“He already knows. When he had me meditating he found out,” she answered with a grimace. She had thought Thane would be pissed but he hadn’t been, instead he took her hands and bowed deeply, thanking her for this chance if it came to be. He wasn’t getting his hopes up, but she already knew he had his hopes up. 

“So when do you see Mordin?” Garrus asked. 

“Whenever he done with his tests or whatever he is doing,” Tania muttered. 

“When you go I want to be there,” Garrus stated and then lifted his wife off of her office chair before taking her place. 

Tania grinned and moved so that she was straddling his lap. “Something you wanted mate?” she asked with a devious grin as she undid the buckles of his shirt. She could already feel him hard against her and needed to be with him now. It had been a while since they were intimate. 

“You know what I want,” he growled nipping at the soft skin of her neck. He moaned low as her hands delved beneath his shirt and lightly clawed at his the softer skin of his waist. Her smell enticed his to speed things up, the heat coming from between her legs almost made him forget himself and take her right there. But he held himself in check, he wasn’t about to lose control. 

Their mouths met heated, tasting, and dueling with each other as clothes disappeared. His hands travelled along her skin, he wasn’t in the mood for teasing so he went to the one place that would bring her the most amount of pleasure. She was wet and swollen already, her body clenching around his finger as he thrust into her carefully. His claw rubbed against the one spot deep within her that had her begging within moments. This time was no different, her nails bit into the soft skin beneath his fringe, her teeth were clamped onto his neck. 

He removed his fingers, lifting her so he slipped into her. They both sat still enjoying the feel of one another. Garrus’ let his hand fall to her stomach where their child lay, he closed his eyes bowing his head until their foreheads met. Slowly he thrust into her, holding her tightly to him. 

He wasn’t about to rust this mating he wanted it to last as long as possible. His thrust were strong and deep, but he kept them slow enjoying how her muscles clenched around him. Lust was starting to take over as his body came closer to release, each thrust harder than the last, the next coming quicker than the last. 

“Spirits I am not going to last Mate,” he whispered. 

“Then come for me,” she whispered against his mouth before kissing him deeply. Garrus groaned low as his body released into her, he held her tightly to him when he felt her reach her peak. 

“Shepard, the results are ready,” Mordin’s voice broke the moment as his voice came over the coms. 

“I’ll be there in a bit,” she gasped out, trying her best to speak normally. She scowled when she realized that it had come out breathlessly instead of normal. 

“Should not be mating until results of tests,” Mordin reprimanded. 

“Too late,” Garrus murmured with a chuckle. 

Tania snickered when silence was met with Garrus’ statement. “You know we are both going to get a lecture,” she muttered with a grin. 

“Well worth it,” Garrus murmured. 

~ooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

Mordin glared at the two when they walked into his office. He was surprised there was no bruises this time, or bite marks. Garrus had one on his neck but Tania didn’t sport any. He was glad Garrus had taken it easier this time, Tania’s body couldn’t do rough, not until the babe was born. 

“So when do I pop?” Tania asked as she took a seat on one of the tables. 

“One week you will be coming in so I can do a C-Section,” Mordin told her and smiled when her eyes widened. 

“Is he or she going to be ready to come out then?” she asked hopefully. 

“Yes, infant development takes after Turian, so there will be no problems. IF there is we can incubate him or her until safe,” Mordin answered with a shrug. “Would suggest you abstain from sexual intercourse until after surgery. 

“What?!” Tania stared at him incredulously. 

“Not healthy for fetus, sexual activities are usually very rough. Your body is under enough strain,” Mordin stated. 

“Fine,” Tania sighed and looked to Garrus to see how he was taking this. 

“We’ll figure something out,” Garrus reassured her, a light in his eyes that had her smiling. Mordin caught the look and rolled his eyes. He couldn’t order them to stop all sexual, but he had done the best he could. He knew Garrus would never intentionally harm his wife and that soothed him somewhat. 

 


End file.
